What's in a word?

There is a thread on the main board regarding the name change of the OH magazine. It revolves around the word OBESITY. For many folks, words like OBESE, FAT, and all those other lovely names are cause for anything from a mere wince to out and out pain. Some want to get as far away from the word OBESE as they can get. They would not want a magazine with that word on the cover laying around in their home. They would be more comfortable with the mailman delivering their monthly Hustler magazine than that. As a grad, where are you now with those words? Can you say 'fat' without some discomfort? Do you still use circumlocutions such as 'large'? No pun intended here, but please weigh in and share what you think about the verbiage of obesity. Are there still words that cause you to wince or worse? What is your relationship to you former, larger self? Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

i was whatever I was. Fat, obese, none of those are a lie. I can use them just fine to describe myself then or now. However, when I get pissy about it, is when someone else uses them against me in a mean or derogatory way. Or if I hear them use those words that way against someone else. I can call myself a fat azz, but I don't want someone else doing it, see?

If I may ask, is your current state with those words because its behind you now or were you fairly comfortable with them prior to WLS? Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

I answered this while ago but can't find my answer. I wasn't comfortable with my husband oinking at me but when my mother and I discussed my overweight situation that was ok because she did it with love, was never condescending about it and she was a little tiny thing. She just didn't want me unhappy about myself. So it always depended on the intent of the person uttering the fat word, mean and derogatory was not ok. I was ok before with it according to how it was meant, and in fact, I'm ok now with it because I was fat then and actually I still am overweight. I am whatever I am. Becky 280/145/172

I remember the first time my doctor put the word Obese on my medical chart: I was 16, and I wasn't even sure what it meant. When years later than word became Morbidly Obese I was devasted and I hated hearing any "fat" word. My nightmare then was if I was in a catastrophe of some sort, that the rescue workers would look at me and think "No way am I going to break my back trying to save her." I can now say that I was fat, huge, MO, obese, etc. and I do it with a pang of sympathy for the person I was. I still consider myself a "big girl" and still call myself that. I weigh 167# and am 5'9". I wear a size 10/12. I have a small waist but very wide hips. There is no way anyone would ever call me "thin, slim, skinny." Maybe "slender" if they look at me from the side, but not after they get a front or rear view! If the word is appropriate, I guess we have to accept it as long as it is not used in a derogatory or deflammatory way. Is it really any different than using other adjectives to describe someone or something? We are what we are. BUt of course, it's all too often true that the fat words are used in a very deflammatory way. Pit our society. Ann

I can't even imagine why this should become an "issue" on the boards since this is the ailment from which many of us have been delivered. I personally use any word that conjures up for folks what my life used to be like. Yes, I am ashamed of how I allowed myself to become so unhealthy and unhappy and that makes me even more unwilling to forget where I came from. I think the name of the magazine should stay the same....Lest we forget!! Good post, Jay....Cap'n K-Man

When WLS people allow others to believe that they lost all that weight by "watching their intake and exercise", I get a bit concerned. First of all, it is disingenuous. But more importantly, it leaves those who are obese to believe that they are inferior to you because they could not gut it out like the WLS patient did. They are left asking, "Why could this person muster the strength to lost X pounds so easily when I struggle with Y pounds?" Our silence may well condemn other to despair. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

Jay, If I had the cure for some disease and selfishly withheld it from the world then it might be appropriate to suggest that my silence condemns other to despair. I'm one of those who has NEVER discussed medical issues with anyone else for fear of giving misinformation or encouraging/discouraging someone to do, or not do, something. WLS is far from being a big secret in our society and I would expect anyone who is interested in how to lose weight and what their options are to discuss it with a trained medical professional - NOT ME! Let's face it ... most of the "fad" diets out there are propagated by people sharing their personal "success" stories and everyone jumping on the bandwagon. There are many aspects of my life that I consider personal and not up for discussion. I don't discuss those areas PERIOD --- it's not like I embelish the truth. I had a Professor who died of breast cancer and she had told NO ONE about her illness including her best friend or anyone at the college. (She did not seek treatment apparently because of what she had gone through as her mother and sister died of the same disease.) I look back and think of how wonderful it was to just treat her like we always did every day until the end. She died on spring break and to this day I admired the fact that she didn't let her disease dictate her life. She continued as she always had and none of us were any wiser. Those are my thoughts... your mileage may vary. DeeDee

Hey! Where the heck have you been???

I spent a month off the boards and have elected not to post on the Main Board. Lurking there is enough to validate that decision. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay