asking for help...kick me....
ok-this is me...i am 20 months out from my open rny--i had lost about 70# (needing to just lose 100) when my DH became quite ill last spring. my emotional/stress eating took over and i have regained 25 #. i am still able to squeeze into my 14's tho i had been close to getting into the 10's.
thank God, my DH survived and is ready to start a new chapter-including more surgery coming soon-life as we knew it has changed considerably.
i was walking everyday and had actually started to run; i was still losing and doing well- due to money i had not joined a gym or curves--then i fell back into the stuffmyfacewithanythingnottieddown mode- now-i am finding many days i am no longer grazing (YEA!) and i still know what i am sposed to do--
i have not had any pop/i do ocassionally chew gum just to keep my mouth busy/ i don't dump on a lot of things that i sure thought i would.
i am keeping up with my vitamins and calcium...my labs continue to be good-almost high range in some places! so i am not a total loss....
**********where i need help is this--please kick me in my butt--help me to re-motivate myself....would i maybe be better to go back to the beginning stages of my post wls days and do liquids??? get my butt back to moving-things have been good to just get up and go to work everyday-no time or money for a gym or "Y" membership-and now it's snowy and yucky-well starting-the stationary bike isn't cutting it....does anyone have some walking dvd's they would send me cheap???
*******************i basically need a swift kick in the a** and a big pep talk....***************
please tell me that i am not alone in this one....it has become so tuff to come to the boards and read of everyone's successes--i was so much on track i shoulda been there! and i know that my cir****tances were serious and i do thank God for allowing my DH to be here with me- and i know that we are not supposed to compare ourselves to anyone or anything-please help me to get refocused........and ,yes, i DO feel so much better even at this weight and i understand that it is numbers on the scale-but- i really need ,for my mental health, to get down farther.
thanks for listening...let the pep talks begin.
I wish I had some pearls of wisdom here for you, Margo. I feel for you and so understand the stress eating. I am 3.5 years out and this year in school (I am a teacher), I have been stressing out to the point that I have a tummy ache a lot of the time. It is not from eating...just aches cuz of the stress. I vowed to myself after having all the reconstructive surgery that I would never allow myself to gain again and I keep myself very focused on my food most of the time. Exercise really helps me relieve the stress and even if you only have a stationary bike...take it out (stress) on the bike and don't get the hand to mouth exercise. I know it is hard sometimes to get yourself back in the mode....look isn't that one of the reasons we resulted in having wls? But think about how good you felt when you were on track and feeling good and looking good. You really are not alone....there are many who struggle day in and day out and are not as far out as you. We are here to support you....and no we don't want to kick you....we want to motivate you to getting back to healthy eating and healthy habits. I do hope that things go well for you hubby also!...oh yeah and do not compare yourself to others....that gets you on a bad merry go round girl!!! So PEP PEP PEP....you can do it MARGO!!!!! 
Hi Margo! You came to the right place. Lots of people are down and up and down and up here. Thats just how 'we' are. You were down but are already on your way back up.
For me I try to do one day at a time. When I'm down I can't focus on a long term goal...even a week. I have to do it for just one day first.
I weigh myself every day. Yes, every single day. I know all the stuff about it being just a number but I love that number! I worked darn hard to see it and I don't want it to slide off to the left side again. That one thing along helps me keep on track.
When I'm down:
I focus on protien. No matter what I eat I try to make sure I get all my protien in during the day. Water too of course.
I utilize fitday.com and record everything I eat. It gives me an instant picture of how bad I've screwed up and I believe it helps me keep going the next day.
I'm only saying this because you asked for it!!
If you don't take good care of yourself and you gain more weight and feel worse and worse physically and emotionally, then just exactly WHO is going to take care of your husband should he need it?? You've GOT to take care of yourself FIRST so that you can be there for that man you married! If you take care of yourself first, you'll feel so much better and you know that it's true!
I think going back to basics is a splendid idea. Do a day or two of liquids and then add food back in slowly. Double check what's in your pantry and stop buying stuff you shouldn't be eating. Use Fitday to track your intake and up your protein and water. Make a PLAN to exercise every single day, even if it's only 15 minutes!!!!
You can do this! I KNOW you can!!!!!!!!!! Now get going and consider yourself kicked (and pepped!)
Jan
Below is a reply that I wrote to another similar post. Hope it is helpful to you. BTW, others on the WLS grads board may have read this...so sorry to bore you with my "stuff." As mentioned, I am hardly the model post op (although recently I was asked if I was "that" petite model...petite, model and me in the same sentence gave me great pause...and delight!), my gig works for me...maybe it will work for you?!
This is what works for me...and BTW, what works for me may not work for the next person. But it is always helpful to share and know that you don't have to freak out because you have free will to make choices and you are evolved enough to foster your self awareness and take responsibility for both challenges and successes.
