Never reached goal

Ok, I've gained about fifty pounds this last year, eating whatever I want. But then again, I have always been able to do that. For about a year after my RNY I lost weight and stayed with the plan. Then, like all of us, I'd try to eat something I shouln't and I could. I figured out that if I ate sweets it would make me sleep. So that was a way to tune out my life. (Husband left me after surgery, son got arrested, daughter having relationship problems, father dies, mother depressed) Yes, food has always been a comfort. Anyway, I'm 5'5" and the smallest I ever got was a size 14. Now I am back to a 22. I'm so disgusted with myself and I hide out at home. I don't want people to see me. I am wondering if maybe something is wrong with the surgery. I have NEVER dumped in my life. I can eat ice cream, pecan pie, you name it..... celery, salads, etc...... Is that normal for a WLS person who had RNY. I so want to be in control of my eating. For about the first year I could live without being obessed with food. Not now. I wake up wanting food, then eat and feel guilty. What do you all think? Just my mental problems driving me to be a sugar addict? Because I know I am. I can't eat just a cookie. I got to eat the whole damn package! I feel so worthless so I just eat more!

you have been through a very tough time in your family life which has made you emotionally week at this point.you need to spend some time away from home and food make new friends try to talk to people share your interest with them .Dont punish your body by eating more try resisting it.be confident about your self don't think what has happened in the past .look ahead for the future which lies in your hand.    

Thanks so much for your reply!

What helps me is to do low carbs.  Also gluten free - and grain free diet works for me. 

I want more food when I eat carbs. Even so called "good carbs" may start craving circle for me. When I don't eat them "not even a bite" I don't crave them and don't need them.  Evn fruits may casue my BS to raise and then drop wanting me to have more and more. 

i.e. last night I wanted a treat - I had whipped cream and strawberries in my fridge - I knew that that late at night the strawberries may cause for me to get low BS in a middle of the night - so I got a 1/2 cup of whipped cream. Ate that slowly.   That was no sugar or artificial stuff (home made whipped cream)  but enough of creamy wonder for me to be happy about that. 

I do choose fat over carbs any time i try to limit my calories. i.e. cheese over FF carby snack. I would get 1/2 cup full fat yogurt for the same calories as 1 cup FF yogurt.  1/2 cup would keep me fuller longer. The fat free stuff - has enough sugar to cause my BS to raise and then fall - making me more hungry... That works for me.  

What works for you - you need to find out. 

in the past I would make a dip with 1/4 avocado + some salsa and little bit of shredded cheese - and I would use thinly slices zucchini slices instead of chips. Or cucumber slices. 

I also only got down to a size 14 (from a size 32/34 though).

If you think it's a mechanical issue, make an appointment with your surgeon so they can scope you.

Statistics say only 30% of people with RNY get dumping syndrome. I have it, but I've learned how to eat sugar anyway if I want it. Most of us do even if some of us don't admit it.

Sometimes I wake up wanting food too, especially when I have awesome leftovers in the fridge or if there's goodies in the house. If the leftovers are good (and not takeout from a restaurant for instance) then I have them for breakfast if I want. Protein is protein! Doesn't matter if it's eggs or chicken.

Many of us around here are addicts. Today I want a donut. Not any donut, but my favorite indulgence, the custard filled chocolate icing donut. I think maybe I'll have a bite of dark chocolate with my lunch instead. It's not the same, but I also remember how terrible the donuts make me feel when I eat them. I'm happy compromising with myself. I know my cravings are mainly related to anxiety, depression and fatigue right now. The more tired you are and the more crappy you feel, the more you'll probably crave stuff like that. It's actually a very normal response but in people with food addiction, eating issues and body image issues, a very base physiological response turns into a psychological nightmare. If I start thinking my addiction is controlling me, it's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Instead I try to think of the craving as a purely physical response that happens because I'm not getting enough nutrition and I'm tired. So I eat alot more protein (protein shakes are such good treats, too! But I try to eat meat first because it's so filling and the a shake for a snack or dessert) and either I sleep more or I go out and do more. I know that sounds counterintuitive when you're tired, but energy begets energy. Sometimes being a sack of potatoes just leads to more of the same. I just have to follow my instincts on which it is. Sometimes I'm wrong, and make a quick u-turn in the other direction. That means I either have to get out of bed and go do something active, or I need to stop what I'm doing and go to bed. Or read a book with a cup of tea. Something relaxing. But sleep, in my opinion, is very underrated.

Hiding won't help. It allows you to keep going down the same path as before. It's pure avoidance as a coping strategy. And most likely you're the only one that's going to beat you up for your regain and your struggles.

Sounds like you have had a lot of "mental trauma" in your life & have become depressed, with food as your only friend that comforts you.  Even just one of the things that you have gone thru would be enough to depress anybody.  Maybe a few sessions with a counselor for the depression and a nutritionist to help get you back on track.  Don't allow others to bring you down even if it's your family, because you have no control over what other people do.  THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!  Let them live theirs without affecting you.  I know it's difficult but you have to "Let it go."  Get your mental health back and then you can focus on YOU.

Find a good therapist who deals with post op WLS patients. You may need a little extra help, especially with all the mental things you've had to deal with. Many therapists can see what we can't - what we can work on, what's bringing us down and suggest ways to help out. There is talk therapy and medications that work wonders. I know many post ops *****ceived help this way and with the medication the cravings go away, and the talk therapy helps the rest. Don't be so hard on yourself, we all need a little help now and then and most of us aren't perfect every day with our diets either. Reach out for help where you can find it- surgeon, therapist, support group or family/friends. Most post ops don't dump so we have to control ourselves. Get back to basics - protein only or protein forward meals, lots of water and exercise. Get out and get some fresh air - it will help a lot. Take care of yourself.

Jen 11 yrs post op RNY