what is up with with main board

I am about to give up on the Main board! I like to go and scan the posts there but I find myself going less and less often and its because of people like the one in the post here. What does she want? all nice only replies??? Here is the post 2 1/2 weeks post op, what can I eat???? > >Can I eat mashed potato's? I had some chicken noodle soup the other day and > >it stayed down. I also had a little oatmeal yesterday.I was told to eat on > >a time table,so what does that mean? How many times a day can I eat,and how > >much do I eat? I dont want to streach my pouch, HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH? OH, > >and what about drinking. Do I still have to wait 15 minutes before sipping? > >Any help please? MY REPLY 2 1/2 weeks post op, what can I eat???? > >um, i dont want to sound harsh but you should have learned about this > >before your surgery! does you doctor have a diet plan! do you have a > >dietition! I am 18 months out and STILL wait at least 30 minutes to drink > >after eating. Her reply via e-mail > >Thanks for the "Help" but that is not what I was asking... I know that you > >need to wait 30 minutes to drink after eating .. what I was asking was if I > >needed to wait 15 minutes between sipping. Please don't presume what I did > >or didn't learn before surgery ...this forum is suppose to be for questions > >that I have since surgery for help not bitterness or snotty comments. My reply to here via E-mail Jenny, if you will read your own post you will see why I said what I did! > it sounded like you had no idea what you were allowed to eat and you asked > "Do I still have to wait 15 minutes before sipping?" you said BEFORE > sipping! her reply to me via e-mail. If it sounded like that -well sorry you thought that. But my whole point of responding to you was because instead of you responding in a nice helpful manner you responded in a negative manner --no matter how you took it you still were not right in the way that you did it- never assume that you know anything about a person - if someone "sounds like they don't know what they are talking about" you are assuming -and that should be your clue to be a nice person and help instead of being mean. That's all. I DID not reply again, i just give up... to me she sounded like she had no idea what was going on with her eating plan... Donna > >

maybe she needs the pouch pal that was on sale a while ago ..i doint understand it either ..maybe today the surgeons dont have nutrion classess like my surgeon did and still requires.. sad aint it?

lol that is almost too funny! Donna

I believe your reply was valid - there are so many newbies that think this is the magic answer and they can still eat what they want. I love the spaghetti'o questions " i can only eat spaghettio's and i'm 2 weeks out - that's ok though right?" Drives me crazy. I am constantly amazed at the number of doctor's doing this and sending patients home with the advice-do what you can and eat soft foods then anything you can tolerate. WHAT?? What kind of post op advice is that? I think too many docs are doing this and too many people are going to them because the waiting list is short. Also - not strict enough psych exams. Just my opiinion. Sorry you received an email that wasn't too nice. You tried to help. Some people just hear what they want to. I've given up on trying to help some of them.

Myrtle, did you answer her post also? I think I saw your post and was going to ask but just thought I would post here instead. I really really wish people would check out what they actually wrote before posting. Donna

Consider this a possible reason for the current state of the Main Board: we are not there. Over the last year, there have been a large number of new boards created, each siphoning off x number of members. This leaves the MB the primary domain of newbies. Saint Tooter can only do so much, thus leaving the blind to lead the blind. Personally I go over and lurk, but stay out of it. Too many whiners. Too many ill-informed experts. Too many persons vying for the role of alpha. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

I am breaking my usual rule of keeping my keyboard quiet if I have nothing nice to say, but, my main gripe about the grads boards is the constant self rightous and mean spirited *****ing about the main board and the new people who don't know as much as the "grads" . If you don't like it don't go there, and certainly not to just tear down a new person who is trying to learn. I am so glad everybody here are saints and know everything there is to know and never, ever eat or at least admit to eating anything not on their plan. I personally remember that even tho I had all the teaching, I had many questions and forgot things that I learned preop. Early on post op I remember not feeling well which is also not conducive to remembering everything. Have you forgotten how hard it is in the first months post op? Maybe if you can't be supportive and a little nice instead of treating someone like they are stupid would be a start of just don't answer them if it is sooo very aggrevating to you.

Oh very well said Willow. I get the same feeling when I read this board. Everyone here, because they have been postop for a few years, some even less than 2..act as if they never ever make a mistake (or at least most will never admit, for fear of becoming "one of the others"..who do fall down)..are very self righteous. People here DO forget that probably at some point they were just as clueless in some aspects as some of the newer preop and postops of today. God forbid someone shouldn't be absolutely perfect in their knowledge and eating right off the bar. A lot of people have surgeries and doctors do nothing to educate them, especially with the assembly line type of surgery that occurs these days. Just because people have surgery doesn't mean it fixes them, it doesnt take away the reason why people are emotional eater or have addicitve behavior. Just like if you have surgery it doesnt make you perfect..but for some it does seem to give them the belief that they are better, smarter and more perfect than others. I'm beginning to think a lot of these long term grads (not all, Joann from Boston is the most real person I see) are like "bots"..all it is for them is wls and beyond, there is no human aspect anymore..it's as if surgery turned them into postop robots..they no longer feel (most forget how much it sucked to be told how you were failing when they were preop and newly postop) and they no longer fall..which I find odd. All of a sudden..we're surrounded by postop superheros..perfect in every way..to themselves. We were all newbies, we were all somewhat clueless, we were (and some still are) annoying and we all made (and still do) make mistakes. Biggest mistake..is to think you'll never make one.. That ground can sure leave a mark when ya fall hard enough.

i don't know who you are referring to on this board because I have never seen that. In fact, nearly to a person, we all have been posting about our struggles. i, for one, was accused of 'thinking I was the perfect post op" yesterday on the main board and i don't know where that idea came from. My struggles are well documented.

What I find amazing is how some of the grads (notice I said "some" not all) try to justify their mean spiritedness with the excuse of giving tough love. Ever think that maybe some people arent as emotionally stable as others? That saying that once we have surgery, all will be right with the world, I will be prettier or more handsome.. I will be more popular and people will like me , and last but not least..I will be perfect, I will take charge (as some say) of my life and my recovery and I will not eat bad things.. Well you know..in a perfect world..that would be the ideal scenario..but this world of WLS is far far from perfect, just like its inhabitants..people who are new really dont know what to expect after surgery, jsut because we tell them that it will get better weeks down the road..that the head hunger will lessen as time goes on..that our clothes will get bigger despite us not losing for a week.. Well guess what..when you are in the thick of that..as a new postop..you dont always feel like it'll get better..or the head hunger will go away or the clothes will start to get baggy..it's something you have to live to understand..and most grads DO have good intentions..but tough love or being sick of new people asking question just perplexes me.. It's like giving birth. All the people in the world can tell you it isnt that bad and that once you give birth you forget the pain..well for some people..that pain is never forgotten..and you dont know what kind of pain it's going to be until you actually experience it. I just am amazed at how much people forget..that they were like that too..whether or not they can admit to themselves..we were all there..and if people are gonna offer up woirds of wisdom..and pearls of knowledge..do it with a kind heart..if you cant do it nicely..dont do it at all.. A lot of people who are postop often become the mean people that were *****ed about that we enountered before we had surgery. Some wont like this post, but thats ok..obviously (seeing willows post) i'm not the only peson who notices this..if others spoke up then maybe it'd change.