Am I getting cynical?

Is it just me or what? I am so frustrated with pre ops and newly out post ops I want to scream? Are they totally unprepared for this surgery and changing their lives or are the doctor's not doing their jobs and giving post ops the information they need when they go home? Some of these posts are giving me a headache!! "How big is a sip", "when can I have pancakes" (that was my personal favorite), "my doctor told me to be on liquids but i'm hungry so I had some regular food", this one was on another board I'm on today -"it was my first day of solid food so I tried spaghetti noodles and my stomach hurt", and the usual "I haven't lost any weight this week and I'm two weeks out, what am I doing wrong?" I just want to scream!!!!!! "I've regained some weight what do I do" I just want to say go on a diet and lose it. It's pretty easy. The other favorite is "I have a cold, what should I take?" I just want to type in cold medicine and leave it at that. I know i'm going off the deep end here. Please tell me it's just a bad week and it's not me. I went into this surgery knowing I'd have to change my eating habits FOREVER. I assumed right after surgery I wouldn't be eating steak and baked potatoes and I knew I'd have to change my eating habits and get my head screwed on straight for this to work. Why is it any different for these new post ops? (I feel old right now reading that!-lol) The last one I read before coming over here was -"I'm 6 months out and just found out I'm pregnant." What part of "two forms of birth control for the first 18-24 months don't they hear??? Fertility goes way up in the first year - do they not know that, or read it when it's on here 800 times a week?? I'm sorry I'm ranting - I knew you guys would understand. We should write a book on posties stupidiest questions - most are honest questions, asked because they don't know - but come on - you have to know that your first real meal two weeks out shouldn't be spaghetti right? I'm done now- Myrtle.

Well, I think that you should be grateful that you are fully informed and were totally prepared for your WLS. You're free to skip over any post(s) or not visit the main board at all. You have choices. You certainly can't change them - unless you'd like to volunteer your time and expertise in educating them.

I'm nowhere near as post-op as you are; and, most days I want to pull my hair out. I think a lot of it is surgeons not educating their patients (cut-n-runs) and a lot is pre-ops and new post-ops 'ignoring' what they don't want to hear. My personal 'favorites' are the birth control pills..."I was told (on OH) that I malabsorb the Pill (with RNY); but, my doctor never told me any different, so I'm sticking with them." Most of the members of OH that spread the information about malabsorbing the Pill are the ones that got pregnant unexpectedly...ummm...duh! I must say that you do hide your impatience quite well...your answers are always polite, to the point and seemingly patient. ~~Sherry

I scan posts to see what is of interest to me. I don't read all of them, and I don't reply to all of them that I do read. It's funny you should ask about the surgeons informing their patients before hand...I wasn't, I had to learn on my own and teach my surgeon. I was his #2 wls person. I can understand the questions that these new pre-ops have and understand why they post them, but like I said before, I scan them over and see what is of interest to ME and which ones I can help Darlene

My surgeon informed me very well, with many many classes; my friend's surgeon told him NOTHING; and my girlfriend who learned it all like me ignored everything. My male friend had to learn from me and I worry about the vitamins and minerals he is not taking, and my "ignoring friend" gained ALL of her weight back. I think a lot has to do with what it is you want and how hard you want to work at it. It was not easy for me, and I know it is not easy for anyone. But, having said that, I think we must want it REALLY bad in order to work at it each and every day. I only say this because I see that so many are gaining their weight back and many gaining it all back. That is scary enough to make you think 50 times before you stick something in your mouth. I tried not to post silly questions when I was a newbie, because I know we all had many silly questions in the beginning, but eating spaghetti on week 2, on month 2, or even on year 1, was the furthest thing from my mind. Missy

thast because the surgeon dont prepare these pre -ops.. my opion is that we all need nutrion classsess and we all need the shrink before surgery.. its a shame at these drs who dont do what there supposed to do.. the way i feel lately is that gastric by pass is becoming a joke with some surgeons there in it for the money and really dont seem to care about post -op nutrion i am thankful that my surgeon reguired nutrion classsess before and after and had the shrink thing going on.. hopefully some surgeons will get on track with there patients not just do the surgerry and let them get on with life

I agree with you totally. There are more and more doctors out there starting to do the surgery for the money and don't educate their patients or see to it they are prepared to eat right after surgery. I also agree with the shrink part before hand. Obviously we have issues with food or we wouldn't have been so overweight to need the surgery. We need nutrition classes and help getting our heads fixed to go along with getting our stomachs fixed. I too had a good doctor and for that am very thankful. Hopefully these doctors will get with the program and start doing right by their patients and then they won't have silly questions. By the way, I checked out your new pictures. You have some really beautiful pictures in there. Congrats on your success. You are truly an inspiration. Melissa Taylor 277/136 -141 pounds

Some people are not going to learn, never going to learn or some are incapable of learning. I rant on about the characteristics of being a 'candidate for success' and not simply 'qualifying for surgery'. It might appear that I am an elitist, but I simply want to see people succeed in this. For many people the problem of obesity is visible from the neck down, but the locus of the problem is from the neck up. They want to the solution to be from the neck down, and are desperate to avoid changing anything from the neck up. They want to live a helter-skelter life, reacting to everything, living without thinking about the implications of their reactions (it would be too generous to call them decisions) while still being a perky size 6. They want to live their normal life, but want to be a size inconsistent with their genetics and lifestyle. Telling them otherwise is simply going to annoy them. For that reason, I avoid the main board. Few there are interested in the truth, having lived a life filled with fairy tales. Once they are approved, many start stuffing themselves awaiting the magic to occur. When WLS fails them (they almost always assume it was the WLS that did not work), they will start looking for the next handful of magic beans, while assuaging their angst by stuffing themselves. Are you becoming cynical? Nope, but you have to careful where you choose to be honest. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay "The truth? You can't handle the truth!"

A Few Good Men...love that movie!

Myrtle, I do understand your frustration and have shared it at times. I utter a loud DUH! after reading many posts, but I've also come to realize a few truths: **Many MO's have been in denial about so many things for so long, that recognizing what is needed for WLS isn't easy or obvious, even if the information has been presented to them. I used to coach unwed mothers in preparation for child birth and through it. I was a good teacher, and these girls were required to come every week for 10 weeks in order to stay in the program, which had lots of side benefits. Yet, when the event arrived, you would have thought at least half of them didn't even know that when you are pregnant you eventually have to actually give birth. They simply didn't make the strong connection, and I'm sure it was denial. **Many have no idea how to deal with managing food, and just telling someone doesn't mean they'll figure it out--they have to be taught and retaught. **Many are reaching out not as much for answers to the apparent question, but simply for a lifeline, because the WLS journey can be very scary and uncertain. Asking any old question is simply a way of connecting. ** Many have a really warped sense of nutrition, or absolutely no knowledge of eat being the fact that food is a key element of nutrition. **Many people are looking for a panacea, a quick fix, something that requires no effort from them because they are physically and emotionally tired after being MO for so long. Anything more just requires too much energy. **The main truth I've learned: This journey is very personal and quite different from person to person for hundreds of reasons, and we couldn't begin to understand what, essentially, a stranger may really be thinking or dealing with when they post something here. I believe we can reach out with compassion even when we think they don't have a functioning brain cell in their heads. Rather than dictating a resolution to their problem/question, or chastising them, we can tell them our experiences, tricks, etc. and let them decide what to take from that. If we can't, and I surely am not implying that you have answered any other way--this is just a general observation--then we should not respond. No one has yet appointed any of us as the supreme WLS patient who knows all! Thanks for being honest with us; I think most of us have thought this more than a time or two. Ann