Frustrated

I feel alone in this right now.  I don't feel I can post this anywhere else because people struggle and I've seen comments from others that it aggravates them when people post about this.

I've lost so much weight since my divorce and I'm struggling to put some back on.  I eat (as much as I can and as often as possible) and I can't put weight on.  I need to buy new clothes but everything I find that is reasonably priced doesn't come in a small enough size.  I can't justify paying $60-70 for a pair of pants, it's not in my budget.  Yes, I've gone to resale shops, Goodwill locally and I've found a couple of pair of pants there just isn't much available.  I've bought a few dresses and wear them but everyday dressing up I don't want to do.  And, by golly I have to shave my legs everyday too (I hate shaving, LOL).

I'm drinking two protein shakes a day plus eating 3 meals and 3 snacks.  I eat so often that now I'm having trouble getting in enough water.  I'm really at wits end, my surgeon's office isn't any help I was told "just eat".  Ugh!

My PCP isn't worried, he said it's very common after a divorce to lose weight.  I "get that", I do; however it isn't helping me put on a few lbs.  I am tired of people saying I'm too small and I need to eat. 

Venting!

Hi Cajungirl:
I became a member on this board a little over five years ago and I use to follow you, Stephanie and Lynn on the grads board all the time.  I have never been much of a poster usually just a lurker but I have read your posts through the years.  I am sorry for your divorce, I know that is a tough thing to deal with.  One of my good friends who had the surgery first before me, went through the exact same thing.  She is 5 foot tall and weight about 110 lbs. at the time.  Due to the stress of the divorce she lost down to about 94 lbs.  That was over a two years ago.  After about 10 months her life started again and she had been able to get her weight back up to around 107 lbs.  All I can offer to you is to be kind to yourself, maybe up the protein count in your shakes and add a few more carbs on the weekend.  This may help to level you out and put a few lbs. back on.  It doesn't matter weather we are overweight or underweight ,remarks always cut both ways by well meaning folks trying to help.  You always look pretty in your pictures so enjoy the dresses and hopefully by the time weather cools you will be back up a little on your weight and back into some of your pants.  Take care.
Tess

Hi Tess, thanks for the support.

Yes those remarks hurt either way.  I'm sorry your friend went through divorce too.  It's tough but it really did need to happen.

My niece offered to come shopping with me this weekend, hopefully we'll find a sale or two somewhere :).

You look fabulous!

Hi There,

I am no stranger to your troubles,  when I had my plastics a few years back I got septic and lost alot of weight, I felt and looked awful, funny I wanted all my life to be thin and then I hated being so thin and also did not want to invest in a bunch of clothes so I wore stuff that was way too big, I did eventually put the weight back on but it took some time.  When I developed three large fistulas I put even more weight on, I am not sure which was worse, lol. 

Anyhow I too am now seperated, became a single mother over night almost and my son and I live alone in Kansas City MO now a good 1200 miles from home.  Stress is through the roof and as you already I have developed a ulcer and have lost 17lbs recently.  I do not feel too thin but am stuggling to get in enough calories due to the ulcer and the anxiety I feel.  My surgeon said I needed to manage my stress to get my ulcer under control....what a concept, lol. 

Hang in there keep on with the shakes and I am sure it will get better, it always does!

Blessings,
Melissa

I totally understand your feelings. It doesn't matter if I eat or not, if I'm stressed, I lose weight..I track every single damn thing that goes in my mouth and even if I'm getting 2000 calories a stinkin day I can lose a pound a week by just being worried or stressed..When my dad died I lost three pounds and I would have kept on losing weight too had the stress not stopped!

I hate it because the same reasons as you..people think it's okay to tell us that we're tiny, that we're skinny. that we need to gain some weight...REALLY? No! I thought I weighed 9000 pounds and I'm dieting..sheesh..makes me wanna smack someone upside the head some times..I guess my point is, maybe you can tune out those people? Maybe that's part of your stress? 

I hate to advocate eating stuff you shouldn't but chips and stuff...preztels, french fries..hot dogs..I can't think of anything else. Just more of everything..more often.

go ahead and vent..that's what we're here for!

 I had too much weight loss for a time and my solution was to eat something that could be stopped.

Rather than make meals bigger, or snack a lot (which would be hard to stop) I made two changes:

1)  I switched to regular foods.  No more fat free this or low that.  This added 300 calories per day instantly.

2)  I had a Starbucks Frappucino every day.  I don't dump and that added another 600 calories give or take.  Eventually I stopped losing and then stopped having a Frappucino.

Unlike a larger meal, a Frappucino is either ON or OFF.  I found it easy to simply quit.

I am sorry.  I don't have the answers, but I am there, too.  I was 230-250 for the longest time, then started losing again, and it seems like the more I eat, the more I lose.  I don't feel comfortable, people tell me I am too skinny.  Some people say, 'Well, your BMI is 18.9 so that's fine."  I don't care about the number, and, at my height, that is 4 lbs from underweight.  I am 6' and 140 lbs!!!!!!  My doc also says eat more, have milkshakes.  Honestly, I am disgusted by what I eat.  Last night for dinner, I had a huge porterhouse steak and a baked potato the size of a newborn and about 1/3 cup of sour cream.  I also had steamed zucchini, but, between the zucchini and potato, I added a half stick of butter. This is not an isolated incident.  I eat like this ALL THE TIME for the last 6 months, and still lose.  My health (except for low iron) is "PERFECT" on paper, so I guess I shouldn't complain, but I would really like a little more weight. :(  I have lost 250 lbs, and I have no jiggle at all, even my extra arm skin and pouch disappeared.  My bones hurt.  I can't get comfortable.

I hope everything works out for you.  Like I said, I don't have the answers, but I can relate.

I'm so sorry; been through divorce twice myself. I'd suggest not drinking the shakes any longer and replacing them with high calorie snacks like trail mix with nuts and fruit. When I was a little too thin, the trail mix gave me some healthy high calories. Also, peanut butter, avocado, other foods with high calories. I rarely drink shakes any longer and my labs are excellent. You'll get through this difficult period and someday look back with gratitude. xoxo

Do you think the inability to gain weight could be to do with something else entirely?

A friend of mine lost a lot of weight through breast feeding after having her first child, and was about 20 pounds underweight for a long time. She used to get anxiety attacks and no matter what she ate she couldn't put on any weight.

Finally she had some allergy tests done and it turns out she had gluten intolerance and fructose malabsorption. She now eats a gluten and fructose free diet and within 2 months gained to a healthy weight, eating healthy foods.

I hope you find what works for you.

Don't feel alone..I had RNY 2/26/2009. My highest weight was 303 goal weight 140 weight now 135.
I've done everything by the book except for exercising. I'm afraid to exercise because I don't want to lose any more weight. I was told to eat more carbs. I also eat 3 meals and snacks a day plus two protein bars and drink 64 or more ounces of water a day. I was told that I would be able to eat more as time went on but I've found that I still get full real quick. As for clothes have you tried target. I don't know what size you were but I've had pretty good luck there and are local goodwill store. Good luck and if I can help just let me know... Email address is [email protected]...