Hey Grads - need some help
Well, this is what I posted to my journal today. It's been a long time since I've participated on the boards much less taken care of my own journey journal.
I'm asking for suggestions, comments - swift kicks in the butt - anything to pull me out of this....
Well, I haven't posted in ages. So much has been going on that my head just swims.
First - my daughter who I have staying with my mother currently is still not making any progress in pulling her head out of her hoozie whatsit for the past 3 months. We are now currently looking into FAMILY counseling. We don't believe individual counseling is the way to go for her at this point. It's been good in one way because we haven't had one single argument in the house since she left. The bad thing...I miss her so and want her home and won't let her come bac****il she can just to the basic things in life. She is acting like the single most self centered selfish person that I know in her life. I've tried chalking it up to being a teenager - but it's too far. So, this leaves me in great depression. We decided not to have any family come up this year because not everyone knows she's not at home. They don't need to know. I mean really - What can they do? Nothing. We've tried everything. I've got in touch with a friend of mine who works for DFYS and she's going to be getting back with me in the next day or so to give me some more guidance. I want my family back together and whole.
Secondly - Son of Satan and the Daughter of Darkness are still trying to get my youngest to live with them. She made honor roll last semester and she was so excited. She told him and his response, "Oh, what about this quarter." That was just the meanest thing to say. He tells me that because all I care about is money, he'll still pay me the child support if he can just take her for the remainder of the year. Uhhhh....NO! I don't give a flip about the money. He just wants to move away with her and that would give him an upper hand that I am very unwilling to do. My daughter is best with me, where she has been since birth. Why would I change that now.
Thirdly - my back. I've been going through physical therapy and chiropractic adjustments and deep tissue massage for the past several months. Things are finally starting to look up, but not much.
Fourth - my DH and sons went on a hunting trip on Saturday. They went to Cordova. They haven't bagged anything but they all say the weather is so good and it's very beautiful. They're on some island shaped like an H. I guess the weather was so great, they stood on sandy beaches with surf board surf hitting the beach and in t-shirts! Go figure. It snowed like a mother yesterday and yes I was stuck shoveling the driveway. Stupid thing for me to do because I just made my back that much worse. Oh well!
Fifth - I have been placed into an Acting position for Inspector. I'm not doing any inspector duties because they are having me to the uniforms. The same level of pay is what the person was that I am replacing at this point. It has my supervisor in such an uproar. She posted an ECR (I can't prove it because they're anonymous.) that said all Admin staff is mad. I just heard enough rumor that it leads me directly to her and of course the "Why did they promote OUR F9 to an F29" didn't exactly make things muddy for me.
Sixth - we had two deaths last week in the Fire Department. One was a BC's wife. He went home and found her dead. She was quite ill and nobody knew about it. That was her wish. Then a firefighters father passed. Ugh...
Seventh - Yesterday I got a call from my youngest at 7:00am - "Mom, I did something really stupid (said through muffled and crying voice) - I cut my bangs - HELP ME!" Lovely, so off we went to the hairdresser last night to fix her butcher job. It was odd because just Friday she asked if I'd be willing to cut her bangs. I told her no. Then yesterday I asked her the question, "If I wouldn't do it why on earth would you." Well that didn't set very well with her.
Eighth - being audited (internal) oh we are taking a bath. Not to my doing, but to lack of training and not following municipal ordinance. Lovely....enough said there - it's ugly.
Ninth - our current Fire Chief is retiring on 1/19/06 and our new Chief is great! YEAH!!! Couldn't have picked a better man for the job.
Tenth - Got back from a trip to Delaware. I visited the Gore Factory. It was for uniforms. I was greeted by a chauffer with a sign holding my name and then delivered to a 7 person stretch limo all for me! I was driven back to the airport that way too. What a lovely treat! We did some sporting clay shooting and I was the best female shooter overall and the best shooter overall for the second half of the clays. I felt victorious!
Eleventh - I'm slated to go to Juneau next month to address the SERC. Maybe I can get a chance to see my childhood friend. I haven't seen her since the 80's.
Twelfth - I've been feeling generally crappy for the last several days. Just wish I'd either get sick or get over it. I'm sure the depression level just isn't doing me any good, but oh well.
Thirteenth - and appropriately numbered. Because my back has been in such a wreck, I've been doing NOTHING for activity and I've packed on 10 pounds. I can't begin to tell you how depressed it's made me. When I start feeling better, back to exercise I go. I don't want those pounds back.
Fourteenth - my mother has skin cancer - she assures me that it's nothing for me to fret over, but her surgery is today.
Fifteenth - my father is still smoking and my daughter has caught him in several lies. ugh.
Don't know if I'll post more until after the first of the year. So if I don't - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that good stuff.
I don't know if I'll be back on until tonight - so don't fret if I don't respond to posts until then. For now thank you in advance for your comments.
I had been wondering where you have been. Wow-you have a lot on your plate. I just want to mention that, while I don't know the specifics of the situation with your oldest daughter, I think family counselling is a great idea. Sometimes it is good to take it out of the house. I was a very troubled teen and I turned things around--I figure if I did--then there is hope for everyone. My family was kind of screwed up and I just really wanted to get out of my house--I wish I had an option to live somewhere else. Just be careful when choosing a counselor as there are some fruitcakes out there. I know you must be really frustrated and just at your wit's end--but hopefully things will improve for you and her. I hope things are not bad enough for you to have to turn to DFYS and you are just asking your friend for help. That should definitely be a route of last resort.
I hope your holidays are good and things get better for you and your family.
Oh thank you Lynda. I too was a troubled teen and put out of the house for six months. I tell ya I changed my entire look on the world in that 6 months. I had already made great progress at this point, but my daughter isn't. So sad.
Yes I think the family counseling is going to be good for us. I just still haven't heard from my friend. She's soooo busy. I mean we aren't a "case" after all, but still I wish she'd call. I just want to start stuff off and get my daughter home.
I really appreciate the time you took to respond to my post. I am hopeful that my holidays will improve but also realize...they could be worse. So with that being said...I'm grateful for what is good right now and accepting of what I can work on for change.
I hope you as well have a joyous and happy holiday season.
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