Surgery on our Stomachs, Not our Heads....

I was one person who went running for help when things got tough. I have a problem with chronic depression (seems to run in the bloodlines...both my daughters have issues with it too). I see a psychiatrist who manages my medication . Recently, I began seeing a therapist who is helping work through all the garbage that gets in my way. Now that I am not using food to relieve anxietyand push down feelings ....they are all coming up. I recommend therapy highly. It really helps.

I have little faith in Psychs (-ologists, -iatrists). In my experience, which is somewhat greater than I would have hoped, less than half even have a clue. Of those remaining, too many have their pet theory and beliefs that although perhaps valid and thoughtful, simply do not apply to everyone. This is not to say there are the rare Psychs out there that IMHO have been extraordinarily helpful to me and my family. But they have been rare. Sadly, I believe the major flaw of many Psychs is they believe what the patient says. This is not to say I am not a believer in change and self-improvement. I have done, and continue to do extensive reading on behavior and how the brain seems to work. I take what makes sense to me, or the situation I am trying to understand, and discard what doesn't. Unlike many, I DO believe my WLS had a direct impact on my thinking and behaviors. I was a compulsive overeater/binger. Pre-Op, I was very aware of my relationship to food. Many of my Pre-Op behaviors were conditioned responses to situations. Post-op, it only took a very few bad experiences to (re)condition my thinking and behavior with food. I am, and will always be, a work in progress. Tek

I think therapy is a wonderful tool for those who need it. I did a few sessions some years ago when I went into severe depression, thinking about suicide as an option. In therapy I was amazed to realize I had never dealt with the death of my husband, 20 years prior to therapy. I'd just buried the pain and ran as fast as I could so I didn't have to think about it. Ten sessions and a million tears later, the depression was gone and hasn't come back. Just know you will get out of therapy what you put into it. I found only through journaling could I get to my feelings. As I sat down to type things came out on paper that I didn't even know were buried. Those were the things we'd talk about at my next therapy session. I often read off parts of my journal to the therapist rather than try to express my thoughts verbally. I don't think all obese people need therapy, we each have our own reasons for being obese. There are those with poor metabolisms, others who just like the taste of food, etc. Those who eat for emotional reasons probably would find a solution through therapy. It's certainly worth a try if you are stressed out and feeling like a failure at wls. Best of luck! Thanks for being here to support each other.

Thanks Dx E for posting this...I recommended therapy over and over when i used to post on the other board because I could see people had real deep issues. My insurance pays for my therapy and I am so THANKFUL for it. Someone posted that it is not for everyone and that is so true. I sought out help because of my severe depression. I knew I needed help and knew I had to do something because the problem was too big for me to handle on my own. I was severely depressed. I had gotten to over 400 pounds and my doctor recognized that my first step was to get me in therapy first before I could concentrate on any other part of my life and he was right. I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist and could not do without them. I have identified, what I believe causes my depression, which causes me to overeat and now have a handle on it. I couldnt have done this, had it not been for my therapy. I am very thankful for my medical insurance assistance. Again, it is not for everyone. Christmas Baby

