Struggling 6 years out

Hi there,

I had RNY back in March of 2010....I weighed 309 and got down to 112.

I felt great.

Since then I have gone thru a divorce and other personal issues....and now as of this morning I am back up to 143.   I feel awful and am scared.

I am having a hard time with dealing with my extra skin and summer time now.  I have a boyfriend who when I met we always would tease about boobs  hes a boob man.....and other sexual comments.   Well now that we are a serious couple I can't get those things out of my head. He refers to summer as bikini weather.   This is NOT sitting well in my head.  I get scared to go out anywhere with him now.   I feel self conscious about my body and extra skin.  I can't wear a bikini!!!    He wants to take me to the beach tonight after he gets out of work and I'm panicking and thoughts keep rushing thru my head!!  I know there will be girls in bikinis there and I know he will look....repeatedly probably.    He is a people watcher and when I am with him I feel I am not the most important person in the world cause he is looking all around at others ....and well, me being self conscious anymore I feel he is constantly looking at girls......UGHHHHHHH

Can anyone please set me straight and help me and my thoughts??

Thank you,

Tari 

Tari,

You need to tell him what you told us! Everyone has insecurities about their bodies, especially having loose skin. Most of us do, by major weight loss or age. (I don't know how old you are.) Even people we think have amazing bodies have something they are insecure about. Has he seen you naked? Too personal a question? When I hated to be seen naked in front of my husband, I had a pannilectomy. Not a full tummy tuck by a plastic surgeon, it was only the skin removal of my low hanging stomach, by the doctor who took out my gallbladder. I felt it was a necessary, as I was wearing a size 8 and tucking in my skin that hung way below my pubic area. Sounds sexy, hu.

I wore a bikini....in the tanning booth :)

My husband looks, we all look at beaches, you just can't touch! He is with YOU, not them!! Talk to him and tell him how even though it's joking around, it bothers you. If he is the right guy for you, he will get it.

Enjoy your summer!

Kelly

As a guy I can tell you that when I stop looking, someone should threw dirt on me cause I'm dead!

As far as the loose skin insecurity, that should be an honest discussion with your boyfriend. If he's ok with it, then great. If not, find a different shallow boyfriend while you save for removal surgery.