Stupid Post.

Here is my thoughts.. I respect the mens board, however, I once ventured over to ask a question that only men could really answer. It is the only time I have been there, all of the men *****plied were very respectful and gave me some good ideas. Now I would not go there and be a regular not to postor to lurk, but I am greatful they were there for me when I needed their opinion. As for the Grads board I dont post here much, I am not sure where I belong or where I fit in. Good post and I enjoyed the responses. Hugs T

Geez why wouldn't you fit in here? We're all different - what I DO like here is nobody bashes you for your food choices - some minor constructive critisism is the worst I've seen...and we're all in pretty much the same boat - trying to lose a few pounds or maintain the ones we've got.

When I have a question on how to handle a situation with my wife, I take the rather unorthodox approach of asking my wife. I know it is strange, but I figure she is the best source of information about her. If my wife has questions on how to handle me in a situation, I want her to ask me. It may not show here on the message board, but I am a pretty direct person. If I have a problem, issue, concern, interest, or whatever with a person, I will talk to them about it. If there is one flaw in this approach, its that people are not always honest. Fitting In is a toughy. Can't help but think that us not fitting in (more accurately, not feeling as if we fit in) IS part of the MO Mentality, and may be a post topic for another day. If Fitting In means common understanding, I don't fit in most places Tek

"It may not show here on the message board, but I am a pretty direct person. If I have a problem, issue, concern, interest, or whatever with a person, I will talk to them about it." you are right--never would have guessed--here I thought you were a wishy washy--goody two shoes.

I think it is more a sign of feeling like they will be accepted because they are in the company of others who have been where they are and that we will be happy to answer their questions and be supportive. they should know we are not that kind of people I am by nature rebellious of rules that don't make sense to me. I QUESTION AUTHORITY on a regular basis, much to the dismay of my boss. altho I will not be accused of getting into the 'group think" mode they are trying to break up at work.

you're right - we DO have a lot in common!

Using the Grad board as an example, it is set up because we presumably are in a common place or have a common interest, may have common issues, concerns, etc. with EACH OTHER. We have been pre-op, and early post-op, so we have that experience in common with Non-Grads. However, the Grad Board is set up to discuss Grad Issues. It is established to deal with OUR issues, not THEIR issues. This is our place to help us. Ok, that sounds harsh, but I can't figure a way to say it more gently. How do you appear "supportive and accepting" while telling someone "don't post here"? Most of us actually do care about others. Most of us want to help. Most of us want to be supportive. Most of us don't want to hurt anyones feelings. So, for the most part, nothing is said about strays. It would be like a man going into Curves to ask for exercise tips for his girlfriend. It would likely be tolerated, but no matter how well the intentions, it would not be appreciated. I like the idea of questioning authority. Further, I believe we need to question the "givens", the basis on which all else is built. Too often, the "givens", the things we accept as true without thought, are wrong or misguided. Tek

I know what you're saying - I've avoided posting things here that I wanted to talk or get advice on from other "grads" (that is the name of this board isn't it?) but didn't because of the others reading it and getting the wrong idea. It happened when I posted a while back and the hate mail I received was enought to make me want to quit posting anywhere. I want and need other grads opinions but don't feel I can post here because it will show up on another board or someone not in my shoes will not understand what or why I'm asking and make a big deal out of it. It's too bad there isn't common courtesy when posting. I would never think to go to the men's board, as common courtesy, nor do I go to the singles board as I'm married. I don't read or post on the abused forum because I have nothing to add there for example and don't have a clue where those that have been are coming from. That's just me. As for the MO mentality? I think that's too broad to answer. Don't even get me started on following the rules.........Myrtle.

Oh be brave Myrtle. You're no shrinking violet. Emails can be deleted and nasty posts removed. You have a "RIGHT" to seek out support on this (and most) boards here on OH.

It is frustrating to have what we say quoted out of context to inflame the masses. Some seem to purposely change the meaning of what we post to create an issue. Tek