7 years out and developing an eating disorder?

Hi guys!

I'm 7 years post-op and am way below my goal weight (135) at 105.  Over the last six months or so I've lost about 30 pounds.  I do have a few psych diagnoses and take meds for those.  We adjusted one of the meds to help with anxiety and therefore appetite...  It is helping SOME

Basically I wanted to remind you guys to get yearly physicals and CBC blood work done.  I just got my results back and I'm anemic and malnourished.  I guess my regular multi-vitamins aren't good enough - back to chewables for me when I finish this round of prescription strength supplements and injections..

I've been referred out to an eating disorder specialist because my psychiatrist thinks I'm becoming anorexic.  He might be right.  I do some crazy things with regards to eating....  or shall I say NOT eating.  My pouch still works as it should, so even if I'm starving, the restriction is still there.   

The sneaky thing is this has become something of a game to me and I have an unnaturally obsessive relationship with my scale.  I just can't bear seeing the numbers over 109.  As long as I'm below 110 I feel like i'm ok.  I'm too thin.  I know logically I need a few more pounds but so help me God I will NEVER be near 300 lbs again.

So um - yeah - I think I have some issues.  Go figure - the girl who couldn't stop eating now can't start eating.....   Has this happened to anybody else?

I feel your pain..I have the same love/hate relationship with 130..I know that I should exercise and build some muscle..I'm lazy and (and this is the real problem) I know that if I do build muscle, that number on the scale is gonna climb..no doubt about it..it will climb..

So I walk, I walk alot..when my muscles ache, I do some yoga but aerobics? Nuh uh, not me, no way, no how..

So I didn't weigh two days in a row. I got to where I'd only weigh as soon as I get up, after I go to the bathroom, before I get dressed, naked..So if I get dressed and forget, nope..not gonna weigh..

I don't have any answers for you at all whatsoever..but I feel your pain..I do take at least twice the recommended vitamins. multi vitamins, twice a day, calcium three times a day, vitamin D, Biotin..all spread out..and I missed my CBC this last July..My surgeon wanted me to drive all the way down there (85 miles) for him to say "You're fine. Here's your CBC order.." Money is tight so I don't wanna..so I'm waiting till my regular PCP appt on Nov 1st and she'll order my CBC..

Unfortunately my cbc was not so good.  I'm folate anemic, low in d, b6, b12, and malnourished.  So the doctor has me taking injections every week and prescription strength supplements until this terrible fatigue and depression lifts.  Working hard on it!

I still weigh every day and obsess badly.

I have seen anorexia before. There was a girl that lurked on this list for some time..Amy..she is a friend of mine on myspace and was really sick..I do believe it is a real issue and it happens after surgery..not in high numbers but enough that it's a concern. I do believe that obesity isn't in the stomach but in the mind..It's an addiction which starts with the mental outlook so it stands to reason that the opposite of being fat isn't the opposite but nearer than we believe..

Hopefully the therapy will help you..But you really do have to change your mind. You had the surgery to be healthy and now you're behavior is making you unhealthy again..Pray on it and work on it..I'll be praying for you too..

Hi,

I have worked in an eating disorder residential home.  The fact that you are acknowleding that you may have ED means you are one step ahead of most.  I hope you do get some professional help.  There are tons of support systems out there to help.  Even if you need to go to a center, many are very pleasant as far as location and you will make long lasting friends when living with others with similar issues.  Let us know how things go.

Some psych meds will make you gain weight.

One I know of is Geodon and it is for those who are
bipolar. one possible side effect is extreme weight gain.

Geodon is one of the drugs I take :-)

It's happening to me, although I'm not doing it on purpose. I eat all the time but can't gain any weight. At least I stopped losing. I evened out at about 118 now, but it is way below what they wanted for me. I am very thin although the extra skin helps to keep me from looking over annorexic I suppose. The last pictures that I put up of myself on here I am at my goal weight of 130. That was over a year ago I believe. I am only 3 years out as of September 12th.  Without all the skin I would only weigh about 98 lbs, and some of that weight would be from my bones being heavier  then a normal person who has been thin all her life. My doctor says that when you are heavy all your life, your bones also get heavier to help support the extra weight. I guess that makes sense. I don't have any psychological issues (although my husband might disaggree lol) but I hope that you get some help there. That fear of getting fat again is normal. We all have it. But don't let it control you. even 160 is way awesome compared to 300 lbs. Keep that in perspective. You have to see how beautiful you are in God's eyes. You are just as beautiful to Him at 105 as you were at 300. He looks at your heart and that really is all that matters. Losing weight helps boost our self confidence, but it shouldn't ever define who you are. I like your advice about yearly physicals and bloodwork. I wish I could go an do that, but I don't have insurance. I will just keep doing the best I can with eating and taking tons of vitamins. I don't need bloodwork to know that I am manbourished. Thinking about getting on some Prenatal vitamins. Those are like Multivitamins on steriods or something. My pasty white and fatigued face gives away my anemia. No amount of coffee can take care of that. My B12 injections don't help with the Iron deficiency. What a battle we have huh? One extreme to the other. I hope that you get the correct perspective on yourself and nip this thing in the butt. If you pray, pray for me. I think they may have Bypassed too much of my intestines during surgery. I am nauseated after every meal and again, I can't even put on a pound not matter how many times I eat chinese food, chicken nuggets or other high calorie, high protein foods (as much as I can tolerate without dumping... got that down to a science heh heh). Last time I seen my doctor, she said, "Amber, you need to gain weight. Don't worry about keeping your calories low anymore. If you see a cookie and you want that cookie, you eat that cookie"   Might I suggest the same for you? Hungry? grab a snickers lol. (just make sure it's the fun size so you don't throw up)

I TOTALLY understand.  I've had some more loss and although I know I need to gain some it's tough not wanting to see a 12? on the scale.  This WLS stuff is a wild mind game.

Hope you get your vitamins and nutrition up soon.


hugs,