I had a bad experience with a therapist several years pre-op. I went to see her in an effort to help me maintain my weight loss after one of those medically-supervised liquid diets (I had started my rapid regain and was desperate to find out why I couldn't maintain the loss). She was recommended to me as a supposed expert on eating disorders and weight loss issues. After several sessions of dwelling on my mother (yes, I know I learned a lot of bad eating behaviors from my mother, but dwelling on that for hours was not doing anything to help me maintain my weight loss). It soon became clear that this therapist did not believe in any physiological differences in people that could contribute to obesity. In other words, she would not listen when I told her that there was a genetic component, a metabolic component, a hormonal imbalance, a "starvation" reaction, or any other physiological component to my weight issue that was adding to and exacerbating my psychological/behavioral problems. She simply would not believe me when I told her that even when I stuck faithfully to the maintenance eating plan I still regained. I explained to her that I simply cannot eat as much as "normal" people--that I have to eat far less or exercise like mad to maintain or lose weight and that this made me feel like a freak and a failure. She got irritated with me and said so; she thought I was making excuses for myself. This put us in a confrontational mode because every doctor I had ever seen and all the research I had ever done told me that there were indeed physiological contributors to my problem. I always acknowledged that there were psychological issues as well, which was why I went to the therapist in the first place. I'm pretty self-aware, though, and it was taking hours and hours for her to "find out" all the things I already knew--my emotional eating triggers, my most dangerous times of the day for grazing, my ingrained behaviors, my relationships with my parents/spouse/children. I needed solutions because I already knew what was setting me off--I just didn't know how to stop the inevitable downward spiral. I became convinced (right or wrong) that she was drawing out the discovery phase of my sessions in order to draw out the money I would have to pay her. In the meantime, I was regaining at a frightening rate and becoming intensely frustrated that therapy apparently did not involve working out strategies and solutions as I thought it would. She simply chastised me for being impatient and went back to talking about my mother. It didn't help that this therapist was a thin woman who had always been thin. That contributed to my feeling that she really had no understanding of what it's like to be morbidly obese or to experience losing a massive amount of weight only to regain it over and over and over again. Anyway, when I was gathering my stuff together to get insurance approval for WLS, I asked her to write a letter in support of my getting weight loss surgery. I should have known better. She explained that she does not support weight loss surgery at all because she doesn't think it's effective (apparently hasn't seen all the statistics to the contrary). She said that all I had to do was eat right and exercise. Aaaaarrrggh! What did she think I had been doing on all those diets for all those years?! She made me so mad. I don't think I'll ever seek therapy again because of my experiences with her. I'm sure there are great therapists out there, but I wasted a TON of money I didn't have on a very sincere attempt at therapy with this woman, and I'm just not willing to risk it again. I rely now on my husband and my support groups to help me battle my head issues. It's a slow road, but I've changed a lot of my worst behaviors and continue to chip away at the rest. ---- Leslie

Dx, you have hit my issues right on. I did go to a psychiatrist who did modify my antidepressants, but also insisted i get into therapy as well to deal with my other issues. And I am doing so. It initially is not necessarily fun. It sometimes is easier (in the short term) to brush emotions under the rug and eat a cookie. It can be painful bringing out the emotions and examineing them. However I decided that in the LONG run to be successful not only for the surgery & weight loss, but my pwn personal happiness I have to do it.

I am most appreciative of this thread. Thanks Dx. I entered therapy at 4 months post op and anorexic. Being a binge eater for 45 years and now anorexic? I was clueless. I quickly learned it is the same coin just flipped over. But, the anorexia had a really nice physiologic component that binge eating did not. It was power and ego. This led me to the awareness of just how "large and in charge" I thought I was. The next 2 years have been all about life experiences, choices and decisions made by myself, taking full responsibility that have taught me many of the life tools I never learned or earned being too busy eating and diverting and running from myself and my feelings. So, 2 years of intense feelings and trying to continue to do everything but eat has been of great benefit. I appreciate the therapy more than you can imagine for it took me to the path I have followed since that time and I do not regret much of it. Would there be some things I would do differently.......probably not. My lessons were hard and painful, and had I NOT done what I did, I would not be here now, and this is the best I've ever been.......pre or post. So, I accept I was a head case after WLS....it's okay today......and that has not always been the case. It was embarrassing and shameful in the beginning but powerful and enticing so much so, I did it all anyway. Again, today, realizing a sense of self to a degree I've never known, makes that all forgivable and somewhat necessary. I'm lucky, I was able to pay attention to the lessons and learn from them...I understand not all of us are so fortunate. I strongly support therapy.......though I agree, there are so many frighteningly inadequate therapists out there......talk therapy...worked for me...group therapy was very helpful as well. Thanks again Dx. Jeannie