Fallen Banster- Back on track- help please

So, confessions of a fallen bander. I have had my band for about 3 1/2 years. My band was my best friend for the first 2 1/2, but the last year has been a major struggle for me. I lost 88 pounds, just 15 from my true goal. I ended up pregnant, very unexpectedly...twice and lost both babies. I have a lot of baggage, including the loss of my 16 year old daughter almost 8 years ago, and needless to say,after 27 years of infertility to find myself unexplectedly expecting (even at 46) and then to lose it (twice) was devastating. I went through a horrible time emotionally, and the bottom line is I have finally come out on the other side of my loss....30 pounds heavier. I am disappointed in myself, but determined to get back on track and get that 30 PLUS the other 15 off. Has anyone else found themselves at the bottom of a downhill slide and have advice for me. I would greatly appreciate the support. Sorry for the length of my post.

You have been through far too much to be disappointed in yourself! Wow. A weaker person would have fallen completely apart and to just have gained 30 pounds..wow..I think you're a wonderwoman!

Stress is a horrible thing. in 2011 I lost my dad; my beagle was bitten by a rattlesnake and it took the total balance on two credit cards to save her; I can barely pay the minimums on those now; we lost our other dog suddenly. And now my cat, 13 years old soon is sick and has lost more than half his normal body weight..I'm begging him to eat, can't afford to take him to the vet but I'm doing the best I can..spoon feeding him 8-10 times a day..I'm EXHAUSTED and so I also slip.

My best advice to you is this: Start by journaling your food to see what you ARE doing and what you ARE eating..then look at the list after a couple of days..See what you need to change. You don't want to try and change everything at once but change a bit and get encouragement from the fact that you've succeeded and then change a bit more..

Increase your protein, attempt to make your carbs more vegetative (veggies and fruit rather than bread, pasta, rice..), move more..Park further from the store, rather than park in front of the television, walk, vacuum, sweep, scrub something.

Most of all, know that you are not alone! All of us are human and fall short of what we think is perfect..we aren't perfect. We aren't made to be but we get to try again..

thank you -- I have also fallen off -- have gained about 30 pounds and would like to get back on track due to stressors in my life also.  I have definitely been digesting too many carbs and not enough protein.  had weight loss surgery in 2007.  just know that she is right, don't give up and take baby steps if needed to get back on track whch is what I will do starting this new year.  any other suggestions out there, please let me know

Thanks guys. I began tracking my food again a couple of weeks ago and am proud to say that I have been on the treadmill 5 of the last 7 days. Also doing the small things like parking further etc as you suggested. Cleaned out the pantry and refrigerator and got rid of the holiday stuff so the temptations are limited. I know I can do this, I have done it before, I just hoped not to have to do it again....but oh well. I well know htat life doesn't always bring what you expect it too. Thank you for your support and I will look forward to seeing your future posts. And Dawn, hang in there. I hope your animals do ok, they are so part of a family. Non pet lovers don't understand that.

I can relate to your life struggles. Our 29 year old son committed suicide, my husband went into shock, Our other son and I felt like he had no energy or time for us. Life just rolled on. I finished my second graduate degree, despite no support from my husband. He was so numb. We moved from Memphis to Clarksville. He thought a new job would help, but it caused more stress or me. What I used to handle this stress. Food. I remember the day I got off track. I ate my first doughnut, after being without sugar for 2 1.5 yrs. I had lost 103 lbs, went from size 24 to 14. I am so miserable. Decided to reach out again. Luckily I found BOTT. I am shocked how many of my peers are no longer on line.

Sdaviscs,
I am so sorry for your loss and struggles. We just have to remind ourselves that we are strong and we can and will do this! With support from each other, and hopefully your husband will rebound (have you guys sought counselling?) will be able to support as well. As I read your post, I found it ironic that I too am oringinally from Memphis, born and raised. We have been gone since 1988, but I still have family and friends there. If I can be of support to you, please let me know. I have started off the last couple of weeks with a bang. I am back on the treadmill and tracking my food intake. I am down 9 pounds so far We will do this together!
Susan

 I applaud all of the courage you all have.  I found your post because I am struggling to get on track after having a baby.  I am 36 and I have a 6 yr old daughter and due to blood pressure problems when I was pregnant with her and afterward I had been unable to lose weight or get off the medication, I tried a pregnancy safe hbp medication but it along with an antibiotic caused me a drug induced hepatitis.  That is what prompted my weight loss surgery 2.5 yrs ago and I had no anticipation of having another child at that point.  Fortunately I changed doctors and did all the right things and was blessed with a baby boy almost 6 months ago.  Since having him I have had to become a stay at home mom (I've never not worked so this is very hard for me to adjust to although I love being here with them), I have been back and forth to specialists to finally discover that I have fibromyalgia and they haven't regulated me on medication as yet so pain is a daily problem for me and exercise is out of the question (I was running 2 miles a day prior to pregnancy and 160 lbs.  Along with my children and my husband we have my mother living with us and she has MS and she is a challenge to get motivated.  We also have 2 dogs, a cat and a turtle.  It's never quiet in our house with a little one I have a hard time eating when I'm supposed to and eating what I'm supposed to because I just seem to grab whatever is available.  None of us is alone in the struggle but sometimes we all need to be reminded of that.  I got on the scale today weighing 200 on the nose and I know I can only go down from here.  Good luck to all of you, thank goodness we're all just a post away for a boost.

pll727, What a busy household! My losest weight was about 175 and I hit 209 before the new year. I am back down to the 200 mark and this week will but back in to wonderland. I never thought I would have to do that again, but here I am and it is what it is. We need to remember that we can only care for those around us if we do what we need to do to care for ourselves. As moms, we do not tend to be very good at that. But that includes making sure we eat, and eat right, and find the time to exercise (when you are physically able). I too struggle with all these things, but as selfish as it sounds, we sometimes need to put ourselves at the top of the list so that we can take care of the rest of the list. You are right about not being alone, and I had gotten out of the OH habit. I am so glad I am back on and in contact with others working towards to same goals, with the same hurdles. Hang in there and I will be here to cheer you on!

I am one of the fallen too!  My lowest weight was 156 in September 2010 and I am back up to 170...It may seem like only 14 lbs. but it is KILLING my self-esteem.  I feel like crap all the time so what do I do - stay in the house and continue to eat!  I know that exercise makes me feel better but of course I stop and wonder a month later why I feel so depressed.  I know what foods are good for me but I can't remember the last time I ate a fruit or vegtable.  I work two jobs - about 55 hours a week and I am always tired.  Maybe if I would get my butt to the gym I wouldn't be so tired. 

What kills me is that I ended a terrible marriage in 2010.  I should be so happy but yet I always feel bad about myself?  I don't think any of it ever goes away - over eating, low self-esteem, that overall feeling of just being different and...well FAT!  It's all a constant battle and I just gave up :( 
So you are definately no alone!

Jenny,
I know what you mean about the self esteem. I feel worse now than I did at my highest weight 60 pounds heavier. All we can do is work on it, we were successful before, so we know we can do it!!
Have you talked to anyone? we have a therapist that we see whenever we feel like we need to, have ever since our daughter passed away. we have seen her now for over 7 years, so it is like talking to a trusted neutral friend who knows ALL our baggage! It is helpful for me. I know one of the reasons that i gained was that I refused to talk....to anyone including her. I guess we live and we learn.