Common to "Relapse" at 3-5 yrs Post-Op?
Pizzicato66,
I think we should start a group for those of us who are total COLLAPSE. I know that support and knowledge is key to taking back out wls journey. Tommorow I see my psychologist and dietician to begin my journey "do over". I will be sure to post how my first visit goes with these Dr's and share any insight I recieve. Let's work on the group....WE ALL NEED IT!
I think we should start a group for those of us who are total COLLAPSE. I know that support and knowledge is key to taking back out wls journey. Tommorow I see my psychologist and dietician to begin my journey "do over". I will be sure to post how my first visit goes with these Dr's and share any insight I recieve. Let's work on the group....WE ALL NEED IT!
CoverGurl
OMG!!! I can't believe how similar our stories are. I too am 3 years postop and never quite reached my goal. I lost 120 pounds and my lowest weight was 204. I really wanted to get below that 200 pounds but just couldn't. I realized that was Ok just as long as I maintained my weight loss. About five months ago I started to suddenly put on weight without changing my eating habits, although I have not really been exercising much due to being really tired from iron deficiency anemia and lots of joint pain. I have gained about 20 pounds and I'm only 5'1". I'm really scared!!!. What if I keep gaining this weight back? I've started to feel like my old fat self- not wanting to socialize much. Not looking forward to the warm weather as I know that most of my clothes have gotten too tight. I have an appointment with my surgeon in April for my 3 year postop which should have been in January but I'm kind of feeling ashamed and have been avoiding seeing him. I think maybe I have begun to graze a little bit in the evening when I'm alone after hubby and kids have gone to bed. Nothing crazy but just some stuff like whole wheat crackers with cheese, popcorn, peanuts, things like that. I too need to get back to basics, eat protein and not the other crap, and of course exercising. At this point I would be happy just to lose what I have regained so that I can fit into my cute summer dresses and shorts. It's comforting to know that I am not alone. Tomorrow is a new day so I will try to get back to the way things were postop. I CANNOT GAIN THIS WEIGHT BACK!!!!
OMG! I am right there with all of you, too! I agree that right after surgery we get great care and support and now none. We know what to do. But hell, we knew that before the surgery. Knowing and doing is two different things. I can't get off carbs and sugar. For the first year or so, I did great. I ate whatever I wanted and gained nothing. Then the honeymoon ended and I started gaining weight. Now I don't know how to make myself eat properly. I can't do it. It is all emtional. None of it is physical. All of it stems from our self-loathing! It is our brain that must be fixed not our stomachs! Hang in there, ladies!
Sheila
Sheila
Oh my goodness. I got on here just to see if there might be someone who was going through what I am experiencing and cant believe I found this post. I am five years out and have gained almost 40 pounds. I am so depressed and ashamed that I dont want to leave the house. I wear the same two or three outfits all the time and refuse to buy bigger.
I did great for about three years,,then started to gain. I still get sick and throw up almost daily,,and its almost always the protein that makes me do it. The junk never makes me sick. I get up every morning determined to start over, but by evening I have caved again. I dont know what to do.
I have a male friend who had the same surgery the same week I did,,and we have both gained the same amount and are suffering the same things.
Lets see if we can conquor this thing together. Im desperate.
Betsy
I did great for about three years,,then started to gain. I still get sick and throw up almost daily,,and its almost always the protein that makes me do it. The junk never makes me sick. I get up every morning determined to start over, but by evening I have caved again. I dont know what to do.
I have a male friend who had the same surgery the same week I did,,and we have both gained the same amount and are suffering the same things.
Lets see if we can conquor this thing together. Im desperate.
Betsy
"For I know the plans I have for you ," declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Funny we are all in the same boat. i will be 6yrs this december..
i never got to my goal weight, but did get down to an xl in the 'regular' store...
i am now up 55lbs. i had a baby over 2yrs ago and was on bedrest the whole 3rd trimester.
so pregnancy and bad habits have brought me here.
i'll be going on the 5 day pouch test. To help be get Back on Track. then will go back to Low carb.
Remember the no drinking while eating, exercise, chew-chew-chew, and the 3-1 rule. [3 bites protein, to 1 bite whatever]
feel free to email me for a support buddy.. we can do this together.
liesehaley at gmail dot com
i never got to my goal weight, but did get down to an xl in the 'regular' store...
i am now up 55lbs. i had a baby over 2yrs ago and was on bedrest the whole 3rd trimester.
so pregnancy and bad habits have brought me here.
i'll be going on the 5 day pouch test. To help be get Back on Track. then will go back to Low carb.
Remember the no drinking while eating, exercise, chew-chew-chew, and the 3-1 rule. [3 bites protein, to 1 bite whatever]
feel free to email me for a support buddy.. we can do this together.
liesehaley at gmail dot com
I have self esteem issues. Who knows when they started, or why, but they've been there a very long time.
That little voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough, that I'm a piece of **** and no matter what I do that it will never change the fact that I am no good. It seems much more complex when I feel it. Sometimes it's automatic. Comes out through my behaviours, actions, reactions.
The eating issues developed to provide a different feeling than those of me telling myself how unworthy I am of anything good. It didnt have to taste good but if it did even better. I could eat more, so that I felt that full feeling to the point of pain. Pain was better to feel than all that self pity of not feeling good enough.
The headgames are different for all of us. It's the psycho therapy that really should have been focused on before having the surgery to help utilize the tool of the surgery more to our advantage. Sure, the first two years are like the honeymoon phase cos no matter what the weight just comes off regardless of our eating disorders, etc. At the same time, we all know what built us to the weight we got too, it's just a matter of acknowledging it, then actually doing something about it.
