Need some support

Hello everyone,

I am not sure where to start. Please forgive me if my post is confusing.

I have been in a self destruct type of mode for about a month now. My current goal is to get under 200 pounds. I have not been in the 200's since I was a teenager. I am 34 now. The first week of Feb I was at 201. I am now boucing back and forth from 203-209 depdending on the day. This is because I have been eating carbs ( sweets) stuff that is easy to eat like cookies with my coffee. I don't eat bread or pasta, do not have a desire for it .But, the sweets are making me crazy. I hate the feeling of eating carbs, the brain fog and general lack of energy. Even though I hate the feeling and I know its keeping me from what I want, I still eat them!  I know all too well, that its a vicous cycle and hard to break. I am sad and frustrated.

I read about the 5 day reset. It makes sense and I think I will try it. I am scared though. I would love to hear any of your results/experiences.

I am so scared of maintaince. I have never maintained weight loss. During my life I have lost small amounts of weight and 2 times prior to surgery I lost 150lbs and 120lbs gaining it all back each time and then some.  I put myself in counseling and I still go. I did this before surgery was even considered because I wanted to deal with my issues that led to me being morbidly obese.

I have lost 166 pounds with my sleeve ( 8/2010). My ulitmate goal it to be at 190. I need to have surgery to remove a large pannus the doctors say it weighs approx 30 pounds. So, I know that 190 is a good healthy weight for me. BUT! I keep stopping myself from getting there.

I would love any advice you all have to offer. Thanks for listening ( reading)

Oh, Dear! I'm sorry you're having such trouble. We all have those demons if we admit it..Your goal is SOOOO close you could just reach out and touch it.

Sugar addiction is completely real and it can be a real monkey on your back. Like an alcoholic, no amount of badgering can help from the outside. It's something you really have to do for yourself. The good thing is, the longer you stay away from your drug of choice, the easier it gets. Oh, it's never completely easy but it's easier all the time.

Yes, the 5 day pouch test can reset your pouch and reset your sugar detox..it's after that that you need to be diligent and honest with yourself. You have to know what you can not say no to and stay away from that stuff. get it out of the house, never be alone with it..find a buddy that will help talk you out of having it..JUST LIKE ALCHOLICS ANNON..

You are more than welcome to come and visit our accountability posts and post what you've been doing and eating..we'll talk you out of the failure speak (when you trip up, we know what you need is encouragement to get up, dust yourself off and try again...) we all need some good encouragement..

You might also see about a local support group so you can look someone in the EYE and get encouragement. Look for a food addicts group or WLS group..it's always helpful.

Keep your head up. You have come SOOO far and have your goal right there..it's not that far out there. You CAN DO IT! 

I swear - sometimes we are our own worse enemy.
I congratulate you on achieving this much of your goal & find it highly commendable for sticking with it. I think you should be proud of yourself - b/c i am, thats for sure. Its not an easy thing, mentally - emotionally - physically - or SOCIALLY, to be on that weight rollercoaster. SOmetimes the feelings of failure are overwhelming. But still you rise (reminds me of a Maya Angelou poem Still I Rise by Maya Angelou).
I think, often times, we are all afraid of the unknown & if youve not seen the other side of 200, that unknown can be very intimidating. You are battling the mental picture of yourself. You WANT to be that skinny girl, but maybe still see you as not so much. I know i had difficulty (when i first lost weight) seeing myself as the skinny girl. I was 165 at my lowest, but mentally i still saw myself as that fat girl - even thought the skinny girl was staring me in the face. Perhaps you are still seeing yourself in that way too. So making that mental transition is another battle.
Im also very proud that youve decided to reach out for support & advice. I really think youve come to the right place. Ive found this board in particular to be extremely uplifting & supportive in matters of weight loss as well as with things that seemingly have nothing to do weight loss. However, being mindful of how many of us are emotional eaters - pretty much everything life related (external stressors, work, family, yada yada) are in fact related to our ability to lose & MAINTAIN that weight loss.
The CARB MONSTER will get you every time you let him! But the 5Day Pouch Test (5DPT) WILL help you with that. Ive done it many times myself - Ive even done extended versions of it & I can also say that YES it DOES work & yes, Ive had success with it. You wont lose 30lbs from doing it & losing weight isnt the aim of the program anyway. So that should not be considered a meassurment of success. The aim of the program is to purge your system of carbs. Consider it a detox cleansing your system of carbs.
Is it painful & HARD - heck ya it is!!! Painful in the way of you not being able (allowed) to eat those carbs when you want to, mind you. So its an emotional & mental pain rather than a physical pain. But you will make it through it - you will Rise! I think the 5DPT is a necessary step in helping us over that hill, reminding us that we dont need those comfort carbs to make it through.
I agree with NotTheSame Dawn & welcome you to participate in the daily accountability posts. Theres no judgement, just lots of positive constructive support & information. You know youre not alone in this, but sometimes SEEING that you arent alone does wonders for the mental process. If you are not already doing so, i also encourage you to find a platform that works for you & begin logging your intake/ cals/ fats/ carbs/ protein. It really helps b/c you SEE what youve eatin each day - you SEE what your numbers are & more able to take control & adjust those numbers if necessary. It takes the guess work & naivety complete out, making you more responsible & persoanlly accountable for your own successes.

