Don't know what to think at this point...

Ok, a little bit about me, I'm 31, used to be anorexic when I was in high school. Met the love of my life I call my husband, gained a lot of weight. We both had bariatric surgery (sleeve) 9/22/14. I started at 214. I'm now at 105, lowest weight was 96. NOT ON PURPOSE. I went about a week without eating or drinking much without throwing up. Well, everyone kept saying stuff about how I was too thin. Dr told me to come in, so I did with my mom. Made me an inpatient at the hospital with malnutrition. Had to get a picc line and be on TPN. I broke down in the hospital, felt like I was being kept against my will, went stircrazy. Made them d/c me. So, I had to keep my picc line in (which I still have), and have tpn and medical equipment be delivered at home. I feel like I have no quality of life. I want my line out. I feel all this is done against my will. I was accused of an eating disorder (bulimia) while in the hospital, to the point where the dr asked to look at my teeth and hands. It's ridiculous. I think I looked fine before. But, my mom said I was nothing but bones, now I look so much better because of the medicine! (which I refuse to do the tpn now and do not take my meds). The dr said I can get it taken out when I get to 110. Well I can tell you that will never happen, so I'm going to find a way to get it taken out. My brother (who is basically dead to me now) said I will die of anorexia and it will be sad cuz my child will be taken away by my husband. My life consists of lab work weekly, 10 hrs of nightly tpn, pretty much daily dr appts due to pain and my eating. I also had to see a nutritionist which told me what to eat, which is a ton! And even more when I'm not on tpn! Yes, I see a psychologist. I was told by my internist that basically I was too "messed up" for him that I had to see someone who specializes in mental disorders. One whom also put me on a pill that also treats anorexia.

I know this is alot. Idk where I belong. I still feel fat. The drs think I have bdd. I don't eat a lot, but that's due to the surgery. My stomach is small. Yes I do forget to eat. Unfortunate side effect of the surgery that removes the hormone that makes you hungry. I do throw up. But only when I get too full and it puts a lot of pressure in my stomach. I don't exercise cuz I was told not to because it would burn excess calories that I need. I do regret the surgery now. I just wish people would leave me alone with it and keep their comments to themselves. I get told that I am called a 75 lbs little girl, etc. Why? I don't see it! UGH!

Hun, if you still feel fat at 105 pounds then yes thats an eating disorder. That is a mental component you need help to address. Eating disorders come in so so many forms and its all a huge head game we fight. Be it to heavy or to light we all battle with the mental component. I don't know how tall you are but it really sounds like you have gotten to thin and are not seeing it. Your family I'm sure is trying to help out of love. I know it is frustrating. I have been on the weight roller coaster for so so so long. If you don't like these Dr's then please find some others that can help but based on your description I do think you need help to get control of all this. I'm kinda shocked they did a sleeve on you if you were at 214 pounds. Typically you need to be well over 100 to heavy for those. That might be why you are getting down so low.

Just from your own words - you sound like  you have anorexia. And BDD .. hugs...

A lot of us deal with Body dysmorphia but most don't get to have BDD.. sorry.. 

if everyone around you are telling you that you are too thin - only only you see yourself as fat - who do you think has it right? 

our internal image is so difficult to change. It took me 2 years to stop filling fat... to stop seeing my body as "fat" ..  please continue therapy .. 

as thin as you are - skipping a meal is not OK.. not getting enough nutrition is not OK. your body is going to use your own organs ..heart is an organ... so it is a brain..

I do hope you get better...You have people around you who seems to really care about you... care enough to risk ******g you off when they are trying to save your life... You may not see it today but I hope soon you get well enough to see it...

HUGS

Been there. You have to trust the facts- what is your BMI? You KNOW what your loved ones are saying to you is true. Start working to get healthy and happy.