Scared of Maintenance...Thinking I Should Lose More???

Hello I'm new to this forum. I just made it to my goal weight a few days ago and have been lurking around here, reading posts. Today on my blog I wrote the following and wanted to get some advice/tips/suggestions/counsel/feedback. Thanks in advance.

So I've been thinking about this even before I hit goal and now I'm not sure if I'm right in my thinking or just too obssessed. See I want to lose a couple of more lbs. Part of me is questioning this because of the amount of people who tell me I'm either too skinny or going to disappear or will be anorexic if I don't stop. My husband is dead set against anymore weight loss.

I just would feel more comfortable being at 140lbs (that's just 5lbs away). I think I'm still not where I want to be. At the same time I want to be reasonable and consider things like the major fact that I'm scared to not have a goal of losing weight. I'm terrified of regaining the weight because I'll slip into a comfort zone and not pay attention to what I'm eating. I've already skipped out on the gym last week and haven't gone this week :-( Even though I'm determined to take my butt to Zumba TODAY!

Part of it is because although, I can see more often than not that I am slim, I still feel like I have some areas I'd like to slim down. Perhaps this should be through strength training (lose inches) and not necessarily weight???

How do you make a decision like this?

I thought I knew what I wanted but now I'm not sure. Too many points to consider.

I feel your pain..when I got to goal I just sat there stunned.."now what?" is all I could think..I mean for years and years I was either giving up and gaining weight or working hard and dieting..I wasn't at all sure I knew HOW to maintain at all..and that scared me to death!

I also get the feeling that you want to lose more. Not for the sake of getting smaller but think about this..in the past, when you lost a pound or two, you got happy..it made your day! When you were up a couple of pounds, poof..just a horrible day, bad mood, maybe even tears and failure thoughts..

It's the same after surgery and after goal. I see that scale number and it's all I can do to keep from dancing when the number is smaller and everything I can do to keep from bouncing off the walls when I'm up a fraction..

As for being comfortable..When I was about 9 months out I was at 146 pounds. I thought I was done losing weight. I thought my goal was 150 because for as long as I remember, I felt the best at 150..family told me I looked best at 150...150, as far as I was concerned, was the magic number. The surgeon told me that my goal was 125..I thought the man had lost his mind! But you know, my surgeon has been doing this a whole lotta years and he had seen my body type hundreds of times..and he knew. 125 was my goal weight..and that's where I got down to..and that's about where I am staying..

Not to say that I don't think I need to put on some muscle. I figure with some toning, I should weigh about 130..can I get there? Wow..because the scale number goes up (and I feel crappy about it) it's hard..I'm up to 128.8 and I consider that a victory..

My suggestion to you after all this tyraid of nonsense is to stay where you are right now..let your body settle down and settle into the weight you are at right now..don't lose another pound..just stay right there and see how your body feels with it. You may be wrong about your goal or where you feel best..Trust your surgeon for a bit and see if your body just settles right there. Exercise and build some muscle and see what happens..

Very well said, Dawn

Thank you so much for replying and sharing your story. I think I will see how I do in this weight and just still keep very vigilant about what I put in my mouth - I'm sure that's what I should alwasy be doing even with maintenance.

Thanks!

Originally I wanted to be 160 because that would be BMI "normal."  The doc thought that was too low; but, I rate his opinion not too highly.  Then I saw a picture of myself when I was around 200 and thought "WOW, who is that crypt keeper?"  That made me change to 195 because it would be under the number 200.

So I set my goal at 195 +/- 5.  To stay there I keep up the cardio religiously and strength training whenever possible.  Cardio MUST BE 3 days a week, strength should be 2.

All I can say is: pick a number and stay there (+/- 10 seems to work for women).  Never stop excercising.

I hear that... I was doing 3X a week Zumba and last week I just didn't. I just need to get back in there an no excuses. I actually love Zumba so not sure what's going on there.

Another point is the whole +/- Xlbs I'm going to have to get used to that, because I think I would freak out with any kind of gain. That's just something I need to wrap my head around.

Thanks

Something that kept me out of the freaking out about gain/loss arena was changing my focus from WEIGHT loss to BODY COMPOSITION.

Because during maintenance, few people stay the same weight day in and day out, we have a bounce of a few pounds up and down, depending on sodium, carbs, activity and quite honestly, whether you moved your bowels before weighing.  :} 

So, instead of my focus being STAY X WEIGHT NO MATTER WHAT! My focus was making sure I had at the very least my minimums in protien, water, moved my booty, made more nutritious choices than otherwise, and got good rest. 

I do still log my food N setch, but that's just something I need to do because I cannot do the intuative eating thing - but my focus is not on staying the same WEIGHT every day.  I lift weights and am nearly 3 years out, so my body COMPOSITION changes (more muscle mass, less fat mass) and I cannot *see* it with my eyes, but I can feel it in my clothes, and my weight stays the same, so getting myself hydrostatically weighed (or if you have a bodpod available to you) helps me not play games in my head about whether I should lose or gain.  I have an understanding of what my muscles, innards, bones, and skin weigh and what IS fat, and if my body fat is a healthy percentage. 

Freaking out is rarely helpful in the long term.

good luck, girlie!

Until I was 44 years old and had surgery I let a damn scale control my life.  The day I went under the knife I chose a new plan-good health and fitness and let the scale stop when it is done. 

I've never regretted it.  I still weigh myself every Friday.  I fluctuate in a 10 lb range.  I do not obsess about the number.  I am more freaked out when my jeans feel tighter, so when that happens, I cut back a bit. 

I do not starve myself, and I do not miss my workouts....I workout 5-6 days a week and have a substantial amount of muscle which means I weigh more than the "average bear".

Keep focused on new fitness goals....and only use the scale as a guide.....NOT as the determining factor on how you feel about yourself.

Kim

i have been wrestling the same thing... i know i wanted to be 175-180... but with the skin i carry n yes hearing people say i am too thin or that i dont look 215pounds, i wonder if the excess skin is the cuprit that i am carrying. i am up for a hernia repair next week n i will loose the skin on my tummy with it. so i have been tryin maintenance right now to see how much skin i lose... i hear i could lose 30lbs from it if not more... this is what make me wonder about the excess skin n its weight... n how to factor that in to know where i should be.