I so want to help but sometimes it just doesn't pay

I have been coming to this board for almost 5 years since my surgery, I've learned a lot and hopefully I've helped a few people along the way. What I am still dumbfounded by is the amount of people who don't have a clue? Is common sense a thing of the past? Sometimes it's all I can do to hit the delete button and not post something snotty. Some of the posts are so repititious it drives me crazy, and do people NOT ask their surgeons any questions when they go for their first consult? I am so frazzled with reading these boards lately and don't know if I should laugh, cry or revoke my membership to OH. I try to be as open minded as I can be but sometimes it's so hard to do!!!! In the last couple days I've read: "My doctor put me on clear liquids, what does that mean?" clear liquids. "How can I lose 10 pounds before surgery?" we've all been on a hundred diets, pick one of those - we all know how to lose - it's keeping it off that's the problem. "I just found out I'm pregnant and I'm 5 months out - is this going to be a problem?" what did your doctor say about two forms of birth control the first two years? "I'm losing my hair -what can I do to make it stop?" "I feel hungry all the time, and have to eat more, now I'm not losing like i was, can I get a revision?" "My periods are so terible after surgery, is this normal?" and then there are the women who have such low self esteem and are in the most terrible of relationships and think that's normal! I am just so sad surgeon's aren't getting the message across that this is a tool - your brain isn't operated on. It's work, every day. You lose weight when you take in less than you burn off. We need to exercise, we need lots of water and very little food - but of good quality. We need to feel good about ourselves and not take crappy treatment. We need to learn what our bodies tell us and go with it. We have to make food a low priority on our list and make friends, family and relationships and taking care of ourselves our first priority. Sorry to rant but I've just about had it today. I didn't do any research going into this surgery, many do years of it and still don't have a clue. But I had a notion of what they were going to do with my body inside and what was going to happen to me as a post op - that was common sense. It's hard for me to read some of the posts and remain optimistic. Please don't flame me for this one. I only want everyone to have the success and wonderful post op life I've had and for some I just don't see it happening. Myrtle.

First off, let me say that five years is downright inspirational to me! Congratulations on you success - it sounds like you have worked hard and well for it. I hope that I am as successful. I can't agree with you more. I spend most of my time here (and almost all of my time on the main board) lurking. Back a while ago, I posted what I thought was a helpful suggestion to one of those ever-so-obvious questions like "What's the problem with a few chocolates?" and I was lambasted in a nasty e-mail about didn't I think I was just so perfect because chocolate wasn't a good option. Hmmmm. Frankly, life is too short to deal with people like that. While the pace is slower on this board, everyone has mellowed and their ideas, advice and feedback is certainly helpful. I think your post is wonderful and, as Jane already said, what many have already felt. As far as I'm concerned, you are the "normal" one with the sane reaction. Keep the faith and keep coming to OH! Warmly, Judi

i know exactly where you are coming from. I could have written this post myself. These things is why I hardly ever post ANYWHERE anymore. It is really hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Plus the fact that they don't seem to want to hear anything we old timers have to say. The main board is "the blind leading the blind". i don't even care anymore. It is useless.

Rock on, Myrtle!! Every time I see one of those posts, I wish I could start a new thread on "Rules for the New Post-Op" and go over the basics...AGAIN!!!!!! Jan

Why don't you start a Rules for the new Post op on the main board - I think many would get something out of it. I think it's a great idea.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I don't post much to the main board anymore. They just don't get it! It is a tool! Sometimes I read the posts and think "where are you people anyway?" "I ate two pieces of pizza and I was still on clear liquids but I was so hungry I just had to have food. I'm one week out. Is that okay?" Glad we have each other to vent to!

If the grad board serves a positive purpose, it's this: it keeps us from slapping the dog snot out of the clueless. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

I swear, not a day goes by when I read the main board that I don't want to bi#$#$ slap someone. That gal on the "worst Day' post is on right now and all over Kiki. She needs a knott jerked in her arse as my poor dearly departed mother used to say!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You, thank you, thank you, for showing me I am not alone! Anymore, I only go to the main board if I want a good laugh. I find mostly two types. Recent Post-ops who eat anything & everything and understand why they aren't losing terrific amounts ("I guess I'm just a slow loser" ) and the pre-ops who are convinced that they will never ever eat anything bad again & are not afraid to jump on post-ops who confess they slipped off the wagon. They are the ones that really get my goat. If they think they can do this and never "cheat" then how did they get in this condition in the first place? I just want to shake them. Oh, and I agree about the gals who are willing to accept anything in pants & any way he will treat them. I know of one gal who is on again off again engaged to an imate in the pen. And she is worried that HE won't like her kids! Lady, you have accomplished so much with yourself physically in the last couple years, work on your self esteem! Dixie

OK, since this thread is destined to be removed... Heres the type that get me... OT: Relationship Help. My children, 21 and 32 don't respect me. It ****** me off, they don't work, don't do any chores around the house, they don't even clean their rooms. Everytime I do it, I fuss at them, but they just laugh at me and mess it up quicker. It makes me want to forget to buy their drugs once, just to show them how it feels. I try to talk to my husband, but he calls me a "fat pig" then starts beating me with whatever is handy. I cry, and he just laughs. His girl friend is staying with us, but what my husband doesn't know is she is having an affair with the 21 year old... daughter. If he finds out, it will be heck to pay around here. Ok, heres my question... My husband wants Turkey for Christmas, but I will be a week post-op then, do think I will be able to have a little, just to so I don't make him uncomfortable by drooling? Am I being selfish? Tek