Staying present. It seems I can only stay present for so long..and somehow I create feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Sigh..I've made a lot of changes in the last few months with quitting cigs, marijuana, I havent really drank since the surgery..and the more aware I become of the 'monsters', and I have to stay fully aware, and responsible for myself, the more I start to feel sorry for myself. I guess this is what I wanted when I quit everything. I want those demons to surface and hit them head on to correct the issues but it seems I slip off the wagon and stay feeling sorry for myself..Then I eat things I shouldnt. I am keeping up with the exercise but by the sounds of these posts, my real trials are in the next few years. Doesnt really help eating unhealthy and exercising. I need to straighten this head of mine out! I know I have the will power and determination to change. I've done it ten times over in this life. It's just a matter of staying consistent, and working through the head issues as they arise instead of eating my way through them. I'm scared. I'm so f'n scared, and I feel so alone. It's not that I think I'm alone. I just feel alone cos my issues are mine, and we each feel things differently.
I wish you all the best. And on that note I will be attending my weight loss surgery support group tonight. Ive been shunning myself to stay in my dark hole fighting with myself today. I will do some more journalling and exercise and eat LOTS of protein cos I do believe it's ALL about the protein and exercise.
Thank you so much for posting this. I do believe we will be discussing this in more detail at the meeting. It seems exercise and head issues are the biggest obstacles for most after 1 - 2 years post op.
Bless you all!
That little voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough, that I'm a piece of **** and no matter what I do that it will never change the fact that I am no good. It seems much more complex when I feel it. Sometimes it's automatic. Comes out through my behaviours, actions, reactions.
The eating issues developed to provide a different feeling than those of me telling myself how unworthy I am of anything good. It didnt have to taste good but if it did even better. I could eat more, so that I felt that full feeling to the point of pain. Pain was better to feel than all that self pity of not feeling good enough.
The headgames are different for all of us. It's the psycho therapy that really should have been focused on before having the surgery to help utilize the tool of the surgery more to our advantage. Sure, the first two years are like the honeymoon phase cos no matter what the weight just comes off regardless of our eating disorders, etc. At the same time, we all know what built us to the weight we got too, it's just a matter of acknowledging it, then actually doing something about it.
Staying present. It seems I can only stay present for so long..and somehow I create feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Sigh..I've made a lot of changes in the last few months with quitting cigs, marijuana, I havent really drank since the surgery..and the more aware I become of the 'monsters', and I have to stay fully aware, and responsible for myself, the more I start to feel sorry for myself. I guess this is what I wanted when I quit everything. I want those demons to surface and hit them head on to correct the issues but it seems I slip off the wagon and stay feeling sorry for myself..Then I eat things I shouldnt. I am keeping up with the exercise but by the sounds of these posts, my real trials are in the next few years. Doesnt really help eating unhealthy and exercising. I need to straighten this head of mine out! I know I have the will power and determination to change. I've done it ten times over in this life. It's just a matter of staying consistent, and working through the head issues as they arise instead of eating my way through them. I'm scared. I'm so f'n scared, and I feel so alone. It's not that I think I'm alone. I just feel alone cos my issues are mine, and we each feel things differently.
I wish you all the best. And on that note I will be attending my weight loss surgery support group tonight. Ive been shunning myself to stay in my dark hole fighting with myself today. I will do some more journalling and exercise and eat LOTS of protein cos I do believe it's ALL about the protein and exercise.
Thank you so much for posting this. I do believe we will be discussing this in more detail at the meeting. It seems exercise and head issues are the biggest obstacles for most after 1 - 2 years post op.
Bless you all!
I think supporting each other through this is one of the best ideas I've heard in a long time!
I for one really could use the support.
We all know that it takes another person that has been through the kind of things we have to really be able to understand the place where it all comes from.
My friends and family just don't "get it" I keep getting "but you did it for so long, why now?"
Well, if I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!
I refuse to go out and buy new underwear! Maybe if they pinch it will be a good reminder of what I need to do.
On a brighter note, I did walk for an hour today and went to aquabics for the first time in three months! Now, I just need to get my appetite under control. Any suggestions?
Sue
I for one really could use the support.
We all know that it takes another person that has been through the kind of things we have to really be able to understand the place where it all comes from.
My friends and family just don't "get it" I keep getting "but you did it for so long, why now?"
Well, if I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!
I refuse to go out and buy new underwear! Maybe if they pinch it will be a good reminder of what I need to do.
On a brighter note, I did walk for an hour today and went to aquabics for the first time in three months! Now, I just need to get my appetite under control. Any suggestions?
Sue
wow, I haven't been on OH.com in quite a while and just thought I'd log on and see what was up. Your words are so timely for me,thank you. I recently attended a (new to me) support group---lately, at every support group I find I am the furthest one out (8 yrs) and have a hard time finding someone to relate to. This support group, even though it was full of relative newbies, was run by a very caring and knowledgeable nutritionist (first one I've ever met! lol). She was genuinely concerned with where I was in my person journey and wanted me to share any struggles I had experienced. Now, to see me, I look like a normal weight person...but it is a struggle every day to be where I am. It was so easy early on, when people noticed my weightloss and complimented me constantly...when I wasn't hungry most of the time....before I figured out I could eat much more of certain foods than others. It is a freaking struggle everyday and everyone looks at me and whether or not they know I've had wls, think that this is easy. The monotony and the constant hardwork of maintaining our weightloss long term gets tiring and weary. I don't want to ever go back to feeling like I did as an obese person, I have not forgotten the discomfort of carrying all of that extra weight. But, definitely, I am psychologically struggling with knowing what's ahead for me, for the rest of my life, this need to have constant vigilance over what and how much I eat and how much I exercise. This is hard work...
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