Intimacy Question - may be too graphic...

I don't know if they will let this post or not, but I have a question that's a big issue for me. Since my weight loss, (84 lbs) my husband and I can get closer to each other than ever before. But I have one problem. By getting close, that also means (here's where it gets graphic) when we make love, I experience pain that I never had before because I don't have that roll of blubber on my stomach now to keep the depth (if you know what I mean) from being more than I can handle. Our sex life has gotten better because I feel more confident about my body, but this also excites my hubby more too. For me to have to keep him from going too deep to avoid pain, puts a damper on things. Any suggestions? We've tried other positions, but that doesn't help. Am I doomed to have this problem or does anyone know of a solution? I hope I haven't embarrassed anyone here. It's just that this is the ONLY change from WLS that I DON'T like. Thanks for any input.

First of all, there is a board for sex questions and the folk there may be better able to help you, especially since I know NOTHING about sex, even though I was married (don't ask), but.... this is probably the stupidist idea ever, but if you don't want to do other positions, then what about putting a small pillow between you that would substitute for where your tummy used to be? Would that work? Or is that as dumb as can be? I guess it wouldn't hurt to try it at least! Jan

TRUST me when I tell you I FEEL YOUR PAIN! OUCH! I can email ya some of my suggestions if ya want. If so, email me!

Hmm--somebody from Florida posted this same question a while ago and what I remember is that people sent her to the Sex board. I believe she was saying she thought the problem was caused because her hubby was so well endowedI believe that most of the responses on the sex board went something in the way of--hey lucky guy. Here is my take--sex isn't supposed to hurt and pain during intercourse can be related to some health issues for women. If I was you--I would visit my gyn and get an exam.

Hey PJ, First, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, or as though you've embarrassed anyone. Its a valid question. Some of us may respond as "dayam, wish I had that problem" LOL.. but seriously, I would first consult my GYN. It may not be due to the size of your hubby and the fact that he can get deeper penetration, it may be a very real issue with you, and your insides. Get a check out, make sure everything is all good, first and foremost. With loss of weight, things can shift. If things medically are ok, try different positions that will let YOU be more in control of the depth. Best of luck Wendy

I am by no means a grad yet I wanted to see what you guys talk about. Anyways, I called my GYN today to get an appt as I had intercourse the other night and was in serious pain. My friend thought it was my arthritis being exacerbated by the thrusting. I had bad arthritis before surgery and lately it is so much better, but this action could have made it worse again. Definitely go see your GYN. Karen

I went GYN route....found out the endometrosis and fib. tumors have grown. So there is my problem....Lupron Depot to shrink it....and I should be good to go soon! Not as painful since the treatment. Debbie

Same problem here... check w/ your doc as there can be various medical causes. My problem was that as I've aged (and had three kids), my uterus dropped some and the pain was from hitting the cervix. I'll e-mail you (from home... don't want this on my work computer!) about a couple of things that help. Linda

HI..I know Im late answering this question but i just found this board so Ill give an opinion here..maybe you will feel better ! I too, have this problem and did not have it before surgery !! i have had everything checked out and its not due to any gyno problem or anything else..it is just because we are thinner and well, theres no cushion for the pushin so to speak anymore !! I too have to remind hubby of this and he accomodates me with just a gentle reminder that all that padding is no longer there! Just wanted you to know that no your not the only one with the issue of this.