Feel like I'm failing

Hello everyone. I am new here and I have been searching for somewhere to talk to people who may understand. I am 14 months out and have lost 120 pounds. I know that sounds good, but I am feeling overwhelmed. I am a stress eater and no matter how well the surgery goes, it doesn't take that feeling away. Right now I have two of my best friends fighting terminal cancer, one already in hospice in her last days and one with a very bleak prognosis. My daughter's great-grandfather, who is 83 is having quadruple bypass surgery this week. She has been terribly upset along with me. (She is 13). Needless to say, my stress eating urges are at full force and I am finding it hard to fight them. As it is, I have never had any problems since the surgery. I have had some health problems, but as far as foods that I cn't tolerate or throwing up, nothing. I can still eat whatever I want, just in smaller portions. If I start eating and get full, I wait an hour and fini**** I know that this is a horrible habit and I need to break it. My doctor and support groups are over two hours away and I have found no one locally who has had the procedure that I can talk to. I had the RNY. Any way, I just need someone or a group of someones to help me stay on track. If I have someone, a buddy persay, I am more likely to get on track and to stay there. Someone please help me. I have not gained, but I have stopped losing. My highest weight was 379and my current weight is 256. My goal is 170. I would be happy to just be under 200. I can use any advice and help. Thank you for  listening and for your help.  

I had surgery four hours away and no one in this small city does bariatric surgery yet. I have considered starting a bariatric meetup but have never followed through.  You can search for members near you on this site under community.  I wish you well as stress eating is a hard habit to break.

Thank you. I am still feeling my way around on here but I will do a search as soon as I find out how!!  :)

I am 17 months out and am also a stress eater.  I try to distract myself.  Water or a large cup of hot tea sometimes will break me out of the wanting to eat when not hungry. I tell myself if I am really hungry I will get a snack AFTER I drink this all gone.   It is so much head work.  I can eat anything and don't get sick.  I do still get full, which is a life saver because I used to eat to much at once. 

Try putting your leftovers away in the fridge and when you eat them they are then a separate meal or snack from when you started them.  Don't leave it out to finish! You are absolutely right it is a horrible idea  and will bite you in the a$$ if you let it become habit.

You can PM me if you like, I could use a buddy :)  Friend me, then you can see my profile page.

Candy, Maybe it's because I am still new, but it won't let me see your profile to request you as a friend. Will you please PM me or however it is done on here? Thank you! :)

Outshine no sugar added popsicle it feels like your cheating but your not.  I have a chewy spree addiction as long as I have my Popsicles I'm at peace. It's part of your fluid intake. Hang in there you can get thru it!!!

Hi, I'm three years out and am a chronic stress eater. I know they say not to weigh everday but I do.  It's normal for me to bounce around 3 pounds or so. If I get over a certain number, then I know I have to change something until I get back down a few pounds. For me it's putting everything to a clock.  If I eat something at 9 then I know I can't have anything unitl 12:30 or 1. I also constantly have something to drink whether its water or tea or whatever except of course when I eat. Nothing makes me sick and I can eat whatever I want. My doctor said I should eat no more than 4 to 6 times a day. If  I'm creeping up on my 4th or 5th time and still have at least one more meal to go then I try to stop the munching. If you are still eating all the time try to make sure its something like cheese and nuts and not so much of the sweet stuff. Hope this helps. I can definately relate to eating all the time. It's worse at work when the donuts, cookies and bagels come out.  Hope that helps.

 I am so sorry you are going through a rough time now.It is not easy being a stress eater. One thing I think might be a good idea is to talk to your daughter about the stress that you are under and to keep both of your minds of of things maybe get her to make a grocery list with you and shop with you and cook with you.

I know she is only 13.It might help her deal with the stress also. Your friends would want you to take care of yourself to.Use this website for support.I know it is not the same as talking face to face with someone.

I'm SO sorry to hear about everything going on!  It's understandable you'd be totally stressed out.  

My biggest challenge in this process is dealing with feelings without eating.  I, like you, immediately want to chow down whenever I feel bad.    I remember a story an old WW leader told me.  A girl was playing on the playground and fell and scraped her knee.  She started to cry.  Her grandmother offered her a cookie.  The girl looked at her quizzically.  Her grandmother said, "to make you feel better."  The girl then took the cookie and put it on her knee.   The point here, is that food doesn't really solve the problem.

If you really think about it, eating is an attempt to make the feelings go away.  My experience so far has been that it doesn't work all that well.  The bad feelings have a way of cropping back up.  So as unpleasant as it may be, you just need to feel the feelings.  Really feel them.   Sit quietly with yourself, and say " Wow, I'm really sad, (scared, angry, whatever.)"  Feel what that feels like in your body - does your stomach ache? Head feel tension?   Acknowledge that you are feeling something and realize that it's expected that you would feel that way.  Who wouldn't feel lousy going through the things you are going through right now?  The best way past the feelings is straight through them.  

Also realize that feelings are just that - feelings.  They aren't an emergency, nor are they something that should necessarily be gotten rid of.  Given time they will pass.  But if you expect that you will have a lot of feelings during this time, that they will come and go you'll have a different perspective.  

All of this having been said, be gentle with yourself.  Try to plan the healthiest choices you can, and don't beat yourself up for struggling.  You are going through a lot.  

Take care

Jen

Jen...I just read your reply and I felt compelled to reply to you...allow yourself (ourselves) to feel the feelings and think about how it actually makes you feel, physically.  Such caring honest words coming from a very wise woman.  Oh..and "be gentle with yourself" rings so true.  We can be so mean to ourselves with our selftalk and our actions.   I really appreciate what you shared and I noticed that you have a blog?  I will check it out. 

Gaby