re: I need help

Hi everyone,

I had RNY in Oct 2008 and got lost 170 pound VERY quickly.  I had lots of trouble eating in the beginning and almost displayed some anorexic type behavior.  Anyway, I maintained for some time. Then had a shock when my husband tried to commit suicide (I found him, resusciatated him ect).

Anyway, long story short... while he was in the hospital, I spent some time back in the states with my mom (needed to get away from home and I knew he was in good hands in the hospital).  After returning, my stress level was through the roof.  I was constantly in fear he would try something again.  I started eating to comfort myself.  (this was Spring, '10)  I am now spiraling out of control.  I eat simple carbs, I am drinking wine, and I am drinking with my meals.  I know what I'm doing wrong.  I discuss myself beyond belief.  I have gained nearly 30 pounds back in the last year.  My size 12s are getting to tight, and I am scared that I am going to sabatoge all the good I've done for myself.

I live in Austria, I don't have access to all the wonderful high protein bars, snacks ect. that you all do. I do, however, have some protein powder left from before and am thinking of trying the 5 day pouch test to get off the carbs.  They are without a doubt a HUGE addiction for me.....  

Any words of help would be most appreciated.  PLEASE do not flame me..... you can't possibly make me feel any worse than I already do.

Thanks in advance
Linda

Hi Linda,

I am also going through some big time stress. It is the first since I had my RNY that I have high stress levels. On June 7th I have to have my large colon removed. This is totally unrelated to my WLS but I am scared to death. I too have been drinking wine and I have been eating crackers with melted cheese all day. I am afraid that I too am stress eating and drinking.

I also have bipolar disorder that I am under disability from. I understand the desparation you are feeling from worrying about someone that might try suicide again. I had ECT (electro convulsive therapy) many times to bring me out of some pretty serious depressions quickly. My ECT left me with a whole year that I do not remember and seriously affected my cognitive functions. I hope that your husband has a very good doctor. This is key to his wellbeing and yours. My daughter inheritied my mental illness and has tried suicide 3 times. I know how frightening that can be.

If you need a friend I am here. Perhaps we can be buddies and work together to overcome our difficulties.

Diana

DIana,

Thanks for your kind words.  I hope and pray your surgery goes well!

I've always been the one who battled depression and suicidal thoughts.  He covered his up like a pro and when the suicide was attempted I was absolutely blown away.   We're lucky that we live here (in Austria) and they kept him in hospital for about 6 weeks after the attempt and the care he received during and after was wonderful.

The stress of it all is still there, but much better, that's why I need to/can focus on getting myself back on track.  It was so hard to post about the weight gain because I feel like such a failure!  It was the best thing I could have done though.  I need to fight it head on, and not pretend it isn't happening.

I think we both need to start by cutting the wine and munchies....  I know how hard it is.  But just think about the empty calories....   Please stay in touch.  Maybe we can help each other.

Very best wishes to you!!
Linda

Hi Linda

First of all: sorry to hear what you are going through: it must be a real ordeal! You are a very strong woman, and you have come a LONG way girl! You are nipping this in the bud in time, let's get that 30 pounds of before it gets to be more. You KNOW you will feel much better if you get back on terack; not only because of losing weight, but also because simple carbs make you feel crappy!

I live in the Netherlands so i know what you mean about not being able to get all the stuff the US guys do. But there are options for us!

zum beispiel:

http://www.vitaminexpress.at/abnehmen-diat/cdiet-p1.html

it has some protein bars and shakes to be ordered in your country. Look closely at contents, calories, sugars and such, but there are goodchoices in there! the fitness eiweiss is an acceptable exmple. also some good protein bars

another site I found for you:

http://www.nutrishop.at/tags-protein.html

http://www.vitalabo.at/sport/proteinshake

and a nice one I think you'll like:

http://www.sirup-shop.de/sirup-zuckerfrei.php

it is german but ships to my counrty and yours! It has torani and da vinci sugar free syrups that you read so much about in USA recipes!

you can also go to amazon.at and check for the keyword zuckerfrei

I hope this gets you going in the eiwiess department! ;-)

Good site if you do not already know it, she is such a succes and gets me inspired every time to make healhty, protein rich and JUYMMY choices for myself:

www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com

Furthermore:

You acknowledge the problem, you WANT to fix it. Now the trick is to get back to basics.

-no drinking with your meals or an hour afterwards! You do know WHY this rules exists right? it is maybe the MOST important rule for long term RNY succes, for this reason:

http://formerfatdudes.com/2009/11/friends-dont-let-friends-d rink-and-eat/

-protein first and mostly, cut out the simple carbs to get rid of your 30 pounds.

-are you drinking anough water/sugarfree drinks? (no or lottle caffeine and carbonation)

-are you getting enough exercise?

