Wed.Food For Thought

November 2nd, Fear of Giving It is often the fear of rejection which makes us affraid to give of ourselves. The person who is reluctant to share at a meeting may be holding back because of this fear. To share is to reveal who we are and where we are. If we feel inadequate, we do not want to expose this imagined inadequacy to other people. If our self-image is too grand and inflated, we cannot possibly live up to it in reality. Expecting ourselves to be perfect sets us up for frustration and fear, since we know deep down that we do not measure up to our image of perfection. With humility comes the wilingness to give of what we have and what we are right now, without waiting until we are more eloquent or more accomplished. What we have to share is what someone else needs to receive. By foccusing more on the needs of others and less on the imaginary concept of ourselves which is our ego, we learn to overcome our fear of giving. What we have to give now is enough for today. May I not be afraid to give. Readings by Hazelden Meditaion Series

This is so true. I grew up trying to live up to an image of perfection set forth by my parents which was mostly appearance oriented. My food issures stem from this. I did everything necessary to maintain a certain appearance and weight. This led to my food addiction, binging and hiding to eat. It was the fear of admitting failure that kept me from getting the help I needed and thus I eventually ballooned to 277 pounds. It was admitting and sharing that brought me to this surgery that has saved my life. I have gotten the help I needed and recovering a little every day. I now do not hold myself up to such an unachievable standard. Imperfection is okay. I forgive myself when I slip and move right on forward. Thanks for sharing, Melissa

Hi Melissa! I too expect perfection of myself and am the hardest on myself. I need to give myself more room to be imperfect (for that is truly what I am) and be quick to forgive myself when I slip. I beat myself like there is no mercy deserved. At times I can forgive and move forward, but it's not that often. I just strated back last night attending OA meetings in hopes that it will help me to see myself in a different light and get past this emotional eating. Thank you for your response. I wish you much continued success. Jeannie

Good luck with your OA meetings. I wish we had one near here to attend, but we do not. So for now I am on my own with my self help books and much support of some really good friends and family. We have a good bariatric support group here locally, and I have made a very best friend in that group and she has helped me in my journey so much as I hope I have helped her too. So it really helps to have someone to depend on. We will win this battle because we acknowledge there is one to win and give it our all daily. The healing will come in time and hopefully the fight will be a little easier. Melissa