What... goal

Okay I have been thinking...forget it its overrated right! What is goal? What does goal mean to you? For the longest time I didn't have a goal. Why because I thought how can you set a goal when you are not sure what you can do. Yes I felt like that for a long time. It wasn't until a few months ago did I put a number on paper and now I am reconsidering it. Why because I don't think I can make it. Now I am thinking can a goal be something other than a number for us? I know weight is a number and that is my biggest issue. Scale hasn't moved in a few weeks. Another number problem that I have! I think I want my goal to be healthy and limit my colds this winter vs the 150 goal I set. What is your goal? Debbie

My goal was the last "healthy" realistic weight I remember being... which was 150. I reached my goal last week (then I un-reached it after going away for the weekend LOL). I didn't have a goal set either for a long time. My goal was to be healthy and that was it. Don't put pressure on yourself to set a goal. One thought would be don't set yourself up to fail! But then again it's nice to have something to reach for, even if it's unobtainable. Just make your goal to be the best, healthiest, in control person you can be. Why bother putting a number on it? Michelle 8/3/04 294/150/150

So Michelle what you are saying is our journey is a lot like the hookie pookie...put your goal in ...put your goal out...shake it all about...okay don't shake there is too much on my body that giggles! How do you start the mind set of being the healthy in control person? What are the questions you ask yourself to keep in that mind set instead of the "scale hoe" that I have become. Debbie

Debbie, My goal is to remain healthy. I have regained a bit and am trying to lose it but if I don't, it's not the end of the world as long as the numbers on my lab reports and my blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar stay good. Those are the most important numbers - not the ones on the scale or the ones in the clothes. Patty

Ya know Debbie I think you have brought up a very good question on what "goal" is. I like the previous poster wasn't MO as a child. While in HighSchool as a cheerleader I weighed 140 and thought I looked ok so thats how I reached that goal and knew at one point that I could get to that and look reasonably ok. But Im curious how others pick their goal out. Some I know have a doctor that give them reasonable numbers but maybe some just picked a number out there ...and never reached that number thus making them feel like a failure. I know when I missed some of my mini goals.. I felt terrible.. (HOW SAD) I adore this site but I have to be honest and say at times I felt in competition with others close to my weight loss.. in how much I lost ..when blah blah.. DARN IT... thats just not right. Its a private journey of self improvement... and goals should be reasonable... and if you dont reach the ultimate wls goal we all should be thankful that we are STILL more healthy than before WLS but.. *sigh* I fear ... it just aint so at times. Im curious what others say on how they picked their goal. come on folks... how did you find your goal.. did you reach it? if not ..how does that make you feel? I think we all need to give (ALL OF US) ourself a pat on the back.. a hug and lots of love and support... and NEVER give up... just cause you haven't reached GOAL yet...does NOT mean its not possible still... Don't let go... deb

#1 goal was to get and stay healthy #2 goal was to get in the "normal" range for BMI I have yet to hit the normal, so close, but so far. As for feeling healthy, I was there but it is slipping. I think it is because I am not eating right, not cuz im fat. I am not fat, but if I do not take some control I sure will be. *sighs* Theresa

Debbie, My goal was anyting I could get to that was in the healthy BMI range.... 144 was my surgeons goal, I looked and felt wonderfull at 150 but all I could see was a NUMBER... I wanted 135 and couldnt get that out of my head, well with the stress I was under, I bypassed that I dropped to 130, sounds good right? I looked like I was 80 yrs old and wasnt feelling good either!!! I am trying to get a few pounds back on..and I am succediing, but not doing it the right way... I think this board can keep me on track... I think that we should get the numbers out of our heads and consentate on feeling and being healthy... Easier said than done, but hopefully we have the support to do it.... good luck to you..... Kiwani

Kiwani, Can I say WOW the new do is you! Your smile is still as beautiful as before! I am glad we have this board to come to and yes we do have to stop thinking of numbers...unless of course you are an accountant! Concentrating on our health and what makes us feel good seems so realistic....problem that comes into play is how do we keep the focus there since we started this process with the focus on the scale...and of course our Dr does not say...How healthy do you feel...they say please step up to the scale~ Its a toughie for sure. Glad to see you again! Debbie

Debbie, I must tell you that your picture is awesome too.. I know what you mean about the scale, I was obsessed at 301 and am still now.. I know it doesnt matter how big or small it is an obsession.... I can tell you that when I SAW pics of me when new granddaugher was born ,, I was So shocked at what I saw... that is the same as when I was first losing and had to see a pic to see it... I knew then that I looked bad and was seeing what everyone else had been telling me... seeing those pic is what got me off of THE NUMBER... 44 yrs of thinking that way is an adjustment to make to be sure... I know it is hard... just another reminder that we didnt have brain surgery lol

CHRIAS doesn't give us goals just an average percentage of the weight you are overweight. I have no clue how much weight I was actually overweight so I have no goal from them. lol Personally sweetie, I refused to set a goal for myself (and I think this is their reason behind it too.) As you said, how can you set a goal when you are not sure what you can do? I have failed at so many diets in the past. So many that when I would start a new one I would already know I was not going to meet the goal I had set at the beginning of it. This became very frustrating and those diets didn't last long at all. I have been heavy all my life so I don't have any idea of what weight was good on me to even try to set a goal. So I decided early on that I would not set a goal based on WLS either. Just because I may not make that number. I didn't want to take the success I would have with this surgery and all of a sudden lose the focus and happiness on the success because I would be feeling like a failure if I didn't make it to that number I had written on paper. I am drugged and rambling but I think I've made sense at what I have chosen for my life. So my advice.. did you ask for it?.. would be to not set a goal. Shoot we'll have so much extra skin and stuff that we couldnt' relastically meet that goal without having it all cut off. Again.. make sense? Love you Debbie.. did you get my voice mail last night? hmmmm? Gigee