I am almost in the third month of my 5th year post op. I am hardly the model WLS post op, but I have found what works for me. And by the way what works for me may not work for the next person. But here goes...I had the good fortune of freaking out about 6 weeks post op when I was standing in the grocery store faced with all sorts of foods and realized that the only thing different about me was that I had a surgically altered smaller stomach. I was still the same person with the same food issues, the same habits and the same thoughts and feelings...how the hell was I supposed to do this and be successful? It was in the store, with tears running down my face that I had an epiphany, I had to replace my old negative behaviors (closet eating, eating mindlessly, not planning, lack of total awareness) with new and positive behaviors. I had to replace the old negative "tapes" of worthlessness, too fat to change, etc. with new and positive messages that I could tell myself and believe and live.
It was then that I started studying behavior modification which is really just about changing behaviors. Sounds simple...it ain't. But I'll make it easy for you and I will share some of my top learned new behaviors...try them out if you are interested.
1. Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail. Make a plan for the week (or a few days) for what you will eat and have the food on hand to prepare, take with you, etc. Do not wait until the last minute to shop for your plan or shop while you are hungry. Stick to your plan!
2. Keep a food log. This is probably the single most difficult task for me because I hate doing it. I have done it for over 4 years. Every day. I write down when I ate (time) how much (quantity/calories) how hungry I was before (hunger level awareness) and satisfaction (knowing when I am satisfied vs. full/stuffed). I don't lie. Even when I eat crap, and I do, I know how much I ate and the calories I gave up to do it (so I make a conscious choice and take full responsibilty). I am a calorie counter, have no clue about protein grams, or carbs or any of that other stuff.
3. Drink Water. I drink 64+ oz, and a minimum of 4 cups of decaf green tea which seems to settle my stomach...I have a tendency toward gastritis.
4. EATING IS AN ACTIVITY UNTO ITSELF!!! No reading, driving, tv watching, talking on phone when eating!!! IF YOU EAT AND DO SOMETHING ELSE, LIKELY YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE FOOD OR HOW MUCH OR HOW IT TASTES OR HOW SATISFIED YOU ARE AND YOU WILL EAT TOO MUCH!!!
5. Never eat standing up. Animals eat standing up. People eat sitting down.
6. Don't serve family style. Plate your food (and if your family can take it, plate theirs too). Family style encourages large portions. If you have to get up to get more food you are likely to ask yourself if you really want it.
7. Before you eat, ask yourself on a scale of 1 (not hungry) to 5 (starving) "How hungry am I?" My kids have been doing this since they were 5 and 7...it was very funny to hear my son when he was 5 say...I am just a 2, I don't really want that fruit roll up!
8. Exercise. Minimum of 30 minutes/daily (or 6 of 7 days) of heart pumping, ass moving exercise. The cardiac benefits are wonderful, the self-esteem benefits are immeasurable.
9. Make peace with your scale. This is controversial! I weigh myself every day. It keeps me honest. I take full responsibility for both my losses and gains. Not sure this is for everyone, but it definitely works for me!
10. Never say never. I remember thinking that I can never have this food or that drink blah, blah, blah. Guess what? I can eat it all, and probably lots of it! I don't dump from sugar, I can eat and drink, I can eat like everyone else. Also, I EAT DESSERT EVERY NIGHT. Not a lot...but a portion (1/2 C low fat ice cream, 1 cookie). I do this because when I was MO if I denied myself, I would look for it later and eat everything sweet to try to satisfy my craving.
10+ Because 11 would be too much...NO EATING AFTER 8:00 PM. Sorry. Live with it. It works.
So, there it is, my very long reply. Take it or leave it. Just know that you will continue to be successful if you find a lifestyle that is healthy, comfortable, reasonable and works for you.
Continued success in the best of health!
Karen
Kudos. You figured out that WLS was going to cost you something. You can never again eat w/o thinking. Eating must be a rational activity and not simply an irrational one.
All too often, many obese folks spend inordinate amounts of time thinking about food when they are not eating. It consumes much of the cognitive faculties. Ironically enough, when the time comes to actually eat, they give no thought whatsoever to what they are doing.
Too many people want WLS to make them thin. Once they arrive at that point (assuming they make even that far) they want to go back to normal, w/o given the slightest thought as to consequences of their normalcy.
Clausewitz would be so proud of you.....
Nowhere Man/PH/Jay
If your are not prepared to wage Total War, then you do no go to war. if you do not have a plan, then you do not engage the enemy. When I decided to invoke a nuclear strategy for weight loss, it was time to invoke von Clausewitz and his notion of Total War. Nothing is too sacred, nothing reserved, nothing withheld. All too many folks wanting to be thin, But ...............
What struck me regarding your response up thread is the forethought and planning that is evident. How often do you meet a person who is accidentally thin? By the same token, how many plan to be fat? People who live unthinking lives, who hope to stumble over success are seldom rewarded. To successful at WLS, one must do more than qualify for surgery, much more.
I guess I could have invoke Georg Gedamer and suggest that people give themselves over to the game? Spielentheorische, ja?
NowhereMan/PH/Jay
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