Asking OFF Too!!

Good morning OFF, I posted this to the Grad Board yesterday, but I'm sure there are the wise women of this board, my home, who can add some input in this question for me.......so whadda y'all think? Okay this is new and different.......... I had a contract negotiation meeting today at noon, which by the way I aced! YES!!!! However, though I am thrilled and feeling quite confident regarding my professional abilities....finally again; the reason for this post is that I do not know how to "read" people at all. When I was MO, at 380, it was easy to interact on a business level or social level. I knew what to expect and was typically never dissapointed. One of two responses would be displayed and I was right on with each of them. There would be the initial shock of my size, and then obvious embarrassment and a quick face change to cover up that shock and move on to the business at hand. Or, there was no reaction at all, bless THEIR hearts, and it was just business....or social interaction or both. Today however, and this is the first initial business interaction I have had since WLS.....2 years ago, I met with a physician. I am a medical transcriptionist and I wanted his account. He said my name from the hallway before entering the room where I was waiting for him to discuss the negotiation terms. I was pleasant, and oriented X 4, and when he entered the room, he visibly hesitated and did what I would call a double take. I do not know what that was. Do you? I don't know how to "read" people's reactions to me anymore. He recovered quickly and put out his hand to greet me, and all went smoothly from that moment on with a very successful meeting. But, what was the hesitation when entering the room? He looked me right in the eye and emotionally or mentally stumbled, or at least that was what I read on his face. Of course I wanted to make it about me and my appearance. So, have you had this happen to you? Are you able to ascertain what people are experiencing or can you get a good "read" on an initial reaction to yourself??? I feel very inept socially in this regard...like at a disadvantage somehow. I have always depended on my intuition or first impression and now it is totally thrown off. Thanks for any input you may have on this one. Jeannie

oops.

Yeah, oops... silly! Caught you! WP

Lost again are ya???? Dar

My perpetual state.....LOLOLOL

I've had quite a few double takes in the business evironment. I visit the same clients maybe once every 2 years, and I'm sure they remember me as the "huge" person from my company. So when they are expecting me to come in and someone relatively small walks in the door, the faces are confused and many times people have done double takes. Then I can see them questioning themselves, like "i thought this chick was big".... But I don't mind it all! My initial read on things: usually I could see that people were thinking "wow this girl is big". Now I don't get a read on people, like the don't think anything until we actually start mixing it up. Michelle 294/148

Hi Michelle, Thanks for your input... I'm better with seeing or meeting people that knew me long ago...it's this NEW people that have never known me that are the difficult ones!!! Jeannie

Perhaps this physician had checked you out among colleagues *****membered you as the fat lady and was surprised (perhaps dazzled???***) by your beautiful appearance! In any case, I think we can try to read too much into how people handle themselves. Yes, first appearances carry a lot of weight but it isn't all that matters, and selling your skills as a medical transcriptionist was the important thing. When in doubt, smile sincerely, stand immediately (if you aren't already)shake hands firmly with your hand fully engaged in theirs, and **believe**---with all modesty---that that they will be glad to have met you by the time you leave. Exuding confidence and competence with a little modesty thrown in will take you further than that first visual impression. Learning a new type of confidence in how others "see" us is one of the many challenges of we formerly MO people. You look beautiful, by the way. Ann

Ann, You give great advice because it is just what I did! I was standing, and I looked him right in the eye and ignored the little 'stumble' of his, reached out confidently and took his hand, firmly and confidently...and the rest, as they say, is history. We got along famously and I am very much looking forward to a long association with this man. I am very grateful that I was able to maintain my peace of mind and remember the importance of why I was there. I am new in this area and I (now this is funny...LOL) honestly "thought" by moving to a new area I would avoid some of the current "this girl used to be fat" experiences.........LOLOL. I did avoid much of those by relocating, but then again......these "new" experiences are just as difficult!! Thank you so much for sharing you input with me! I learn so much on this board.....It's good to be here. Jeannie

I think you know....it's just not the same as it was preop so you feel out of sorts! HELL YES HE IS LOOKING AT YOU!! Probably didnt expect you to be so darn good looking! BELIEVE IT! Julie It is a strange feeling to think that someone IS looking at us and thinking those things but they ARE!