Surgery on our Stomachs, Not our Heads....

OK Grads, An Early Question to kick around today. (I'm off at 7:00am to start a daylong Seminar in Scenic Art So I wanted to get this out there in my absence.) Here's some thoughts that were bouncing around in my head, And I'd like to bounce them around in yours too. Maybe get some insight. You know how we're always seeing the reply- "The Surgery is on our Stomachs, Not our Heads...." So, it got me thinking. Why are we stopping there, or are we? Once we get past the first couple of years The issues are not - "I'm losing too slow..." "Can I eat __________?" "What's a Protein drink that tastes good?" Etc.......... Our issues are more than likely- Compulsive Grazing! Fear of re-gain! Dealing with Body Image! It Only made me thinner, not happier! Etc............... So if we've had the work done on our Stomachs, Why not move on to have work done on our heads? What keeps us from getting Psychiatric Help? Fear? No one has ever "crashed" and ended up in the ICU For weeks due to a mishap on the Psychiatrist's Couch. No Life Threatening Complications from time with a Therapist. Maybe the Stigma of seeing a "Shrink?" Stigma? Hell, we've lived with Stigma before. Quite a Stigma just walking into a mall while being MO. Cost? It's a way easier to get an insurance company to pick up the dime On some "sessions" than it is to get them to cover WLS. So what keeps us from seeking professional help? Or do we already? I know I see people post about their Therapists, But I don't really know. My surgeon puts all of his patients on Effexor after surgery For Post-Surgical Depression, but I was off of that Before I was closed up from my surgery. (profile) I think I was lucky in a way to have had such a "traumatic" Beginning to this whole WLS experience. I went from being a fairly jolly fat man, to - A Very Thankful to be Alive, jolly, healthy man. But I often see people posting about real "head issues" And those seem to continue to plague them. So, (attempting to frame a question in this ramble) What are we doing for our heads? What's working for you? What have you wanted to "get worked on" But haven't started to deal with yet? Is it "Talk Therapy" that works for us? (it does seem from what I can tell, that most Psychiatrists Would rather just dispense a drug that will bring people Quickly to the same state that they would eventually get to By Talking it through. Yes? Pill pushers now-a-days?) So, We've had the Surgery on our Guts, Now What? Best Wishes- Dx

Good morning Dx, I have been thinking about this for a while now. I went through 1 year of "shrinkage" (lol sounds funny) for a year before the surgery to try to deal with binge eating. My thought is- do all obese people/previously obese people have head issues? I don't think I do. Am I just in denial? I could never get to the "core" of why I ate except for that I really enjoyed it! Michelle 294/148

At my initial WLS consultation the Dr. asked me if I eat to cope with emotions and I said OF COURSE. a minute later I asked himif any one ever says no to that question. he said "some people lie" I think my honesty in talking about my eating issues spared me a psych consult preop, but I still have to deal with them now. At least I am dealing with them with a physical tool to help me along.

I was seeing a shrink before surgery also......she left the practice and I didn't care for any of her co-workers.....so I quit! I have an appt with a new doctor the 2nd of September. I don't think a shrink will ever get to the bottom of my issues per se.....as I don't really think I have any But if they can help me learn how to better cope with urges to eat or feed myself for emotional reasons.....thats all I am hoping for. I am not ashamed to go to them......it just wasn't high on my priority list. But I should be high on my priority list, so I am going......and in reality it will not only help me, but my whole family! Take Care jesi

dx ive been saying that since i met my surgeon ..from his supoport meetings that he runs he said it from day 1 you have surgery on your sytomachs not your brain..this is a tool to help you.. i see a shrink once a month for eating issues well stress turns into eating issuess .. not to go into it but mylife has been nuts for the past year and from the stress of iy i was starting to revert into the old habits so the shrink just helps me learn coping mechanisms? but just think we are just like ORDINARY people now we ahve to watch what we eat so we wont gain weight and didnt we want to be NORMAL? have good day JoAnn::