Taking each thing on will allow you to have mini successes, winning small battles which in the end will enable you to win the war. You can do this!
I hope to see you here more often :)
Candace

I wanted to thank you both for responding. It really means alot and it helps to hear from others!

I am starting the 5 day Monday, have to go stock up on the right things and purge this house tomorrow! It will be good to cleanse and reset.

I wasn't saying I need to lose 30 lbs, I was saying that I have approx 30 pounds of skin and tissue that has to be removed by having surgery ( very large pannus). To get to my end goal I need to lose 15 pounds. To get to my short term goal I need to lose 8. =) It's so close yet with my behaviors lately its so far away!

Thank you for the suggestion about tracking, do you have a platform that you prefer? I will be hanging out here more, I really have enjoyed reading the post and have learned alot just in the past two days.

Thanks ladies!

Oh my gosh! You are SOOOOO CLOSE! Just THINK about how good its going to feel to realize the other side of that 15lbs!
You know - this brings to mind a quote Ive seen on someones signature. "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels". I thought it was cute when i first saw it, but it stuck w/ me & I thought, you know - that IS really true.

You can check out the following tracking systems:
Fitday
Sparkpeople
Livestrong
Nutrition Data
Ive used LiveStrong (formerly MyDailyPlate) in the past. I also have profiles on fitday, nutrition data & here on OH.com, but the one thats working best for me currently is CalorieCount. In addition to that, I have a journal where i actually read labels & write things down. I compare MY totals w/ that of CalorieCounts (i like to be accurate). Differnet platforms work best for different ppl - so find something that works for you.

I would also suggest you check out The World According to EggFace (thanks to NTSDawn for pointing that one out - i love this site!!) & HungryGirl they both offer lots of tips & tricks for maintenance & making that WLS - healthy lifestyle transition.

I second the other ladies in that you CAN do this.
I also have a monster sweet tooth.  I find what helps me is to load up on protein.  The more protein I have, the less I crave sweets. 

I also find that its hard for me to have a little bit of bad sweets.  There is no middle ground for me, so I have to either completely forego the bite or two of cookies/cake or pay the price when I eat the whole darned thing.  When I absolutely "need" something sweet, I've started substituting a piece of fruit which are good carbs.  So far its working pretty well. 

 Hi. I am new here and am going through the same things. Six years out from GBS and deep in the throws of my carb addiction. What is this "re-set" everyone is talking about? I've never heard of it and need to do something. I am so encouraged to have found some support!

I've certainly been there!  For me, the 5-day pouch test cold-turkeyed me off carbs and sugar.  It really wasn't bad  - I made sure I had everything I needed in the house, my husband knew what I was doing and gave me lots of support, and I made sure I consumed something every three hours so I wouldn't be hungry and tempted.   I followed the plan to a tee and have not had sugar or refined carbs since.  I'm on week 4 of my eating plan--focusing on proteins and veggies.  Try not to think of the 5-day pouch test as a way to lose weight but as the beginning of eating a better, healthy way.  I write down everything I eat and drink in a journal and post it on OH.  Someone suggested myfitnesspal.com and I made a few entries but need to spend more time there.

I think the best source for the 5-day pouch test is www.5daypouchtest.com.

We're with you!