When...

Well, it's part of me--the same as being married for 26 years, being a mother. It's part of what I've lived--experienced, but WLS doesn't define me. It's not my first and last thought for the day. If anything it's given me the freedom to NOT think of food. I have things I eat and don't eat, and they are just a part of my day. I don't have a hard time with it all--I just live. I'm very pleased and comfortable. I don't post a lot--I read alot--but I'm to the place that I don't need the acceptance from anyone else. I like to know what's new---how others are doing---but I sure don't offer advice. It's an individual life style---good luck to all. Bek

I agree 99%. Not much to add or take away. Tek

WLS definately does not define me, but it is an important part of my life. I don't belong to a gall bladder removal group, but the gall bladder removal really didn't change my life in any way. I didn't have to learn about it, or learn a new lifestyle to be "successful" at it or have to worry about the permanent changes to my plumbing affecting me as with the issues of malabsorption, osteopenia, risk of bowel obstructions etc that have gone hand - in - hand with my WLS. I didn't have to deal with others observing my every bite post op to see if I "deserved" gall bladder surgery or waiting for me to fail, or saying lets see if she keeps the gall bladder gone. I had no emotional attachment to my gall bladder. I definately did and still do with my food. I am obviously not as well adjusted a you I had a lot of people at OH help me when I was researching WLS, answering questions, talking in chat etc. Many of them are no longer a presence. I am just hoping to give back to others. For the lady that works for a bariatric program - you have a dream job in my eyes. I really would like to be a patient care counselor etc, but the only job that interested me paid about 1/3 what I make at my present job and I have plastic surgery to pay off before I can take any other job, and a DH who would be very unhappy at the prospect of my income diving that low.

Do I SOUND well adjusted? Hmmmm. I guess experience has as much to do with all this as anything. I didn't have anyone judging every bite I take, judging whether I deserved WLS or not, or waiting for me to fail. I imagine (and that is what I must do) if someone has been through such things they might have a different outlook. As for "giving back" that was, if I recall the final form of my post, or at least in one or more of the replies, one of the points. Why the "need" to give back, pay it forward here? Is it a life sentence? Then there is the issue that when I "pay back" there are 10 people paying back the opposite. I feel like I lose ground with every post... Yes, I see the irony in the statement. Tek

tek..i think in life in general most people want to give back to something..it can be voluntering , alot of wls post-ops like to help out pre-ops.. after i had my surgery i mentored about 5 people and helped them go thru the head hunger..the foamies..the runs my phone was ringing constantly..my hubby used to say to me what are you our lady of weight loss surgery..id tell him no im mother tersa ok? even though i went to a excellent surgeon, wonderful nutrionoinst and shrink 2 months before surgery and 2 months after and now every 2 months for issues with food i really had no one but myself and i was scared especially the first time ther food got stuck when i didnt chew enough or when i got lactose tolerant.. so if i could help anyone after before surgery i will..me im not a walking advertisement for wls..people that know i had the surgery dont whisper ohh you had the surgery oh she had the surgery..im still me only healthier .......... im just me plain and simple.. joann

For me, it's a debt of service. Not one that anyone else "should" feel obligated to have or to pay...but for me, it's a debt. I have to pay it back, pay it forward, etc. WLS does not define me any more than my obesity defined me preop - it was confining, but not defining. Anyway, I have a life outside of OH. I don't talk about my surgery or 'postop' life with people outside of OH, unless I know someone is interested in possibly pursuing the surgery. Otherwise, I shop, play, dine out, teach, learn about a variety of things and belong to other groups (that are not weight loss related in any way, shape or form). But this place...this is where I am paying my dues. Geez, did that make ONE whit of sense?

You made a whit of sense Tek

I am a member of a Grieving Widows group, too. My husband has been gone nearly 5 years. I am no longer grieving, but I pop into the group to offer support to new members who have recently lost their spouses. It is a comfort to know that you can "move on" with your life, after such a major upheaval. WLS is a similar situation. I am still relatively new to this lifestyle, being 13 months post-op. I am still learning, now....but I hope to share my experience with those who are interested in having WLS. I'm committing at least 5 years to my post-op support and to updating my profile. After that, I will have "moved-on" but will continue to pop-in on occassion. Cheers Karen G

This is an interesting perspective and approach. I may actually have a "move on" timetable I am not aware of. Sorta like when I hit size 36 jeans, it clicked that somewhere in my mind this was my association with 'normal'. Maybe something will click at some point and all this will become history. Tek