Honesty?

Asking some women to be honest about anything is bad enough. Expecting a woman to honest about matters of weight is just too much to ask. That's why they prefer to discuss 'garment sizes', because it lacks any semblance of accuracy, it full of ambiguity and allows them to lie and maintain their integrity all at the same time. If you don't understand, you must have the wrong genitalia. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

Noting the judicious use of qualifiers... yup. Tek

Failure to slather a statement with copious qualifiers will have them coming at knives drawn. Next time I will work the word 'alleged' into it as well. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

Hmm-I'm sort of giggling a little at your reference to women and honesty. We often have the discussion about whether omitting something is equal to lying. Just a private joke for me I guess. You are absolutely right Jay--asking me to be honest about my weight is just too much to ask. I had a hard enough time being honest with myself about my weight and my weight problems. Believe it or not--even at 272 lbs. I was embarrassed to be seen shopping in the plus size section of the department store. Who the heck was I kidding? Still cracks me up to think of it. I just don't get into the weight thing to this day. I don't understand people's obsession with other's weight. When people ask me how much I lost--I just tell them it's not something I discuss. Since my surgery I finally am able to talk with my husband honestly about my weight and the feelings I had being MO. My husband has gained some weight recently and I am always stunned that people frequently mention this to him. They appear to be more comfortable commenting on men's weight than women. His sister did it just the other night. What the heck are people thinking? I felt terrible for him.

you said even at a high weight you were embarrassed to be seen shopping in the plus dept, now that I am thinner. I am afraid when I shop the petites dept, that they will see the fat person inside and that I will be asked to leave. I am sure they are thinking "who does she think she's fooling?"

Hmm-honest to goodness Willow-I don't have that feeling in regular stores, but whenever I go in one of those smaller boutique type stores I am absolutely convinced they are gonna approach me and tell me I am in the wrong store.

That happened to me once---being directed to the larger section of the store. I quickly asked if I was not allowed to buy a birthday present for my size 2 sister and that I would take my business elsewhere. They practically followed me out of the store with apologies and it was quite clear to them the error of their customer service strategy.

I was a little cautious before surgery (waited until 1 week before to tell my grown children) because I knew I'd get alot of differing opinions. Once it was done, I was an open book. I'm thrilled since surgery and I tell anyone who asks; further, I'm not offended if someone asks me how much I've lost (maybe that's because I'm from the North and we're pretty blunt). The only people who ask are either thrilled for me or curious because they've got weight problems of their own. I even carry two pre-op surgery photographs with me in my purse so that people can see the enormous difference. I agree that the "eating less/exercise more" routine is deceptive. If it were that easy, I would have done it years ago. I lived way too long under a terrible burden of guilt over my lack of self-control to pile that kind of guilty burden on someone else just to preserve my privacy. By being very open about both the good and bad aspects of surgery, I've been available to support two others who have had surgery since me. Some people are supportive; others do the "I would never do that" routine, but that's okay. Different opinions are what makes the world go round. Julie 2/12/04 254/145

I would have loved to not tell people! But I am from a town of like 3000 people (hometown) (The town I currently live in, no-one cares)! And well everyone knew I had the surgery before I was out of surgery!!!! For me there was no point in hiding the fact, because everyone would know anyways~therefore making me look like a liar if I didn't fess up! Oh well lifes a beach! Take Care jesi