Green Eyed Monster!

Okay, guys, I can't think of a better group of people to get opinions from so here goes. This morning I saw my neighbor, who for a long time was quite large. I can remember running in to her some time around January and she was so complimentary on my weight. She then proceded to tell me that her and her husband were divorcing and that she wa****ting the dating scene soon. Well, today, I was amazed, she has lost so much weight and might even be smaller than me! I was so jealous. Jealous of what? Well, mostly because she has done it on her own with eating right and exercise, while I resorted to WLS. What makes it even worse today, is that for some reason I'm having horrible cramps and it's making me feel even more sorry for myself. I know I should feel happy for her (even though she now turns her nose up at me, it's like HELLO, didn't you share your life story with me just a few months ago?) but I'm just so remorseful today. Does anyone ever feel like me? Can someone reach over and thump me on the head and say get over it? Thanks for reading! Cathy

Cathy, while I haven't had this issue with weight loss - I've had it with others. I think it's human nature. Just realize your "jealousy" and put it into perspective and utilize it as a tool to learn from in the future and how to better YOURSELF! MUCH easier said than done! KISS!!

Hey, congrats on recognizing it and dealing with it. As for her "doing it on her own"-- who had the surgery, recovery, etc for you?? You did it on your own too. She's smaller than you?? There are millions of people smaller than you--and just as many bigger than you too-so?? Do you think it's a grass is greener thing and that her new dating life sounds exciting to you?? So, consider this both a thump on the head and a pat on the back. Turn your focus elsewhere for a couple of days and I'll bet your bad feelings go away. Plus, on the catty side, let's see if she keeps it off!! Hang in there! Marian

Hi Cathy, Give yourself a little break here! My doc says that yes, about 3% of people can lose weight and keep it off long term without surgery. Woo Hoo for her that she's one of them (maybe... see how things look in a year. Meow.) Just because you (and I) fall into the other 97%, does that make us less worthy? I think not!!! Do something nice for yourself today and just remember that the tricky part is KEEPING it off. Linda

both routes to weight loss whether thru diet/exercise alone or WLS is a means to an end, a healthier you. If you are anything like me, well - I was one of the 95% who could not do it thru diet and exercise alone. I congratulate the other 5% who could, they SHOULD feel good about themselves. It is hard work. I feel good very about losing the weight thru whatever means it took to do it. God Knows I still have to watch my diet and exercises as well. But, the fact is I did what it took for *me* to succeed. I know plenty of people who have felt and said it is not fair for me to be able to have surgery while they have to struggle with their extra 30 pounds or so. they also say it is not fair that I am smaller than they are. But the truth is I am working and working hard for this. I'm eating a protein bar or yougurt with high fiber cereal for breakfast while they are trying to get me to have a donut, because "just one won't hurt." I am exercising and they don't have time because desparate housewives, or survivior or lost , etc, etc, is on and they gotta see that. so WHO is taking the easy way out???? Not you and not me or anybody who is working hard to lose weight thru whatever means. Celebrate your success!!! the fact that she did it with out surgery doesn't make her a better or stronger person or diminsh your success in any way.

But does she have the support system that you do? You have all of us.....that's an advantage that most that just diet don't have. It's ok to feel some jeaslousy, we all do, but we can't linger on it....just bru**** off...... Darlene

Cathy, Is there something more going on than the jealousy for someone "doing it on their own"? Usually jealousy is a result of an inadequacy we think we see in ourselves. So you think you "took the easy way out"? I know at this point after your surgery you should realize that this certainly isn't easy, even with the surgery. Or is it something else? (Or maybe it's just your time of the month??? LOL) Maybe this is an indication that you should go talk to someone? Michelle

Cathy, about 4 or 5 years ago, my sister and I went on a cruise together. We had both been pretty heavy and through Weigh****chers, we were about the same weight. After the cruise, I went on to gain that 60+ lbs. back and my sister went on to lose the rest of the weight. She's kept it off all this time and a year ago I had WLS. Now that I'm at goal, I've noticed that my sister's weight is creeping back up a little. I hope and pray she is able to keep her weight off and maintain her health, but let's face it, after losing so much, even though she's done well for several years now, the chances are that she will regain a good portion of the weight she lost. I don't hope that happens to your neighbor, but unless she's dealt with the food issue in her life, the chances are that she will also regain her weight. Let's face it, even some of us outeat the surgery! It's just not easy for any of us, so try not to be jealous! We all have to do what we have to do - for ourselves!! And in our own way!! For you it was WLS and that's fine! Jan 240/126/115 (at goal size)