Perspective on Weight Gain

I know I've posted something similar to this in the past but here it is again. I am almost 4 years post-op and I have gained about 20 or 25 pounds. Well, since June, I've lost about 18 or it and that is a good thing. Here's what has occured to me recently. Almost 4 years ago, I started a program to lose weight and I lost 180 pounds. And after three years I gained some back. Big deal. I'm human and wls is a tool not a cure. I still have a perverted relationship with food and I have to be aware of what I'm eating and why I'm eating it. WLS didn't cure my food addictions and it did not cure me of using food for comfort. I have to recognized that I do have an eating disorder and like an alcoholic, I'm in remission - not cured. Now here's the "lightbulb" part. So I gained some weight. Well, before WLS I had done every diet imaginable and I never lost as much as I did with the surgery - and I always gained all of it plus more back when I started eating what I considered "normally" again. Well, this time, I strayed from my good eating habits and I started gaining. But this time, I caught myself before it got totally out of hand and started trying to do something about it. It's not easy - it has taken a lot of hard, dedicated work to shed those 18 pounds and I still want to lose another 12. But gaining that weight doesn't make me a bad person and it doesn't make me a failure. It doesn't mean that my surgery wasn't successful - it was and is. My health is great except for the arthritis which the weight aggravates but doesn't cause. I have a friend who gained 15 pounds back and has gone into a deep depression - she is miserable and has returned to the self-loathing she suffered from before surgery. She stays home all day taking care of a grand child and bakes cookies every day (and eats them). Her weight gaine was caused from inactiving brought on my a shattered leg - and months of surgery and rehab - and continuing constant pain. But she has let it control her life - she has changed from being an outgoing, bubbly person to almost a recluse - she isn't even accepting email from friends now. It breaks my heart to see this happening to her - she is a victim of osteoporosis and a bad fall - and has let it turn her into a mental and emotional invalid. So, please, if you are struggling with weight gain, find a way to exercise, and start eating right - keep a food diary of what you eat and when - what mood are you in when you eat between meals - are you physically hungry or are you "treating" some ill (mood or otherwise). I know that I tend to eat when I'm in bad pain - not that the food helps the pain but it comforts me emotionally. I suggest weighing three times a week and measuring once a month. Exercise if you possibly can - and not just walking. I have always been the world's biggest couch potato and now, I'm turning into an exercise freak. My apartment complex just recently opend a fitness center and I'm there every day - I missed Friday and Saturday because I was sick with an abcessed tooth and just couldn't make myself go - and I was miserable. I was back today and feel so much better because of it. So, if you've gained few pounds, get back to work and take it off but don't let it get the best of you - you are not a failure and there is no reason to be ashamed. Patty

Thanks for your Posts Patty! It's great to hear from a "BTDT." (Been There, Done That!) Here's to your speedy recovery from your Knee replacement in November Hopefully you'll enter the New Year Without the pain! Best Wishes- Dx

Thanks so much Dx. I will be off work from November18 til January 2. The New Year won't be painless but I'll be well on my way. I have gone through this before and it takes about three or four months to get off pain medication. Unlike WLS, this is a "BAD" surgery. I am really looking forward to being back to some sense of normalcy physically. I have been using a cane for support for over two years and I'm ready to pitch it. Patty

Excellent post! I've been going to therapy to deal with my "eating issues". I've managed to figure out why I eat but I am still struggling with controlling it. My therapist had me keep a journal. When she read it, she said I wrote like a fat person. And I needed to write and think like a thin person. So I tried that and promptly gained 4 pounds! Back to thinking like a fat person. At least I can almost keep it in check. But my lightbulb moment was when she asked me why I was so hard on myself when I fell off the wagon. She asked me if I was hard on my friends when they ate something they shouldn't. My answer of course, was no. She asked me why, then am I so hard on myself? I've thought about that and decided that she is right. So what if I eat a cookie? Just don't eat another one. In the old days, my mindset would have been, okay, you went off your diet by eating that cookie, so since you've already blown it, eat some more cookies. I'm trying really hard not to be so hard on myself. I don't have the answer. Only more questions. But this I know, while my surgeon fixed my stomach, it's up to me to fix my mind. I asked a thin friend how she thinks about food. Her answer was that she eats whatever she wants but only a few bites. She always leaves food on her plate. So much for all the starving kids in Africa, huh? For me, food is my comfort. It fills me. But more than the physical sensation of being full, the taste, texture, and smell fill me in a different way. My AH HA moment in therapy was that in my childhood, mealtimes were the most pleasant time for me. My parents actually paid attention to me. Not much otherwise. So meals became my comfort. I equate food with the need for attention. So at least I understand the why. All any of us can do is try to each hour, make the smart decisions about what we put in our mouths. There is no magic bullet. Damn! Forums like this at least let us know we are not in this fight by ourselves. If we were on the main board, everyone thinking of having surgery would be thinking twice after reading of our struggles! At least here, we can be open and honest with the food issues we still face. I feel really stongly that all bariatric programs need to address these "issues" before surgery. It you don't, the chance to regain is big. I think we all need to remember to make good choices based on how our body reacts to different foods and to not be too hard on ourselves when we make a poor choice. Just move on and make better ones. And keep posting because we are all in the same boat! I know it helps me tremendously to know I'm not the only one facing these food demons! Lyn 262/148/142 (I may never get to goal without PS! Waiting for denial so I can write my appeal)

excellent points, there are so many fabulous people on this site tha I am in awe. Y fell down, picked yourself back up abd dusted yourself off and got on with doing the right things. With your attitude you are definatley a success.

thanks Patty, I am in the place you are speaking of right now, no I am not depressed but I am an obese person in remission and know that is right where I could easily find myself. I have developed poor habits over that past four months but am still able to "maintain". thnx again for those encouraging words.

See!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew you would find a lot of good info here!!!!!!!!!! This board is a little slow at times but we will always try to help you in your struggles. If you have time today, scroll thru a few days posts. You will see yourself over and over again. HUGSSSSSS Delores