Flame me if you want toooooooooooooooooo

Jackie--I just wanted to say that I visited Scottland last year and loved it. What a great place you call home!

Are you having a bad day, week, month? I sense that lol. Seriously. Anything I can DO? Need to chat? I can say that Yes, I AM living a real life now. I have a purpose. I get up with joy in my heart most days - I truly AM a bit of a pollyanna...and that's cool. It's much better than the crabby assed soul I was before. I can live with a bit o'stupidly happy in my heart. The "real" ideal of person I've wanted to be? Nope - To me, that's a life long adventure/journey - and when I get to that point, I"ll **** up my toes and 'go Home' To a degree, I didn't know that THIS me existed...it's been kind of fun finding her. Where am I? Umm well I'm not sure...physically I'm in my living room. Mentally - I'm still evolving - so I'm not really anywhere! Yes I would do it again...over and over and over again. Yes, to a degree...it would help if you were a bit more specific about what is going on with you hun. (((HUGS)))

Hi Tooter Need a chat I think I need therapy after that post I wrote it after my pain meds had kicked in and I guess my head was somewhere else because this morning even I am having difficulty understanding it Yesterday was a very emotional day for me it was the aniversary on my nephew's death, he was killed in a road accident at the age of 8yrs and also it was the funeral of the little boy (6yrs old)who died suddenly at the weekend. I guess all the stress messed up my head, today I am better. Thank you for trying to make sence of my post Jackie

Hi 1.) I am "now" living life as it was meant to be, I was not living before. 2.) My DH isn't handling the new me very well, his issues not mine. 3.) I am working on becoming what I have always dreamed I would/could be. Not there yet 4.) I think I have changed for the better. I want the entire world to feel as wonderful about life as I do. And shopping 5.) 2/3 of the way into my journey. Lost the weight, at goal, discovered my passion for working out and waiting for 2 major reconstruction surgeries. Discovered my love for Jewelry design. 6.) YES, YES, YES, YES, YES 7.) Your questions indicate you are in a bad place right now, let us know if we can help. Take care, Kathy

Hi Kathy I wrote this post after the pain meds had kicked in, my head was in la la land at the time. I have read and re-read my post this morning and I truely do not know what the heck I was trying to say Admmitidatly(sp) yesterday was a bad day for me, it was the aniversary on my nephew's death (he was killed in a road accident at the age of 8yrs) and also I child I cared for died suddenly at the weekend and his funeral was also yesterday (he was only 6yrs old) Hopefully today will be better. Thank you for trying to make sence of my post and for the kind words of support. Jackie

You sound like you might need a (((( HUG )))) Sorry about your bad day, and about the deaths of these two young lads. Life doesn't always deal us ACES, sometimes you have to try to win with the hand you have been given. Don't fold the hand....bluff your way to a happier existance!!! I know this can be difficult, as I was widowed young and had to bluff my way for a while...but times change and so do cir****tances...better days are ahead for you. Hoping today is a great day for you!!!! Karen G 1. But are you NOW living a real life I'm living life healthier, but my existance is not that much different. I actually miss the partying I was able to do before.... now that I don't drink alcohol. I am a much more sober and serious person. 2. Have you become the real ideal of the person you wanted to be??????????? Nope... I still have 43 pounds to lose....but I'm getting there. 3. Or have you became someome you did not know existed ???????????? Somedays..... when I find myself going to bed early and getting up early.... and not closing the bars down on karaoke nights....it is a different lifestyle...but I am learning to appreciate other things...such as my workouts. 4. Have YOU changed for better or worse do YOU tolerate more or less My tolerance of others has always been very high. This has not changed. My tolerance of myself is sometimes less, as I get down on myself for not reaching my weight loss goals yet. 5. Where are you at this moment in time????????????? At my desk, at work. In a great relationship in my personal life and enjoying my 3 beautiful grand children. Where I am is that life is beautiful and I want to be here for a long time, to enjoy it. 6. Would I do this again In a heartbeat. I wish I did it 15 years ago, when my husband was still alive to share my success. 7. Do I make any sense I won't judge you. We all have are ups and downs. I'm wishing you many "UP" days ahead.

Right there with kiki on this one............. a John Denver song I have always liked says it quite well: Some days are diamonds, some days are stone some days the hard times won't leave me alone sometimes the cold wind puts a chill in my bones ...... some days are diamonds, some days are stones.