Probably therapy for everyone would be a good thing! For me, it's just a matter of time and money. Plus, hey, I have all of you! (Please don't send me a bill!) Lately, I've been reading all the mumbo-jumbo books about fat bodies and fat minds. One author suggested it was because our moms didn't love us as babies. I'm not willing to go there. One thing I did pick up that I like is positive affirmation. One author suggested that overweight (or formerly overweight) people are very negative to themselves. They tell themselves things no one else would ever say. My positive affirmation is: I will be more active, and make good food choices today. I try to say that dozens of times every day. It's taped to my computer. I think it's helping -- a sort of self brain-washing technique. I don't really see myself as thin as I am, but I never saw myself as fat as I was either. I really feel like I'm the same person as before -- only smaller. My husband says I just have a redesigned package! Sure, I love wearing smaller clothes, but weight loss doesn't guarantee happiness. We all have to learn to love ourselves, and cut ourselves the same slack we give to others. Give yourself ((((((hugs)))))) because you can't always count on everyone else to! Joni 295/169/155

Psychatrists = drug dispensers - and at the amount of student loans most of them have, they want as many 15 minute billable appts as possible. Psychologists = therapists. Don't mind getting their metaphorical hands ooky with all your brain drippings. I've been in therapy a couplea times in my life. I ramped back up before my surgery - to start to make the transition into the new life, and have continued in the year and a half since - and its been needed. For me Talk Therapy and journaling go a long way. I also throw myself in the path of support - even when the idea of sitting in a room full of strangers and sharing the most intimate details of my sick relationship with food makes me go "ummm. . . no thanks?. . .ok. . .I'll go. *sigh*" I'm learning day by day to live as a healthy happy person. And I make mistakes. And I'm learning forgiveness. Oddly enough - I'm finding that focusing on learning to run - becoming a beginner again has been incredibly helpful to my ego - its taking me down a peg, and reminding me of what its like to be the n00b/beginner again. Ok, this was rambly enough. . .but in all fairness, I'm up about 2 hours earlier than normal. ~Lara

Dx, How right you are. I've recently joined a group of post ops out at least eighteen months supervised by a shrink suggested by our surgeon. Oh the things I have learned about myself!!! The best thing I've done for me in a while not counting WLS. My surgeon has just begun to have a mini meeting at his support group a short time with just post ops and then time together. While he is with the post ops the nut is with the pre ops and then visa versa and then we all meet together. It is a nice forum as our post op concerns are different and we don't want to scare a pre-op because our concerns are just that not reasons not to have the surgery. JoAnn you weren't at the last meeting I think you'll like the new forum!!!! Very thought provoking. How we are learning to like ourseves now and accept our new images. A rough road but we will all survive this too. We are strong. Just look back and see how far you come already.

#1 reason why I don't see a shrink--they might figure out that I really am Once that cat is out of the bag who knows!! I may be in denial but here is my thinking for me--and me alone. I don't believe I am an emotional eater. Food tastes good to me. I do believe, however, that I am chemically missing something which tells my brain that I am full. The reason why I say that is because when I was on Fen/Phen it was the only time in my life I can remember pushing a plate away from me with food still on it. I know it was the fen part of the concoction that worked on the brain. I also believe that my metabolism is the slowest on earth. It was confirmed for me after surgery where I lost at a snails pace. While I ate a lot of bad foods in larger quantity I truly believe that I didn't eat enough to make most people MO--especially in the beginning. I certainly ate enough to make me overweight/obese however. Maybe all this denial just proves I really am

When a potter begins to fashion an object from clay, we have the image of hands sensuously caressing slick material as it being spun on the wheel. What you seldom see is the process that the clay goes through prior to being thrown. There is the pug mill, and other devices that prepare the clay to be formed, breaking it down to remove air bubbles, clumps of dense matter, etc. The raw material is not treated gently at all. Most of us want to be gently formed into something beautiful w/o the hassle and pain of the preparation and the process of change. As we move into our new forms, we have to be prepared for some rough handling and breakage. The reasons that we were fat are myriad, diverse and often systemic. We simply can not wish them away nor can we pretend that the years of obesity have not had an effect on us physically or mentally. The first challenge we have to confront is that WLS will not make everything better. It will make somethings better; somethings may become worse and other things just won't budge! Getting that fact into our heads the first step toward wholeness. We have to execute Pollyanna and demand reality. The perfect body may not be within our grasp. The perfect relationship with a partner may not be within our grasp. The perfect life may not be ......... Oddly enough, once we get that through our thick heads, we have taken a major step toward living a better life. We can dance with those dreams, but we must not allow them to taunt us at the same time. We will no longer be bedeviled by perfection. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay