Exactly what are you trying to accomplish?

I have given this a little more thought...and have had a bit of an A-ha moment. For me, the difference between trying not to be fat vs. trying to be healthy is trying not to be fat is a passive approach...and perhaps not an approach at all. Trying to be healthy is about taking a proactive stance. Karen

Karen, That is a great observation. I also found the comment about self-awareness a few posts back interesting as well, as I am the queen of unawareness and didn't know why!! Marian

Are you being funny? Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

I am thread challenged...to whom are you asking the question? Karen

To the post above. I found it humorous that the person felt she lacked self-awareness and did not know why. It is akin to a discussion I was having with my son about some author and he said "You know, all of his works were written before they were published." Without hesitation I responded by saying "I would certainly hope so." Would it not be axiomatic to say that a person who lacks self-awareness would not know why? Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

that IS funny! Karen

Jay, Sentences with the word "not" to tend to make me do the opposite in life. No matter what the rest of the sentence says..... So I guess I would have to say that I identify with achieving and maintaining a healthier me. Its the positive way of thinking about my journey. I have been in the negative for far too long. I made a change in my life and the attitude had to change too! Yes its all about the presentation... My destination is unclear for the scale final number is unknown. Does the number really matter? I don't think so. Being able to do things in life that give me joy...that is what matters. And perhaps that is my destination....to feel the joy of life and to keep it with me always. Maybe I am close to that destination now. I feel alot of joy not always happy but there is alot of joy! When I was fatter (I still think of me as fat) there wasn't much joy! What great questions. Thanks Debbie

to me, attaining and maintaining a healthy weight and not being fat are one and the same. I eat very well and exercise regularly to be healthy and the not fat follows as a natural consequence of a healthier lifestyle. My BMI is still over 25 so perhaps fat it a matter of opinion, but I am definately not fat, ( I wear a size 8 petite / 4'11" tall) and am fairly muscular for my size. I didn't have much of a goal other than to be less than 200 pounds, and other than that decided to follow my Drs suggestion to see where my body settled in to a comfortable weight. (the best advice I have ever had other than the suggestion to get an RNY) the fact that I have stayed at this weight consistantly for almost 2 years with following a comfortably healthy lifestyle and exercising regularly tells me this is the right weight for me. I don't care to be in the idea of nothing is ever good enough or trying to get to and maintain a weight that is too low for me and live in a sense of constant failure because I am over X pounds or want to be a size 0 and can't get there.

Hi Jay! I am happy with who I am now... and I was happy at 287 too. I am healthy. Health was my only goal and being fat has not place in that. The obesity hurt my back, joints...etc. but mostly my confidence and self-esteem, since it effects the way you are perceived publicly. I cannot see myself ever repeating the cycle that rendered me obese. I am not the same person. Knowledge about this fact gives me comfort when I remember how easily the weight creeped up. I've grown up and face reality. I owe it to myself to remain on track. I am not doing plastics and really don't need to. I'm with JoAnn... it is not worth another surgery to have a flat 43 year old stomach. I figure.... what about my ass? Then I'll look at my boobs..then it's all over. My days of being looked at as a "trophy wife" have never occurred, so I'll continue just being a great mate for my husband, saggy butt and all. Life is gooooood! I am proud to be in your club. We are special and know what success feels like. I hope all goes well with your family. HUGS, Christina

J, Well, I'm coming in awfully late on this one But it's a good open ended question. Once I had committed to surgery, But while a Pre-Op still, My Goal was to "Not Be Fat Anymore!" I think there is a different approach for Those -Who have been Obese All of their Lives, -VS- Those -Who were normal once And Obesity came on later. Headed for the Goal of "Not Fat," Was primarily what I was after. I had just had Heart Surgery to correct A Life long problem, and actually, Already felt better than I had for my whole life. I had little to no co-morbidities (except GERD) But, I had witnessed generations of family members Suffer all of the ills that accompany Morbid Obesity. So, my goal before surgery was to be "Not Fat," mostly. Post-Op, I had really bad complications And immediately my "Goals" changed. At first my new goal was to "Not Die." This Goal slowly altered to- "Strive to be Healthy/Healthier." My "Goal weight" did figure into it But only as a "measuring device," Not the actual goal itself. I started at 385lbs. and was aiming to get to 185lbs And a BMI below 24.9! Just wanted to be "Normal" At least on paper. I made tha****er mark, but kept on going to 179lbs and a BMI of 23.6. I've been holding at this weight For over 7 months now. (Give or take a couple of pounds Depending on the time of day, My lowest so far was 176, Highest in the last 6 months- 183.) I do believe it's going to take some time To get used to this new body. Having been Obese as far back as I can remember Makes this a Daily new experience. I think if I had a memory or experience of Being relatively normal sized in my past The change would be more like a person Getting glasses after loosing nearly all of their sight Over a number of years. "Yes! That's What I remember!!" But for those who have never had this at all It's a little like seeing for the first time ever. It's a Whole new world. So I think my present "goal" It to hang on to this ferociously and never let it go, And that does mean, Striving to live healthier, Thus- Longer, Than would have been possible before. Unlike some, I am going for some Plastic Surgery. Now that I've had a "Taste," I want it ALL! More Muscle, More Stamina, Great Clothes, More Activity, More Speed, More Life, More, More, More!!! And to achieve it, I started out to have Less! Odd little Quasi-Paradox. Keep the Great Questions coming!!! Best Wishes- Dx