Wanted to share my journey...
Hi all,
I have been coming to this site since about a year post op. I will be 5 years out RNY this june. My only regret is not having this surgery sooner. I have learned alot about myself and done alot of growing since having the surgery. To start, I am a 35 yo mother of 3 girls...(lord help me) aged 7, 5 1/2 and almost 2... 2 kids pre-op, 1 after. I had this surgery for my kids... Iknow, we are supposed to do it for ourselves, but I didn't like myself enought to care, but my children, that was a whole different story. I would do anything for them, including rearranging my insides to give them a better life. I didn't want to be the mother who shoved them infront of the TV or didn't take them to the beach because I was afraid of people seeing the way I had let myself get so big. Surgery was a piece of cake..(pardon the pun). The mental part of this was and will always be a struggle for me. I lost my coping mechanism. I used food for everything, celebrating, sadness, anxiety, anger.... I have learned that this struggle will never end.
My baby is going to turn 2 in March. When I got pregnant with her I had mixed feelings. I was for the 1st time in my life, feeling good about myself. (I had been overweight since puberty, didn't do good things for the ol self esteem.) I had gotten to 160. I was living the way I wanted to live. Being the mom I wanted to be. I was excited to have another child but I knew I had to gain weight. I was panicked... My pregnancy was uneventful. She was born perfect. I left the hospital and all I could think about was getting on the scale to see how much I weighed. How sad for me... I had a beautiful newborn and that is all I could think about. Well, I didn't get on that scale. I waited until my 6 week check-up. I made a concious decision to not do it. I was tired of constantly thinking about my weight. I was angry that I constantly thought about my weight. My check up I weighed 182... OK, I could deal with that, only 20 lbs. So I thought, Just eat "healthy" and the weight will come off.... it didn't. I found myself in a downward spiral... I found myself eating constantly, my appetite was insatiable and I was grazing all day long. The holidays came and my mentality was..." I can just have a taste"... "Alittle won't hurt me". By january I had gotten up to 196..... OH MY GOD!!!!! 4 lbs away form 200. I promised myself I would never weigh that MUCH again. My inner fat girl was back, I was avoiding social situations, avoiding interaction with the outside world. So I had a good sit down with myself... Why was I so OUT OF CONTROL. What about food made me lose control... SUGAR!!!!! I was a sugar addict. When I eat it I get crazy, I am like a druggie looking for my next high. I can't stop. It made me feel good immediately after but I needed it constantly to feel good. So, I made a decision, I was going to cut out all sugar and white flour. I needed to detox.... and I did.
My only real successful weight loss presurgery was 50 lbs doing Atkins. I thought that maybe I could revisit it... I bought the new book and found out that it has changed since I had done it way back... Protein wasn't unlimited anymore, lots of vegetables, and there was limits on certain things like cheese and sweeteners. Ok, so I was going to start in induction and see where it would take me... I REFUSED TO GET BACK TO 200 LBS!!!!!!!! I needed drastic and I chose drastic.... WOW!!! My first 3 days on induction were killer.... headaches, mood swings, cravings, oh my. But I stuck it out. Day 5 came, I was feeling better, day 6 came, moodswings are gone, day 7... weigh in day... I felt wonderful. I wasn't bloated, my clothes were feeling better, my energy was up..... and I was down 5 LBS!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!
Today, I am starting my 4th week... I am not obsessing about food, I can say no to chocolate, sugar, any carbs. I am craving salads with lots of fresh veggies, and I am down 15 lbs. Also, My pouch is tight again. When I eat whole foods and not processed my tool works like it should. AMazing. I weigh 181. I am well on my way to that feeling I had at 160... I am hoping by summer that I will be in the 160's again. I needed to just do it. I needed to just get rid of what was causing me such grief. I needed to get rid of my addiction. So sugar and flour are gone. I know I will have slip ups, but it is all how i deal with it... I have learned that I NEED to measure and weigh every thing, I need to avoid trigger foods like splenda and atkins bars... this is how I must live. I need to remember how I feel when I eat those foods, the mental anguish of beating myself up and the physical pain from the bloating and weight gain.
I share this to maybe help someone. I have to make a concious decision everyday to eat well. Some days are definately easier than others. But it can be done. I chose an extreme way that is working well for me, but I am a great rule follower, I need rules to be successful. "just a little" is like the the kiss of death for me and I am still learning that. One day at a time.
