Anybody 5-6 years out and maintaining without a struggle?

Delayed response to this post, but I've revisited this site after a couple of years and this post also struck me as one to post to. 

I think sometimes its nice to highlight the good long term results and reflect on why they happened, Its nice to read all of these posts and see others successful, so pardon the long post below!

This Sept I will be 4 years out.  My original weight loss was from 286 to 164 (lowest maintainable).  I kept the weight off for about 1.5 years and then went through divorce which resulted in the loss of 220 pounds in the form of a disparaging spouse, but a gain of 18 lbs.  I blame emotional eating, a return to old habits and alcohol for that weight gain ( I was single, I was thinner, I partied ).

Last year, I met my husband, and since we started dating I've lost the excess weight and an additional 13lbs from my lowest weight putting me at a weight of 151 (sometimes I can pull off 149 if I time it just right ;)). 

I've been truly shocked and sometimes concerned by this outcome.  I did NOT expect to lose 13 additional pounds 3 years out without even trying.   So it got me thinking about how it happened  and here are some of my thoughts around how to make this successful:

First and foremost - its the tool.  I don't know if there is research out there,if there are different techniques or different ways to do the RNY, but my tool has always worked and still works to this day. 
I just don't desire the large volumes of food - sure there is an emotional impulse in me years later to want to eat, but when I see a full plate of food, it just isn't appealing.  When I do "pu****", my stomach revolts and i still throw up anything that it refuses to digest.  I make good choices - to this day I still break off the same size portions of food, but in my weak times, the tool is always there to tell me to stop.

Second most effective, and what I really would be interested in hearing from you all and seeing research  about, is that I have very little interest in sweets. I will only take one or two bites of ice cream, one or two of cake, etc.  I will nibble forever on an oreo cookie.  Anything more than that and I will get sick.  I just don't want anything super sweet.  I can't even for sure say that its dumping because I get to feeling yucky so quickly that I don't eat a lot of sugar and so I don't have any severe reactions. 

I don't know if its my biology or something my surgeon did differently, but despite my best efforts at trying to go back to old habits, my tool just won't let me...and I think that has helped a lot.

With my tool working, I would wonder how I gained weight and I know I gained weight because of alcohol.  Because my tool had always worked, the weight gain wasn't food related.  I learned how to drink without the sugar problems and because of the way I absorb alcohol, I would drink A LOT.  Those empty calories to my adjusted body just piled on the pounds. 

I drink very limited now (mostly because the alcohol effects me so badly I don't like how I act under the influence anymore) and I think that has contributed to the stop in weight gain and perhaps the weight loss.

Finally, I think the last factor is my new husband.  He is 5'11" and 130lbs soaking wet.  Yes, he has "one of those" metabolisms.  Always busy, barely eats.  Its irritating.  HOWEVER, the fact that he is opposite in his relation to eating has really given me insight unto my eating habits.  I've learned how much of my life I've planned around food - time of day, where we go - almost all of it has been food related-"where should we stop to eat" "what should I take out for dinner tonight" "we should have friends over for dinner". Those questions are all normal and seem reasonable, but if they are what  drives your activity and occupy your mind all day like they do for me thats when there is a problem!  His life isn't like that at all - its about hanging out and being together, and he's taught me that I can do that with him, my friends and my family WITHOUT having snacks available.  His plans start with having fun, being together, seeing our friends, love, and the food is just fit in as needed for fuel.  Imagine going out on the lake without a cooler full of food!! I never had before, but we do now!

Don't get me wrong, I don't like it sometimes.  I still retreat to the comfort of planning for my next meal and look forward to the fancy restaurant for dinner sometimes, but I feel that the neurosis around that is slowing going away, and I can enjoy the moment ...without thinking about what I'm going to put in my mouth next.

I bear the daily burden of the gift of weight loss and the constant fear of gaining it all back and returning to my obese life as a failure. I hold on to the reality that I don't have the willpower right now to overtake my emotional need for food, which is why I have the tool.  The real secret is to stop trying to find ways to cheat the tool, and therefore cheat myself.

Jennifer