Why is it!!!

That I use to enjoy doing stuff for the Holiday's so much, I use to want to do so many thing's.But now thing's are different I feel more like I have to, almost like I am obligated to,I don't look forward to these thing's anymore when it come's down to it and I am getting ready to prepare thing's I feel more like UGHHHHHHHHh!!!!Why is this and is there anyway I can change this state of mind,any suggestion's are more then appreciated!!!!(Thanks) Candi

Candi, I really think it's the "must" thing. We don't do things because we "want" to we do them because we "must." That makes it not fun. A few years ago, when I went back to school, I just couldn't do some of the things that I thought I should have - sending Christmas cards, etc... So I let myself off the hook for a couple of years. Then I thought about it - did I really want to do this anymore? The answer was, for most, no. I either saw most people on my list or I hadn't seen them in years and my card wasn't making much of a difference one way or the other (no note, no pictures). Anyway, I started to send cards with personalized notes to a handful of people and that was fun and I still enjoy it. But the "must" of sending cards is gone. Change your state of mind - who says you have to do certain things? Will people really freak out? Or will they cope with the change? If someone asks you why don't you do this anymore, explain that it didn't feel enjoyable, just like a chore and you decided that it wasn't a gift anymore, just an obligation. I think people will be so relieved that you've been honest and that someone else feels the same way that they do, it will open up a dialogue instead of a confrontation. Holidays are about family and joy, not being tired and grumpy. I wish you the best of holidays filled with joy, happiness and contentment. Good luck with your new venture! Judi C

I just finished reading "Unplug the Christmas Machine." There is a LOT of insight into why we get overwhelmed during the holidays in that book. One thing that makes it hard is the fact that women are usually the "Christmas Magicians." Most of the responsibility -- NOT ALL -- for cooking, baking, wrapping, shopping, social events, etc. falls on women. I highly recommend the book as it not only outlines the same feelings you are talking about but gives some helpful insight into how to get back to a simplier and more enjoyable holiday season. DeeDee

I was feeling this way, and decided last year to sort out what I want to do from what I think I should do and simplified a LOT. for example I love making cookies. so I made them and gave them away to people I love for christmas presents. I used some refrigerated sugar cookie dough to make cut out cookies with the grandkids rather than from scratch. they loved it & didn't care about the difference all they cared was that they were playing with sprinkles and frosting (from a can no less) I put up way less decorations and found I preferrred the simplicity of a few things more than 25 years worth of stuff jammed everywhere. It was a break from tradition, but no one missed the excess. I found that people love experiences sometimes more than a material possesion, so less purchases and more playtime. I did not care to shop for my DH 17!!!! family members so I did not. I told him if he wanted presents for each and every sibling & their souse and nephews, he would have to figure it out on his own. ( picture this, pocket knives for nephews ) don't be afraid to pick and choose and do only the things you truely enjoy. another suggestion, if you can afford it get a cleaning service to come in a couple times during the holiday season. It is amazing to have the hours to enjoy life a little rather than drudgery.

Willow...great insight. I did this also. The one thing I found that I really and truly enjoy, is my tree. I am anxious now to get it up and decorated. Doug sez not till the day after Thanksgiving.....he just doesn't understand. I love it. And in my condo now....it is in front of the sliding glass doors....and it faces the drive. So anyone coming into the condo units can see my tree lit like a beacon. I also like to give baskets of homemade stuff to special friends....and I'm doing less home made stuff and more healthy stuff. I tend to go off the deep end....with cooking and baking and planning and decorating...and I also had to 'back off' some for my own sanity. I have no children....but have a really special 'friend' who is not quite 3, so we have him over early on Christmas Eve....and its the highlight for us. Cleaning service....great idea....but should I be embarrassed that I have a little condo....don't really work...and should be able to keep it clean....hehe? Hugs Charlie