Venting -- Truth?

I was in the ER with my daughter last night.  She is 21 years old, 5'2" and 345 pounds (at last weigh-in).  She pulled something in her back when bending over repeatedly.  Everyone (okay, not everyone) seems to believe that her back strain is related to her weight.  That is the thing they blame.  I remember when I was heavy, anything I had wrong with me was related to my obesity.  Used to **** me off.  Like thin people never get diabetes, high blood pressure, back strain, sciatica, knee pain, heel spurs, GERD, etc.  I could feel my daughter's defensiveness.  Of course, now that I've had the surgery and lost 140 pounds, I don't have any of the above ailments, so maybe there is something to this tie-in with obesity.  Also, even as I am writing this I realize that the only person who said this out loud was my daughter.  I thought it, and my fiancé said it to me, but not to my daughter.  The ER staff said NOTHING about her weight.  Seems that a lot of this is in my own head.  Interesting.

I completely understand. I went for years trying to get a diagnosis for my constant pain, fatigue, chronic infections, etc. I was always told to loose weight, and that would help. They ran tests, but couldn't find anything. I felt like I was not taken seriously because I was overweight (that had to be the root of all of my issues, right?). Well, after I lost the weight, some of the issues did resolve, but I was finally diagnosed with UCTD (undifferentiated connective tissue disease). I feel like the doctor's actually listen to me now when I say something is wrong because they do not have something obvious like my weight in their face to blame it on. I guess some of it was my own defensiveness about my weight; however, obesity is the easy culprit to blame a wide variety of symptoms on. 

Funny story, I have recently started running, biking, and swimming (training for a triathlon), and I actually had a doctor tell me I shouldn't be doing all of that running and biking... I said that it helps me to keep my weight under control, and he chuckled at me and told me my weight was just fine... What a turn around.

Wish there was a "like" button here.  :-) 

HAHA!! I have thought that same thing many, many times!! :)

I think that a lot of doctors are afraid to mention that problems are caused by weight now, because they don't want to be accused of fat shaming.  But, you know what?  My health is infinitely better now in the 180s than it was 300+.  Not that a doc telling me my weight was to blame was going to get me to change anything until I was ready, though :(  But, yeah, I was that defensive fat person in ER too.  It sucked. 

Hope your daughter is on the road to recovery now... uggh I remember. Sore throat... well if you lost some weight. Pink eye... well if you lost some weight. Treat the issue... then... "May I share a concern I have about your weight and how it may be affecting your health" and ummm don't stop there... how about a plan (if desired) Let's try XYZ and we'll revisit it in X months and dammit... insurance if my Dr says I need a particular treatment (nutritional counseling, therapy, pharmaceuticals, medical weight loss programs, bariatric surgery, whatever) COVER IT! Don't wait for the REAL obesity related conditions to kick in diabetes, heart issues, stroke, some cancers. 

LOL OK TY for letting me vent too.

So everyone on this thread should totally join the Obesity Action Coalition... this is one of the things they fight against weight bias in healthcare (proud disclaimer I am a long time member and love them) www.obesityaction.org

Oh and PS I had to share this... https://twitter.com/Eggface/status/555179432046899200

There is a LOT of strain on your back from being obese. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or kidding themselves. 

Is your daughter considering WLS?  How does she respond to your success?  Just wondering.  I refused to weigh at the doctors' offices so when I was preparing for surgery, I had a hard time finding 5 years of weigh in history.  I was more apt to weigh if the nurse was bigger than me or at least I thought she was. 

I know extra weight does affect your body.  I have some back problems after losing weight.  I had knee surgery on my right knee before WLS.  At the time, my left knee was bothering me so I got a Cortisone injection.  After losing weight that knee doesn't bother me at all.

My daughter has mentioned it, but does not seem interested.  I think she is just not ready, and she has seen my struggles as well as my successes. 

All I know is this. When I was 257 lbs, something hurt every day. Every single day I was in pain. My blood pressure was up. My blood sugar was off. I didn't sleep well. My joints ached. And on and on and on.m

And and as for lifting, if we think for a moment that excessive weight doesn't throw off the natural points of balance and center of gravity, we are just plain wrong. When my son worked for Home Depot, they had constant safety trainings on topics such as how to lift things without injury, built around the slogan "Keep it Close." Well, when our bodies are carrying a lot of extra weight, we can't keep anything close for safety when lifting. And injuries do indeed happen. That's not fat shaming - it's physics. 

Jill, it is very hard to see our children go through difficult times but I commend you for understanding that ANY decision about weight loss is your daughter's.