Just some things to get you started, don't feel overwhelmed, even if you try to do just one thing right this week, you are on the road back to recovery ;-)

if you need support, feel free to PM me. Us european girls need to stick together LOL

Catje!!

Thank you thank you thank you (tausend mal) for the info and the web sites.  It was hard to even post about this.  When I was just out of surgery even up to a year and a half out I couldn't imagine doing anything to hurt my progress, and I've done just that.  BUT  I am going to get back into control. 

You're right about the simple carbs making me feel crappy.  I know it.. and what do I do... go right on eating them like a big idiot!!!!  It's emotional eating, head hunger or whatever you want to call it, I just need to get it under control.

Will let you know how it goes.  Best of luck with your continued success and thanks for the help!!!

Best wishes!
Linda

Some of us doing the Atkins - low carb diet. Look at the group.   A lot of recipes and a lot of ideas. 
Carb addiction ius horrible (I know I have it - so I do control it)
BTW. if I ever go high carb then to detox I go really low for a 2-4 weeks.  It is hard but the first week is the worst.  Then it gets better. 

Good luck and check the Low carb group

http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/atkins/discussion/

I am sorry to hear you are having dificulties! Please don't give into the stress, the comfort food is an excuse to not have to deal with the subject at hand. At least that is what I always tell myself. However, I have found if I make a simple low carb chicken soup and pretty much eat on it for the week, it gets me back on track. and take walks if possible to clear your head and get those endorphines pumping.
My soup consist of boiled deboned chicken legs, lots of veggies like zucchinni, squash, celery, onion, spices, etc. Its really more of a stew I guess cuz its not very liquidy when done. Also, when i eat it very warm it somehow sooths my pouch. Don't forget your vitamins and water as well.
Good luck and I will say a prayer for you and your hubby.

 You are going through trying times- more than most people have to face.

This is a time to be KIND to yourself and not add self blame to this fright & stress.

Maybe you only wanted to hear advice on how to stop overeating, but maybe you also need to hear that you have to give yourself some slack right now.

Having supposedly magical protein food available - as you believe is only in the USA, isn't really going to stop you from  trying  to self-medicate with carbs.
I am SURE you have good food available  to you.
So let's start with- what GOOD4U food do you have available to you that you ENJOY?
For me it's blueberries.
Oh- and cooked apples.

So what GOOD4U food is nearby and you ENJOY it?
Buy some.

And those attractive American low-cal or low-anything foods are really clever pictures. Very little of it tastes even passable. Lots of money is spent in advertising & marketing to make tasteless products look YUMMY.
Then you bite them and grimace and additional bites don't make them taste any better- LOL

So what is close to you that is healthy that you ENJOY? Try just one of those foods to start.

And regarding your loved one, I don't know how that is dealt with in your country- but here it is usually acknowledged that as much as we want to help our mate- or SAVE them ..... we are never 100% in control of what someone else DOES or CHOOSES.
So what can you do to help YOURSELF? How can you help your fear and insecurity?
Professional counseling or if you are religious- pastoral counseling seems appropriate.
From far away, "I" care- so lots of people MUST care about you!

S. Anisoptera

Thanks so much for your kind words.  You're right... there's no magical high protein foods... and knowing myself and my carb addiction, I'd probably be worse off if I were at home right now!

I took your suggestion and went to the strawberry field and ate some warm red strawberries.  I've put down the wine and I'm going to try to care for myself as best I can.

Thanks again and best wishes,
Linda

First.....I am so sorry for what you are going through. 

Second.....Flame you?  I think most of us in the grad area of OB are lurking because we want to see if anyone else has done as bad as we feel we are doing at the moment. 

I too am on a strict calorie diet right now to lose 30 i gained.  My personal dr had asked me to put 10 pounds back on.  He said he knew I would probably go too low and after I hit bottom he suggested a little more weight due to my age and other health issues.  I took it to 15 on accident of course and stress did the other 15.  I am now trying to ditch about 15 or 20.  Dont feel like coming here to talk you should or would get flamed.  To me ob is a place for support and not bashing. 

I know we both can do this and its only 30 pounds.  Remember back in the days where it was much much more and we were jealous of the skinny ladies who only had "30" pounds to lose.  Well now we are those skinny people and its not so much that we can't do this.  We have been through much worse.

Good luck with your journey.  Thats all it is.....another journey. 

PS.....not so good with the tickers so not sure how to remove the first one.  As far as the second one goes i am not pushing myself like I have in the past.  I am taking it 10 pounds at a time for my goal.  When i reach it then i will set a new goal.  My final will be at 145 which is where my dr thinks is perfect for me.  at 145 I am a size 4/6 so I agree.