12 yrs out - Refelections

Hi all:  I had the RNY in March, 2001.  I just thought I'd come back here to OH and congratulate you on your decision to embark on this amazing (and frustrating) journey!  I always promised that I'd occasionally come back to OH just to check in because I always wondered what happened to folks oonce they had the surgery, got thin and then **poof!** disappeared.  These are a few of things I've learned that you might want to take to heart:

1- You CAN gain the weight back.  Please create a strong foundation of protein and sensible eating in order not to fall back into that trap.

2 - The journey is an emotional rollercoaster that can really freak you out if you aren't fully prepared for it.

3 - The attention (social, sexual, etc.)  that you get once you are thinner is addictive.  FINALLY, you think "Wow, I'm hot!"  It can go to your head, especially if you've never had it before.

4 - If your doctor isn't giving you the support you need, SWITCH!  Period.  Additionally, ask if they can refer you to a therapist to help you through this process.

5 - You WILL learn who your REAL friends are, and where they had catagorized you in their life. People are creatures of habit, and when you are no longer the "fat friend,"  it makes them uncomfortable and they sometimes don't know how to deal with that.  Neither do you, so focus on yourself and your own journey - it's a ***** and half with your eyes on your own papeer...TRUST ME!!

I hope these address a few of the questions and concerns you might have about making this decision.  Eric and his team created this AMAZING site, which was my literal "bible" throughout this process.  It has -like you will- has just gotten better with time, technology and support.  Please don't hesitate to ask me questions.  That's what we're all here for.

May God bless us all...  Noelle B.

Thanks for your reminders!

And thanks for giving me hope for ongoing and long term success as long as I'm doing the work. What I have to do is simple, but it's sure not easy, is it?

I'm a strong advocate for therapy. Surgery does not operate on the brain and can't cut away emotional pain. Therapy can be very useful post-op with adjusting to new body image, which is very resistant to change. It can also be helpful with working on old thinking and habit patterns and establishing new ones, which simply has to happen, especially after the honeymoon ends.

Thanks again!

Hello. Thanks for posting  Just this week I was pushed too far by someone and decided to weed out any people who bring drama to my life. It has been such a relief.  Since getting sick(prior to RNY), I feared  woudl need help so I put up with them.  I figured "Hey, they took advantage and asked big favors so I can totally call on them to return the favor."  They never did even when my favors were 1/100th what theirs were.

Also, people keep telling me it makes them uncomfortable to see me eat so little.  Now two of them won't finish a meal around me so I am not eating with them anymore. 

Lastly a women who literally told me "I have too many friends to be your friend" and "I am a SAHM and you can't hire me for a nutritionist because I would never have time to help you." has offered twice to help me now that I have had RNY and lost weight.  I don't need her help now. She has no experience with RNY.   I am not letting her take any credit for my hard work.  Now I DON"T have time for her or anyone like her.

Thanks for posting! I will go back and read your other posts later.

Hello Noelle B...thanks for the post.  I'll be 10 years post op come November 2014, and everything you mentioned in your post is true as I've experienced it firsthand.  The one thing alot of post-op's have learned is YOU CAN GAIN YOUR WEIGHT BACK.  I got down to a size 12, now back up to a size 14/16 and although I feel bad about it, I know I what to do to get this weight back off and will do it.  However, for the newbies reading this...please don't think having this surgery is all you'll need to do to lose weight...no...this is a tool to help you, but you have to work hard at keeping the weight off.

I still consider this the very best decision I made to enhance my quality of life and know that OH is a wonderful site with alot of helpful information to help before, during and after your journey.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and wisdom!

Hi Guys, thanks for all your responses!

I am doing relatively well postop but I did regain some of the weight (went back up to 240.)  I think it was a psychological thing: Being the big fat girl who was (relatively harmless around other women's men) to being a threat REALLY did a number on my head.   A lot of my relationship changed virtually overnight, and peole I called friends inexplicably avoided me, no longer inviting me places where I'd get more attention than they.   It truly hurt me to my heart.  Like a paroled longtime prisoner who commits a crime in order to back to prison becuase that's what he'd become comfortable with - can't cope with finally being free.  I'd based everything I was on being fat, and once that was gone well, I really didn't know what to do with this new person.  So, I did what I always used to do- EAT.  When the weight came back on, I welcomed it like an old friend.

Flash forward to 2008 - it seems that the technology back then indeed had it's glitches - remember, it was relatively new back in 2001.  Out of the blue I developed problems with my liver, ultimately leading to increasing liver failure for NON ALCOHOL related cirrohsis.  I was on the Donor list for 3 years, getting sicker and sicker.  With me literally on death's doorstep, I had a transplant in 2011. Drs traced it back to my WLS (now 10 years prior.)    You better belive I dropped weight again, going down to the mid 140's, requirng hospitalization for actuallly being UNDERweight and malnourished.  Funny, I used to dream, and BEG to be thin.  140lbs?  Me??  In the old days I would have been in heaven. 

These days I'm around 165-175, a size 14 and I'm cool with it.  Even though I'm now dying, I don't regret having the surgery and know that the surgical process now is leaps and bounds better and safer than it was back then.  So confident am I still with the choice of WLS, I'm supporting my husband's decision to have the LAP band this year.  I guess what I"m trying to say is, like everything else, there is no magical cure.  Deciding to do this is an consent to take the bitter with sweet, especially since the chances of bitter get smaller and smaller these days.  I visited Dr. Herron at hislittle office at Mt. Sinai Hospital and spent a week in the hospital postop.  Now Dr. Herron has a private practice with a partner on a large spread in Long Island, pushing protein drinks and things that preops may need postop (albeit at an escalted price.)  From what I hear these days the WLS process (depending on which you choose) can be done on an outpatient basis with one returning to work in just a few days.  That's awesome. and I don't wish to speak ill of Dr. Herron.  He's a good guy and a great doctor.  Preops just need to keep in mind that this isn't a decision to be taken lightly.  I know that desperation of "PLEASE FIX ME!!" There is NOTHING wrong with you that needs "fixing."   I know I took the long way around but there you have it- that's my point.

God Bless us all:  Noelle B.  

Noelle,

Thanks so much for sharing your journey! I also relate to so much of what you said in your posts. Had lap RNY 9 years ago, lost 120 pounds and over the years regained 50 of it, feeling horrible about myself with every gained pound.  I'm working to get it off but it is slow going - have lost 25 pounds in the past 13 months. Like many postops I've had some health issues with iron absorption and got so anemic that I had iron infusions last year.  The frustrating thing is that I am one who is very compliant with the postop vitamin & mineral supplement regimen and to this day still have a whey protein drink every morning. It's hard to see health problems popping up here and there as a result of my WLS and it's scary to read or hear about really long-term posties who have recently died from complications stemming from nutrition issues. I hope the newer grads *****ad these posts will really take heart that this is the rest of your life and you've got to  work the program every single day. Don't shortchange yourself with subpar vitamins or never drinking protein shakes. For the first three years I only used vitamins made specifically for bariatric surgery patients and then felt I didn't need to spend the cost and started buying the store brand stuff at the warehouse club.  Just cause I can swallow it doesn't mean my rearranged insides can actually absorb or benefit from any of it, so about eight months ago I started investing in myself and buying bariatric supplements again.  I can honestly say I feel a little bit better and my hairdresser keeps commenting on new hair growth and my hair looks thicker. Plus, even though I tried to get the weight off many times before it didn't really start happening consistently until I started getting myself nutritionally sound again.

Sorry to ramble, just grateful to hear how another long-term postop is doing and knowing I'm not out here by mysef!

Mary Ellen