So, brief story... did not realize and/or was warned of cross addiction. Got first dui at 42, in Febuary. Joined AA, trying my best, but having a very hard time. Could use support from someone who has been there/ done that with the cross addiction aspect of our surgery. By medical standards, I am a success to be at 175lbs. By life standards, I have failed. Email is [email protected]. Thanks.

You have not failed by being at 175lbs!!  I suspect that's some depression talking, it's an evil liar.

I don't think cross addiction with food was really understood until more recently, probably as a result of increasing popularity of wls. I feel sorry for those of you who were not aware of this at the start of your journey. This may not help you, but because I am aware of this I am working very hard with 2 therapists to get my head straight as possible before I go into surgery. One is my regular therapist (who I've been working with for 2 years) and the other is a psychologist who works with my surgeon's program and specializes in weight related issues. My program team understands the cross addiction and it's one of the reasons they are going to be extending their minimum time to surgery from 4 months to 6 months, even if a patient's insurance has no requirements. If, as a team, they determine a person isn't ready for surgery they will require more visits with the psychologist and/or dietitian.

I wish you all the best and am sending prayers and healing vibes your way. Embrace the struggle and work through it. It may feel like hell but the only way to get out is to keep walking.

I know I can't understand your particular struggle but I've had struggles of my own that I've had to work through, have walked through hell and have come out a stronger person. I know when I was in the middle of it all I couldn't see how it was possible to come out the other side, but I promise, it is there. Get all the support people around you that you can. If you are not seeing an individual therapist, please think about finding one you click with. They can help you sort through the issues and help you find the core set of beliefs that got you caught in the addition cycle. 

I also wanted to give you some support.  I don't suffer from alcoholism, but many of the people I love most in the world do. And, I will tell you with utmost certainty that none of them are failures. I would venture a guess that you aren't, either. You aren't defined by your disease -- that's the "stinking thinking". 

Keep working your program. It works.

I've never been an alcoholic, but my sister drank herself to death at age 42. You are already a huge step up on her by asking for help. My sister never once even admitted she was a drinker.

However you came to be an alcoholic, you can treat it the same. Go to AA meetings.Go every day. Don't try to hide your drinking from anyone. If you slip, admit it and move forward. This won't be easy, but it can be done.

You should also see a therapist to get to the root of your various addictions. You don't want to trade alcohol for yet another addiction.

Please get help. Let us know how you're doing.

I believe there is a cross addiction Private Group and I'll put a shout out to see if we can get someone from there to contact you!

Alcoholism is a terrible disease.  My husband was an alcoholic.  He drank every day, sometimes until he passed out.  He was miserable.  I brought him to detoxes time and again.  I tried my best to help him, without success.  After 13 years, HE made the decision to stop drinking - he had enough.  And once he stopped, he didn't drink again.  He went to AA and counseling.  It wasn't easy, but he was determined.  He became a wonderful husband and father.

Therapy, along with AA meetings, helped my husband a lot.  You didn't mention therapy in your post.  It helped my husband, and I hope you will consider it.  It wasn't easy for him, but he was determined, and you sound determined too.

Good luck to you. 

I don't think you are a failure either. Both my parents struggled with alcohol. Alcoholism is a disease, not a moral failing. 

AA has helped a lot of people and mighy be worth a go. Keep us posted on how you are doing please. 

I think it is hard to fight what you can't see. You are NOT a failure, but you have learned to cope with the lack of food as a drug with the drug of alcohol. Our bodies are clever that way. The DUI was a wake up call. Be glad you did not hurt yourself or someone else.

I was warned and saw it happening to myself. Not being an AA kind of person, I found intensive out patient help and have been getting better every day for 4 months. My group is one of the few in Seattle that treat cross addictions. There are several post bariatric surgery clients there. There are also court-ordered clients and just folks that need help to stay clean and sober. I have learned so much about how the brain works and am gathering coping skills as time goes on. Please be aware that the success rate for AA is pretty low (20%, I think). I urge you to look for IOP in your area. The two can be combined, for sure and will insure your success.

You can do this!

So sorry you are dealing with that.   Beside RNY - that may changes the way alcohol is absorbed and metabolized - I just came across some forum and  a study that links some antidepressant (- SSRI type, ) with increased alcohol dependency.. scary stuff. I was on Lexapro and I am slowly weaning myself off of that... If I need some "mental" help with drugs I plan to research and see if I Can find one that will not increase my chances of becoming an alcoholic.  I don't blame Lexapro on my "liking alcohol bit too much".. but I think it may contribute to that... Only time will tell..

(reprint from my post on addition group)

I like my Lexapro and have been using it on and off for close to 6 years.  well - there is my story and what I found out:

My background:

Some of you also know that after RNY I have some issue with alcohol... I don't think I am an alcoholic.. but I notice that since I had RNY and started drinking alcohol app 1 year post op..  I go between "giving it up" or "drinking a lot".  I noticed that when I start drinking - I have an issue to stop - I can but it is very difficult...  If I open  bottle of wine at home - I will drink it until it is gone.. or I go to sleep. .. Also - 1 -2 glasses of wine makes me feel drank -drank... then I kinda sober up and want some ... But if I don't have wine - or other drink - it doesn't bother me if others drink...

I was never like that before RNY....  So I blamed that on the surgery... but I just discovered that the RNY may be partially to blame - but SSRI may be even more...  I have not found real studies - but I found a lot of forums, people's blogs that talk about their battle with alcohol when they were put on SSRI... They report alcohol cravings, alcohol binges, getting drank on less alcohol.. etc... . Same issue I have been dealing with...

So.... is the Lexapro that messed up my whole alcohol thingy?  Or is it a combination of that and RNY.... 

Currently I am completely of booze... I like wine but not enough to mess up my life..  

I gave it up completely close to 2 weeks now.. and I don't feel like  I need it... I still like wine - and would like to have some - but I hate how "maniac" I get when I start drinking... 

Note: until recently I was not aware that SSRI can do that, I even tried to updose my Lexapro to help with with transition... (but obviously I will not) .  I don't know if I would stop the Lexapro now - if there would be any long term residue effects in my brain for it... I don't know if once I get off the Lexapro - I may be able to be my own self again with respect to wine... 

As for my doc - I will see him in May or June for follow up and I plan to ask him if he knows about that correlation?  I plan to bring him my findings and show that to him..  I know that if he does not know - he would appreciate the info and he may even rethink the whole Lexapro issue.. or at least warn people about the possible link between that and alcohol. 

BTW: I do understand that medication like that will not affect everyone the same way - and some people may not see that reaction.  I personally do not know why post op RNY - I suddenly "can't hold my liquor"  I am Polish - For heaven sake and if anything we can - is to hold the liquor...  

New onset alcohol dependence linked to treatment with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.(published study)

Out of my mind. Driven to drink (blog) 

SSRI + Alcohol cravings (google search)

You are making sure to go off Lexapro with Dr.s help right? otherwise it can be very bad for you!  I went thru hell when I tried to stop cold turkey...bad idea.  My issue is not with alcohol but with opiates....long story....wasn't up front with the mental examination and I still had my demons.  Now I've been "caught" and will try to deal with things I should have sought help for a long time ago (didn't want to hurt my family).  alcohol makes my tummy hurt.....too bad 'cause no one like a druggie but everyone loves a drunk...: (