Jessica
I have been coming to this site since about a year post op. I will be 5 years out RNY this june. My only regret is not having this surgery sooner. I have learned alot about myself and done alot of growing since having the surgery. To start, I am a 35 yo mother of 3 girls...(lord help me) aged 7, 5 1/2 and almost 2... 2 kids pre-op, 1 after. I had this surgery for my kids... Iknow, we are supposed to do it for ourselves, but I didn't like myself enought to care, but my children, that was a whole different story. I would do anything for them, including rearranging my insides to give them a better life. I didn't want to be the mother who shoved them infront of the TV or didn't take them to the beach because I was afraid of people seeing the way I had let myself get so big. Surgery was a piece of cake..(pardon the pun). The mental part of this was and will always be a struggle for me. I lost my coping mechanism. I used food for everything, celebrating, sadness, anxiety, anger.... I have learned that this struggle will never end.
My baby is going to turn 2 in March. When I got pregnant with her I had mixed feelings. I was for the 1st time in my life, feeling good about myself. (I had been overweight since puberty, didn't do good things for the ol self esteem.) I had gotten to 160. I was living the way I wanted to live. Being the mom I wanted to be. I was excited to have another child but I knew I had to gain weight. I was panicked... My pregnancy was uneventful. She was born perfect. I left the hospital and all I could think about was getting on the scale to see how much I weighed. How sad for me... I had a beautiful newborn and that is all I could think about. Well, I didn't get on that scale. I waited until my 6 week check-up. I made a concious decision to not do it. I was tired of constantly thinking about my weight. I was angry that I constantly thought about my weight. My check up I weighed 182... OK, I could deal with that, only 20 lbs. So I thought, Just eat "healthy" and the weight will come off.... it didn't. I found myself in a downward spiral... I found myself eating constantly, my appetite was insatiable and I was grazing all day long. The holidays came and my mentality was..." I can just have a taste"... "Alittle won't hurt me". By january I had gotten up to 196..... OH MY GOD!!!!! 4 lbs away form 200. I promised myself I would never weigh that MUCH again. My inner fat girl was back, I was avoiding social situations, avoiding interaction with the outside world. So I had a good sit down with myself... Why was I so OUT OF CONTROL. What about food made me lose control... SUGAR!!!!! I was a sugar addict. When I eat it I get crazy, I am like a druggie looking for my next high. I can't stop. It made me feel good immediately after but I needed it constantly to feel good. So, I made a decision, I was going to cut out all sugar and white flour. I needed to detox.... and I did.
My only real successful weight loss presurgery was 50 lbs doing Atkins. I thought that maybe I could revisit it... I bought the new book and found out that it has changed since I had done it way back... Protein wasn't unlimited anymore, lots of vegetables, and there was limits on certain things like cheese and sweeteners. Ok, so I was going to start in induction and see where it would take me... I REFUSED TO GET BACK TO 200 LBS!!!!!!!! I needed drastic and I chose drastic.... WOW!!! My first 3 days on induction were killer.... headaches, mood swings, cravings, oh my. But I stuck it out. Day 5 came, I was feeling better, day 6 came, moodswings are gone, day 7... weigh in day... I felt wonderful. I wasn't bloated, my clothes were feeling better, my energy was up..... and I was down 5 LBS!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!
Today, I am starting my 4th week... I am not obsessing about food, I can say no to chocolate, sugar, any carbs. I am craving salads with lots of fresh veggies, and I am down 15 lbs. Also, My pouch is tight again. When I eat whole foods and not processed my tool works like it should. AMazing. I weigh 181. I am well on my way to that feeling I had at 160... I am hoping by summer that I will be in the 160's again. I needed to just do it. I needed to just get rid of what was causing me such grief. I needed to get rid of my addiction. So sugar and flour are gone. I know I will have slip ups, but it is all how i deal with it... I have learned that I NEED to measure and weigh every thing, I need to avoid trigger foods like splenda and atkins bars... this is how I must live. I need to remember how I feel when I eat those foods, the mental anguish of beating myself up and the physical pain from the bloating and weight gain.
I share this to maybe help someone. I have to make a concious decision everyday to eat well. Some days are definately easier than others. But it can be done. I chose an extreme way that is working well for me, but I am a great rule follower, I need rules to be successful. "just a little" is like the the kiss of death for me and I am still learning that. One day at a time.
Jessica
pre-op 265/current 160/goal 140
105 pounds gone forever!!!!
105 pounds gone forever!!!!
""just a little" is like the the kiss of death for me and I am still learning that. One day at a time."
Do you notice that this statement is alot like the one in the 12 step program for alcohol or drug addicts?
Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus isn't still in town..I, for one, will forever be a sugar addict. I will never be able to have just a taste or alittle or anything in moderation..
Hello, my name is Dawn and I'm addicted to sugar..
Congrats on the new baby and congrats on your new journey to freedom from addiction!
Do you notice that this statement is alot like the one in the 12 step program for alcohol or drug addicts?
Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus isn't still in town..I, for one, will forever be a sugar addict. I will never be able to have just a taste or alittle or anything in moderation..
Hello, my name is Dawn and I'm addicted to sugar..
Congrats on the new baby and congrats on your new journey to freedom from addiction!
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!
Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
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