Lets talk about...
Before I married my husband I demanded a transcript from his early years in education...wanted to find out how well he played with others, his ability to share, and his affinity for running with scissors. He scored high within the first two categories and low in the other (bit of a daredevil, edge-livin' type) and that's why I married him.
Why can't your husband share his ice cream?
Does it have his name on it?
Is it under lock and key?
Why don't you go get your own ice cream?
IMHO, you can HAVE the ice cream...unless of course eating it would result in a threatening situation. This thing is not about denial. It is about living life like a normal person. As you are nearing 2 years post op perhaps it is time to think about life in the real world...the world where food, temptation, ice cream is all around us!
Many times on this board we have discussed moderation vs. non moderation people. At the risk of getting a serious ass kicking I contend that we are all moderation people if we recognize our triggers, temptations, physical reactions, etc. and make the appropriate choices.
Can you have a serving (likely 1/2 cup and 200 calories)? Are you afraid that if you have some you have to have it all? At what point are you "allowed" to have your husband's ice cream? When you reach goal? If so, how will have learned about portion control, moderation, just because some is more it does not mean more is better?
If I deny myself the thing I really want then I eat a whole bunch of other crap instead. Then I want to kick myself for the denial and the mindless hunt and kill that went along with it.
So, all I am saying in a really long route to the point is...think about lifestyle changes...living a life that is reasonable, healthy and comfortable vs. a life of the "can't haves."
Karen
Wow Karen.
I had this surgery to be normal, to be like other people who can eat things like ice cream once in awhile, not every day, and not by the gallon. And I think I have gotten so scared of going back to the old lifestyle I've put in some restrictions I hadn't quite counted on.
I "can" have the ice cream. He shares everything with me. Here's the thing. Ok, a few things.
1. sugar makes me dump, and sugar alcohols make me puke
2. I'm scared if I eat a little, I will eat it all. I don't trust myself. *sigh*
I think item number 2 is the scary one for me. I've already eaten sugar free chocolate, been sick as a dog for hours, and then went and had another one. So the whole puking thing is obviously not enough of a deterrent for me.
Now I have some more to think about. I'm a big advocate of eating "normally", but I seem to be way harder on myself.
Thanks for the perspective =)
Michele
PS: I'm at goal weight.
Interesting. I have dumped only a few times in 5 years and every time it has been linked to a sugar free or some sort of substituted product. Could the crap in the substituted stuff be a dumping trigger?
My point is that you can have some. And you can have it every day. But only if you stay within the calorie range that allows you to maintain your goal weight. BTW, congratulations on your incredible success!!!
I have never been a carb or protein gram counter. I have counted calories every day since 6 weeks post op. Hate every minute of it. But, if nothing else, I have learned what it takes for me to lose/gain/maintain. I eat dessert every day...for the very reasons posted earlier in this thread. I realized that in order to be "normal" I better think like a normal person.
So, I eat dessert (in public!!! ain't that a kick in the ass!!!) because I see normal people eating dessert too. I eat a portion, or at the most what is in my "calorie" bank for the day.
I guess once again I have led you down a long path to say, live like a normal person, think like a normal person, after all you ARE a normal person. Just one who knows what hell the formerly MO face every minute of every day. And because you know you will never be fat again.
Find something that will not make you dump and eat it. Practice moderation. Don't be afraid. If you learn that you cannot handle it, then turn back knowing that you tried something and you learned just a little bit more about yourself. Either way you gain insight, not pounds!
Karen
Ohh Michele--I try really hard to buy things I don't like, but I accidentally bought some ice cream yesterday that I do like--thought it contained peanut butter which I don't like--it doesn't. I agree with Tooter what gets harder is the fact that some foods don't disturb us as much as they did previously--making "cheating" easier.
I usually buy Blue bunny no sugar added krunch lite bars and they cure the urge when I want a little snack.
Oh Michele, you have told my story. My husband too always has a gallon of Dryers Ice Cream in the freezer. He loves it and probably eats it nightly. So I have a tub of strawberry cool whip, only 25 calories for two tablespoons. It does the trick for me. Consider a candle lit for you. Hugs
302/153/155
6"0
Thankfully ice cream does nothing for me. Never really did but now I can leave it alone without fear. I do have the Blue Bunny Sugar free treats in the freezer in case I do get an urge. My problem lies in bread and pastry. The biggest challenge is that I run a bakery/cafe and I am around it all day, making it and serving it. I was on a major stall for months and I know that it was because I was allowing myself to have something everyday. I have cranked up the control and began the slow loss again, but I still have between 25-40 more to lose. I worry because I am close to that 2 year mark. I am trying to increase my walking but it amazes me how much is needed to reach 10,000 steps. I can't get even close and I walk around at work all day long. I am exausted when I get home from a 12 hour day. Who wants to walk another few miles?
I truely understand everyones fears about "regular" food. Dumping does't last forever. I almost wish that it did, like another tool to use. Thankfully it still works for me now. I am just too dumb to see it coming and avoid it. Best wishes in the new year.
Ah, rich vanilla ice cream with hot fudge, homemade caramel sauce, and what the heck some salted nuts. That was my idea of bliss pre-op.Three, no, four scoops sometimes. Right after a big dinner. If such a sundae wasn't available, a thick rich chocolate malt with extra malt was a fine substitute.
I too missed the ice cream. Didn't have any for more than a year, not a tiny spoonful. Then I tried the sugar free (big puke in multiple ways) and other supposedly "healthier" variations with equally disasterous results. Then I tried the real stuff. Just a tablespoon. TOO much sugar and I dumped, which definitely leaves a bad taste in the *mind*. Another year goes by and I want not just a malt, but a big juicy bacon cheeseburger on a bun and seasoned fries (don't know why about those fries, because I've never liked fries). I thought about it and talked about it until my DH insisted we go to the malt shop. I felt guilty just walking in there, so he ordered for me. When it came to our table, I got woozy just looking at the volume and smelling it all (It was enough for 6-8 meals for me). He insisted I try it all and get it out of my system. I did; two bites of burger (no bun, afterall), 1 fry and a couple of sips of malt. I was very sick for hours; the drive home was sheer misery.
Ice cream, burgers and fries no longer pass through my mind or hitch on the brain waves that say "I want you! I need you!". So they don't pass my lips either. "Forced feeding" cured me, it seems. I can buy ice cream for the family, I can di**** up, and I can watch others eat it, but if there is any left over, it stays in the freezer until it crystallizes and has to be tossed. Three years ago it was barely in the freezer long enough to become frozen. Now, if I could just do that for a couple of other food problems, I'd be set for life!
Ann
Ann, This could be my story. I grew up in a house where we ALWAYS a bowl of ice cream before bed and taking it away was a form of punishment. I LOVED ice cream. Now, after multiple attempts with numerous brands, it no longer holds any allure for me at all. Make me too woozy, desperately anxious to upchuck and get it out of my system, an sooooooooo sleepy. It's not even a problem for me. Wish I view some other foods through the same lens.
And a greasy burger just doesn't do much for me. 2-3 bites and I'm done. I love it when someone else in the family orders fast food though. They've all become accustomed to giving me 2-3 fries and a bite of burger which leaves me happy as a clam.
Funny how similar some of us are.....
Julie
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