Back......not happy!

Hello! I haven't been on in years...when there was a very active chatroom...I had RNY in December 2007 with a 200 pound weight loss.  I worked in a clinic for years on my feet running like crazy.  Recently, I changed jobs and am not sitting in a chair instead.  Of course, I didn't change my eating habits...here I am with a 17 pound gain.  I am unhappy with myself...I know that I have dilated my pouch...I can eat quite a bit. 
It has made me very depressed...I have started working out at the gym for an hour 6 days per week.  I also have restricted my food to 890 calories per day.  
I am so angry, depressed, and embarrassed with myself! 

I've become a regular poster on the topic of regain....and guess why. Part - a BIG part - of dealing with it is dealing with the emotions of guilt, shame, and anger that accompany regain. I mean, we had surgery! We did this dramatic thing! Shouldn't THIS have done the trick? Am I a failure?

in your case, you have a good reason for the gain in that you have had a change in lifestyle. So my advice is just to face it head on, and do what you know you need to do. Water, protein first in meals, and figure out an alternate way to get some exercise into your week. 

Best wishes! Keep in touch! 

Thanks....I appreciate the kind words.  I work from home...a blessing and a curse...and I know that sitting on my tush for the day is what is doing it.  I do feel like a total failure....I think my pouch is dilated..I just need it to shrink back.

Some food i can eat and eat and eat. Other - need to make sure i measure...

the more carbs i eat - the more i want the more i eat. Feels like botomless pit. 

But give me some eggs plus veggies...or a stake.  i stay full for hours.  

Are you seeing a therapist?  Mine has been such a lifesaver during this process for me.  She's a really important part of my Obesity Recovery Team.  

I am not seeing a therapist.

You should definitely work on finding on you click with.  It could really help you deal with your feelings of depression and failure and help you to get back on track.  

I should...I wouldn't know where to start.

I would start by calling the number on the back of my insurance card and finding out what my mental health benefits are.  Then I'd get a list from them of providers and start calling and making appointments until I found one I clicked with.  Fully expect that it might take some trial and error to find the right one, but the right one for you is out there.  

If you don't have insurance, but are employed, see if your HR offers any sort of employee assistance program that has health care options.  

And if those aren't available, try looking for low cost counseling in your area, or even clergy if you're a member of a church.