Am I getting cynical?

I understand totally! Unfortunately, no matter how much education you provide for people, some just aren't going to get it. We have a very good education program and some still ignore the rules. Our program requires that they must attend at least 6 support meetings before surgery -- and have sign off on a card. The first meeting they attend is strictly education -- after that it's their choice of education meetings or general support. I would make it a requirement that at least 3 of those meetings be education meetings. I also would have a test they have to take and pass before surgery. But that's just me -- probably won't happen. I, too, was one of those *****searched for 2 years before surgery, so I knew what to do and not do before I even attended the first education class. Deb

I have read and read and read all these complaints about ill informed newbies and finally have to say my thoughts. I was very well educated starting months before my surgery however, when the time came and I was a post op it seemed different. The information was gone or I didn't feel so confident If we all have already forgotten the worries we had about our first experiences with food,stalls, slow losers,exercise,meds blah blah blah then I'am scared sometimes I feel as though graduates have became holier than thou. I agree that many of the newbie questions seem stupid but if we keep this attitude up then an important question is not going to get asked for fear of it being "stupid" can we please step down from the graduate status for a moment and walk down memory lane the old fears might need to be revisited. I asked a stupid question about tomatoes just a couple of months ago because I am racking my brain trying to figure out why my weight loss stopped at 6 months I sure am glad noone made me feel uninformed. It's not any easier than it was preop to just shut up and diet when the weight starts creeping back or never leaves for that matter so lets ease up please. With love and respect Tina

Well, if you've made it more than five years post-op without blowing a gasket before, that's pretty darned impressive. Sometimes it pays to just ~take a break~ from the MB. Sometimes, I try to remember there are loads of people reading those same threads who aren't necessarily posting in them, but *are* learning from others' mistakes, so, treating the original post as if it is worthy of serious response is not a complete waste of time. Perhaps this is a vain hope but there it is. Sometimes, I look at those posts and I feel like I can still hear that same inner voice in me that will never gave up the fantasy of being able to eat all that crazy stuff and get/keep the weight under control. I hate that voice. When I see it in print on the MB sometimes I can't keep myself from wanting to shout it down. So I'm not just frustrated at the poster, I'm frustrated at the disease (or habit, or addiction, or whatever label fits best). It just never lets go and that, in itself, can be very infuriating.

It's several different things. How prepared are they, how competant is the aftercare, and what--really--were/are their expectations. Where do you consider the surgery a success? I have several teeth nashing comments--one in paricular is "How soon can I eat normal?" Ummm---gee----how about NEVER. Ok, so let me qualify that. What is normal? The crazy, comulsive out of control binge eating that got me to almost 370#s? Or the way people eat around me---they are all watching what they eat. Some have allergies, some have other reasons for diet restrictions. This is life. So I have foods that I will never put through my lips. Not everyone who has WLS is gonna stay away from the same foods, or the same amounts. It's personal choice, making decisions and just getting on with the gift WLS gave me---life. The choices I have made to maintain a strict no to sugar really gives me the freedom to never have to worry about it. I know me--I know my brain. An inch becomes a mile. There is no in between. But this is me--we all have to find and accept ourselves, and understand the decisions WLS gives us. As far as expectations--what are they? What is a goal. A number someone throws at you? Or the real reason you had a life altering surgery? If I never make it to a size 6 or a size 10---am I a failure? TO who? I am a success. I reached goal a long time ago. MY GOAL. The one I wanted when I made the decision to have WLS. The one my surgeon had in mind. It was my health. Now I'm not stupid---I like the looking good part. I like being smaller than I was the day I got married 26 years ago. I like being smaller than my hubby. I like having maintined and not gained in 3 years. I've lost over 160 pounds since surgery, I wear a 16, from a 50 plus (5X). Ok, so here again it's personal choice, decisions on where we want to be. Go for it all, what ever the all is. But know yourself, know what you're going for. Ok, wow--see what happens when I don't post often. I rant. I never spew on the other board---I'm not the role model they want to hear from. I'm just me---going day by day---not finding it that hard. Love ya! Bek

I think you would be a great role model. The fact that you like yourself despite a number on a scale or a size on a tag, you still are proud of your accomplishments (and you should be), you still see yourself as a success, and it's too mad more post ops don't have your attitude. Thanks for a great post - you changed some of my thinking today, and I appreciate it. Myrtle.

you voiced my frustrations so well. I have said the sam thing over and over and of course, when I say it, I get flammed for "being such a rude person". honey, if they only knew what I really want to say at times like that. Sometimes I just want to yell, "that is so stupid." I am so tired of all the ignorance that goes on over "there' that I hardly ever even go there anymore. The new YorkieTalk board I am on now is so much more interesting. And no, I haven't forgotten where I came from. No one can ever say they have ever seen me post some of these questions I see ever day. Those questions are just plain dumb and anyone with half a pea brain knows you don't eat french fries on your third day out.(among other things) I am so grateful I was well educated by my surgeons group. I am also fortunate that I was smart enough to do my own research. I knew exactly what I was getting into.

My problem with pre-ops and newly-ops are the questions like WHEN can I drink many alcoholic drinks and tell me HOW I can drink soda, instead of asking if it's ok to do so. They don't want to hear that there are some things they may have to give up, they just want to be told how to get around the rules. Actually it doesn't make me mad so much as sad. These are the people who are going to be actively heading toward gaining their weight back and they will have gone through all this for nothing! As for surgeons' instructions and patients learning, well, I have a friend who is a diabetic and she thought that eating chocolate-covered graham crackers would be a good thing when she was about 2 weeks out post-op!! Did the surgeon neglect to tell her that crackers aren't on her plan at 2 weeks and to avoid chocolate?? Of course he did, but the woman is a NURSE and knows perfectly well what she should eat and what to avoid. She chooses to make these poor choices and she's continued this trend since that time. She's less than a year out and eats sugar and/or chocolate on an almost daily basis. To each his own, I guess! I'm responsible for my OWN actions and believe me, I have my own issues. I'm a grazer, but at least I track what I eat and control my caloric intake. Jan