I'm back!

I had Rny 12/08. I weighed 380 and I was dying of renal disease. They only was to lose the 130 pounds I needed to lose to get on the kidney transplant list was to have WLS. It took me a year to convince my nephrologist to get RnY..she thought it would kill me.She was wrong!   I got down to 199 for one day and then settled between 200-215 for about 2 years. For me it was the first time in my life that my weight was not going up or down. To me it was amazing. I still think that!

On Jan 17 2012 the long awaited call came. I got my kidney. I just passed my 3 year anniversary. The nutritionist warned me after transplant that everyone gains weight. I said I wouldn't. I was wrong. High dose steroids and the ability to eat food I hadn't eaten in years was a deadly combo.  The weight steadily crept back on. 4 months after transplant my mother died. This summer my sister died. For me grief has not been conducive to weight loss. 

Right now I weigh 322. I've weighed this weight for about a year.  I've worked hard working through big losses..one of the greatest one was the loss of the ability to go back to nursing which I loved. Huge transition.  Do you know what helped me? Toast. Crackers. Fritos.

So here I'm back. Went back to the PA in the weight loss clinic and the nutritionist. Both incredibly supportive and not a bit of shaming. The nutritionist and I worked out a plan that's based on what I eat but twisted around to make it more protein centered. My iron level is very bad *8* so I'm going to get some IV iron. This will help bring me back from the this dark fatigue.

I always felt support on this board. I learned a lot good and bad.   It's time for me to work on food and exercise again. I have absolutely no remorse or regret for the weight gain. I did what I did to survive. I got through hellish times but I did not shame myself. I never will.

Time to be mindful.

I look forward to seeing some old friends and sharing the journey together.

Deb

I am so happy to see you!  I was just telling someone about you, a new person looking into WLS who also had kidney disease.  I will look and see if I can find the post.  I am sure they would appreciate your input.

I know you can get the weight off again.  You have a tool that you didn't have before, not to mention all the experience you have gained.

Please not leave again.  I have found that sticking around and participating in the groups is one of the keys to my ability to maintain as long as I have.

If I find the post I was talking about I will send you a message.

Nice to see you too Lady Tazz. I do agree that reading and posting here helped me remain mindful. 

Tomorrow I'm going to have an Upper GI just to check out the pouch. One rule that I always maintained was not drinking with meals. I still have good restriction when I eat what I'm supposed to. I would be happy to answer any questions a person with kidney disease. It was a difficult balancing act between the heavy protein and the renal diet. Also vitamin supplementation was different.  I'm so grateful to have a nice working kidney!

See you around.

Deb

Here is the link to the thread I was talking about.  Apparently it wasn't the person but a friend who posted the question.

RNY With Dialysis

Didn't scroll down enough!  I sent her a response. 

Hugs, Deb!! I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and sister. You have been through so much. I cannot even imagine. And I agree you did what you had to to survive. Before my RNY when my dad was dying I gained 100 pounds but like you it was my coping mechanism.

It sounds like you have a great plan in place to help you lose the excess weight again. You know your mom and sister want you to live a long healthy life.

Stick around. We have missed you!! 

Laura

Thank you Laura. Your so sweet..always have been!

The grief was hard but the thing I think was the hardest was trying to get back to work after transplant and not being able to do it. I'm now retired by disability. It's a weird thing not to work. I've worked since I was 16. I really loved being a nurse. So I had to grieve all that stuff too. I gave myself a break in not worrying or even really being mindful of what I ate/weighed. It was deliberate. Isn't that crazy but that's where I was. It's feels good to be feeling myself, feeling hopeful, and feeling ready to be mindful of eating and moving.

I had an upper GI today and it showed I still have a very small pouch. The one rule I stuck with was not drinking with eating. I think it helped.

I'll stick around and will love forward to seeing you. (your girls must be teen angels by now..mine is 13 and taller than me)

Deb.

Awe. That would be a strange feeling to not be able to work when it is not on your terms.

Hard to believe our babies are growing up!! Post a current picture of your son. I bet he is growing up to be a handsome young man. He was cute as a button when he was little.

My girls are 10 and 12 now. If my 12 year old does not drive me over the edge before she is an adult, it will be a miracle. Her hormones have made her completely CRAZY- mean and nasty one minute, sweet as can be the next!! I told her yesterday she acts just like I did when I was her age. She was horrified. She does NOT want to be like her momma in any way shape or form...lol. Kids are fun

I am so glad you are feeling hopeful again. You got this!!

Laura

Yup your daughter sounds like my son. I looked on my phone for a picture and realized that the newest one I have is a year old. He is beyond grumpy about getting his picture taken but I'll get one of the sly.

He's a swimmer. On a team and swims 2 hours a day. It really helps to take the attitude out. And boy can he eat! Some days it never ends. The weird thing about him is that he won't eat if he's not hungry. In that way he is NOT like his mother.

Being a mother is the best thing I ever did though.

Deb T.

Thankfully my kids do not have issues with weight, either. Katie is never interested in eating and Sarah eats everything in sight but seems to have an amazing metabolism. She makes all of us jealous.

Katie will not let me take her picture, either, now that you mention it...lol. Here is one of me and Sarah yesterday. she is still a momma's girl 

Deciding to become a mom was my best decision, too. They are my heart!!