When...

I reached a stable weight at about 20 months. I reach a stable eating pattern at about 12 months. I never really percieved a "WLS Struggle". My approach has always been that I will cope with whatever WLS throughs my way. I quickly accepted the new parameters WLS demanded to the point that they became 'normal'. Pre-op I never worried what the scale said (not that I could fit on one anyhow). Now, I don't worry either. While I was losing weight, the scale was fun. Tek

I've wondered that myself, many times. The first two years it didn't bother me to think of myself as a WLS person. And when it did become a concern, I tried to distance myself from all WLS-related activities. That was so much harder than I expected. But a friend, a very successful recovering alcoholic for the last 12 years, asked me why I thought I could just one day turn the corner and not think about it. Did I not, before surgery, think about being fat and/or eating (a lot) every single day? He pointed out that having surgery and having successful lost all that weight did not change the fact that I am and always will be a recovering foodaholic. My friend still attends at least one AA meeting a week and is a friend/mentor to several who are not yet as successful in their journeys as he is. So by coming here, going to my local support group, and both learning and hopefully giving in a productive way, is simply part of my life from now on. I also think about it because I get pretty serious reminders about what and how I eat on a frequent basis. I get a reminder often because my abdominal muscles and skin are so tight following a TT. My daughter, a healthy 11 year cancer survivor thinks about her journey through life with a daily nod to her cancer as well. I guess that most very dramatic changes in our lives add some new definition of who we are, how we view life, and how we respond to it. And I no longer wait or even wonder if I'll just stop thinking about being someone who's life was saved by WLS, and perhaps to maintain this awesome level of gratitude I have for it, I need to think about it every day. Ann, just rambling.

I don't think I was or ever have been a "foodoholic". I did try a 12 step approach to weight but it didn't click with me. Even so, I don't think I am expecting to change my mindset in one day. I don't believe I am forever "in recovery". Such a mindset may work for many, but not for me. I'm not sure why I should be any more thankful for WLS in my life than, say, the tonsillectomy that I had at 4, or the reconstructive surgeries I had between 10 and 13, or the TT I had last year. I certainly do not hang with "Tonsilectomy Survivors" on a messageboard. WLS saved my life, so did the tonsillectomy. Heck, my TT almost cost my life, and the surgery 3 hours later DID save my life, but I don't hang on a message board for that (not that I even know what THAT is called). Tek

Ann, You may have been rambling, but I agree with you. I guess we are all different, but I like you, feel like I need to remember and be grateful. The beauty of life is that we are all different but for me, you said it all. Judi

i posted on my profile a couple of years ago. I said, "for several months or a year as a pre-op, WLS consumes your life. For about a year after, same thing. Then it is time to move on". Does this mean I have forgotten where I came from? No, it just means that that part of my life is not all consuming now. I actually got irritated at a friend a year or so ago. Every little OH event that came up, she would ask me if I was going. i always told her no, that those things are of little interest to me anymore. She could never understand but with time, she did. I may get bashed for this but i think one of the reasons I get so bored on the main board is that the issues most of them have are of little interest, if any, to me. Really, the main reason I come HERE is usually out of boredom and not having anything to do. I stay on a yorkie talk board much more. I am not obese, i don't look, think or act like an obese person. I know what I need to know to maintain and if I don't know, my surgeon is my source for information. I am sorry if any of you are offended by this but it is my opinion. I have made great friends on here and love all of you but long distance relationships rarely last. Or the relationships I have on here are like the ones I have with my neighbors. We speak when we see each other. They are nice. They think we are nice. We go our way and they go theirs. BUT, we all know that we are there for each other if a need arises. That's more important in the scheme of things.

I think I asked the same question when I was about 1 year post-op. Like you, I have no interest in Obesity Events. I don't think Obesity or WLS is enough of a common demoninator to spend time with people. Sitting for a day, weekend, or week "learning" about obesity and WLS has got to be one of the boringest things in the world. I probably have forgetten where I came from (obesity), at least according to all the "Sensitive" folks out there. I can't remember how I felt when I was 300 pounds overweight, although I have "flashes" of recollection. I remember things, but I don't "FEEL" them. Almost like I am looking at someone elses life. I do know that even then I was out of step with most obese people, and had a different view of things. Tek

I left OH for almost a year ... and having been plagued with "issues", this was the first place I came back to, in an effort to reach out to others who have or are going through similar experiences as me. I feel I am developing friendships that I would like to maintain outside this forum, and I am glad to know it's here for me. I will never completely be "over" WLS, but I also do not want it to overwhelm me and stop me from moving on. So, whether the people here are transients or not, I am glad to have "met" you all, and hope I can provide advice, comfort, and the occasional laugh that I've received here. Karyn

Tek, For me, it's a case of availability That keeps me hangin' around. I work at a computer most of the time And have down time while printing, Or while waiting for processing sometimes With Vectorworks to PhotoShop applications. During those little 45 sec to 1 minute intervals I drop in out here and check in. I've never been to a board prior to this one So part of my addiction is just the general "Message Board" thing, and could be the same At some other "interest site." I know a lot of Theater folks who Keep up with some message board on Specific to their area- Props, Stage Managers, Choreographers, etc... In the little breaks in my work, Waiting for something from my computer, I used to step out the door for a quick smoke Or have a Diet Coke and probably peanut M&M's. Dropping by a 24/7 support group Seems a great substitute. I think it's probably one of my New Habits. Even as my life has become less focused On my "transformation" and now just on Getting on with things, This little window to OH has stayed open. It's the only area that has WLS emphasis though. Everything else is just a focus on living "normally." Best Wishes- Dx

I often wonder if this is a fallback to an old, bad habit for me. Tek

"I often wonder if this is a fallback to an old, bad habit for me." I often wonder the same thing.