Glad to see familiar faces (sorry, kinda long)

Morning to so many that I have held close in thought, prayer and heart for so long. YES, I DO HAVE SO EXPLAINING TO DO and really am glad that I can on this board for I feel many of you will understand more completely the month of hell I have just been through. And an emotional upheavel of one as well. Yes, I did leave abruptly several weeks back. I could not explain why at the time and for those of you that have wondered and worried, I sincerely apologize. Who would have ever thought my life would take such a loop da loop! As many of you know, fate has had the paths of myself and a man that I fell in love with over twenty years to cross again back in April. The feelings were stronger after all these years and well, we both agreed we are not getting any younger, so we might ought to open the door and walk through to this opportunity in life this time. We have had some severe rough bumps along the way with estranged spouses acting like tee-total asses and such, but we are managing that. What totally flipped my world was the days after the 10th of July. I have lost FOUR close family members, one right after another. I cannot still go into details about their deaths, but needless to say, there is such a void in my heart and soul that time is going to have its work cut out for healing. It has effected me in more ways that I need. I cannot eat without heaving everything right back up, so I drink just about everything and guardedly at that. I sleep about like a jungle cat, very light and wide awake at the slightlest sound and yes, I look worse than a bag of bones. Along with all of this, I am facing some extreme back surgery in the next month. I suffer with spondelothesis(?), where one vertebrae is virtually sliding off of the other. It is at a level it is putting stress on my spinal cord and nerves. The doctors are going to have to go in and stabilize all of this or I may wind up paralyzed. The recovery time is going to be a long one, but hopefully with prayers abound, I will be back at a better quality of living soon. I will have to say a sincere thank you for all that I have kept me in thought and prayer all this time. It has meant alot to me and my sanity right now. I do wish that you please keep there still for a little while longer for the road is still a trecherous one right now. Especially with Jim, we still have a very long road to go. A very long road indeed, but somehow we will make it. Glad to see all of the familiar faces that have been my mentors, inspirations, and definitely DEAR FRIENDS. Everyone have a nice day. Me???? I am going to try and dog-paddle through the day like all the others. Best to all, Bea

Hey Bea!! Just wanted you to know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers these last couple of weeks. Don't know what else I can do but that...just know we're all here for you and are hoping all works out in the end. You take care of yourself and get some rest if you can...Cap'n K-Man

Glad to hear from you Ken, yes it is a comfort to know that my lighthouses (all of you) are still leaving the light on for me!!! It has really been a trip though. I am trying to get all the rest I can, but it is hard. I have upped the vitamins and nutrients that I can tolerate, but I sleep maybe at length about an hour at a time. Alot is due to the pain in my back, hips and legs. I go to the surgeon on the 19th to get my surgery date and all. I promise to keep you posted. Thanks for all SPECIAL "K". Bea

Bea, so good to see you.... I am so sorry you are going thru some rough times... I will dog paddle with you and keep you company...... Kiwani

Thanks Kiwi, at times I feel I need somebody gliding along in a row boat to pick me up by the ruff of the neck every once in a while!!! By the way......your new pics are wonderful. Maybe I can get some new ones up one day. But I will have to admit, I enjoy right now my profile not being up. Have had some issues there as well with some morons. But things are getting better I pray. Best to you, Bea

((((((((((((((((((((Bea)))))))))))) I am so sorry for all the troubles that you are going through, when you emailed me about it a month or so ago, I really thought you had found true happiness, and was so happy for you...I knew it would be a long battle but worth the trophy at the end... and I still think the trophy is at the end..... I am so sorry for the loss of you family and loved ones, you must be a mess, just know that we are here for you...... Of course you will be in my thoughts and prayers, and if there is anything I can do at all please ask.... Love you, Val

Sweetest Val, honestly you and many others will never know just how much you mean to me. It has been a long hard battle for sure, one that many times I wish I could just turn around and hide from. But sadly life is not like that. I have had to face some powerful demons the past weeks and I even find it myself how I can still stand. But what else could I do??? I would have always been found for sure. I can only hope and pray that with all the kind thoughts, and powerful prayers from all of you that my trophy will be my loved one at my side and we finally have peace in our lives for once. Yet I know it is not going to come without a price, but it is one that I am willing to make. Hey Lelani!!! If you are out there sweetie, thinking of you as well and I think I am going to need someone to help in writing this book. Wanna help and share the proceeds????? Best to you Val, you have been such a godsend like so many others I hold dear here. Without WLS, I would probably not have my life right now nor the priceless friendships I share here. Love to you and all, Bea

Bea Nice to see you back on again You have been in my thoughts and prayers. One step at a time All will work out for the best I can only imagine how hard all of this is for you but remember we are here for you at any time. May God bless you.

Thank you Rita, thanks ever so much. Yep, ONE STEP AT A TIME.

bea, I have been so worried about you since you announced you were leaving!!!!!!! It is really good to see you on this board. this is home and we love you. So sorry to hear about your loved ones.