Thin people treated differently

I always suspected this, but now that I am thinner, I'm beginning to realize this is so true. People treat me differently. The door is opened more for me. I get more smiles. Gentlemen are just more .... gentlemanly to me. Interestingly some women are not as nice.... Have you also experienced this? How do you handle it? I'm trying just to take it in stride, but I have mixed feelings of irritation and a bit of power trip. I'm the same person as I was 130 pounds ago -- at least I think I am. Maybe I do exude more confidence and that has something to do with it. I know I do dress nicer, and wear makeup everyday. Do I care more about myself, so people care more about me? Am I accusing others of being shallow, when I'm just as swallow myself? Your thoughts? Joni

Joni-As someone who was normal sized until after children I have felt this all along. I could feel it when I was fat and feel it now. There definitely is a distinct difference in the way I am treated by strangers. I do believe though, that in addition to them treating me different because of how I look, I also act different, am more friendly and confident--therefor treated differently. Which came first the chicken or the egg?

A little hijack here. How are you doing Lynda? Hope your feeling better every day, can't wait to see the "new" you. I know you'll be just fabulous.

Rita--Thanks so much for asking. I am really doing great. My daughter and I drove to Fort Lauderdale this am for a 7:30 appointment. He took my drains out! YAY! They started to get uncomfortable the past couple days. He said this next week is really important as far as staying inactive though. I guess when the drains come out are when you are at the highest risk for a seroma (which is a fluid build up). If I get a seroma that would mean visiting him every other day to have it drained. So I will be hanging around in bed and my recliner, watching tv and playing on the computer, for probably one more week. He said I am looking spectacular--better than expected for a week and a half. My tummy really looks amazing. There is still lots of swelling though. The pain was much less than what I had expected. I would do it again in a flash--and I can't even see final results yet! Now my arms--remember how bad they were? Well he just lipo'd them in preperation for an arm lift down the line. Oh my goodness--they are way worse! He warned me they would be--but it is still shocking. Did you have your consult? How did it go? Let me know and if you have any ?s be sure and ask. I have lots of websites I can send you if you want. I know you are like me--a knowledge seeker. Thanks again for asking Rita. Gonna start looking at my schedule for another trip to Boston-will let you know.

As a gentleman, and having been around here long enough to hear this often (even Pre-op), I've sorta made a point to pay attention to this. My observations are: When it comes to Doors, most thin women will speed up to the door, make eye contact, and say thanks. Most obese women will not speed up, not make eye contact, and not say anything. Now, if I'm on the cusp of "I can continue on without being rude, but should I wait?", if there is no eye-contact, I'm much less likely to wait those extra seconds. I smile at everyone, obese women rarely see it because they are looking down. Tek

If I'm pretty sure someone is going to open a door for me, I also speed up to get there (don't want anyone to have to wait for me). I don't remember doing this before and can't be sure if it was because I doubted anyone would hold a door for me or if I just didn't make eye contact. Could very well be a little of both. Linn

What you said, rings true.

Tek--I smile at everyone too. In fact when people meet other members of my family and the people make the connection--frequently they refer to me as "the lady who's always smiling". Of course they don't know what a b@#@H I really am. LOL Another thing--as a fat person I was always worried about tripping (which I did frequently)--hence watching the ground.

the no eye contact goes with wanting to be invisible and hope no one notices you because when you are a fat woman you ARE either invisible or an object of ridicule. at 4'11" and 260 the last thing I wanted was to be noticed. as a 4'11" size 8 I am "cute" and "tiny" and nobody's object of ridicule. I still do not and probably will not ever know how to respong to flirting, I just blush and lose my ability to speak. Thank goodness I am married (27 years) to my childhood sweetheart.

I completely agree with you, Joni. I experienced the same thing. It bothered me so much at first, but then I started noticing less and less. I guess the same way I stopped noticing the way people treated me differently when I was fat.