THANK YOU!!!!!
Just wanted to say THANK YOU for the emails I received and the responses from my post yesterday.
It is really comforting to know that I am not alone in this battle...I LOVED hearing your stories and totally could have compassion for your struggles because I am there too.
It is so weird to look back 7 years ago when I was soooo HOPEFUL and so sure of myself that I would NEVER EVER gain weight back...HA!!! We all know never to say never.
I read the newbie board and shake my head when I see everyone almost complain that they cant eat...how I long for the days when 1/4 cup left me so full and satisfied...It takes a lot of self control on my part NOT to comment to them to RELAX and be happy you CANT eat much because things WILL change.
I am dissapointed in myself for almost forgetting where I once was..I look at my before pictures and it is almost surreal..I have been normal now for 7 years...If someone did not know me before when I was at my heaviest..when they would see me I would just look like a person who needs to lose 20 pounds or so...I have even played games in my head about gaining weight...rationalizing that I am not THAT big...but this is exactly how it happens....little by little a pound here and a pound there...If I were to be really honest with myself I suppose I would admit that I thought that I would NEVER have to diet again...It seems like for the last few years that is all I have done is diet and yet I am still overweight...this is what brought me to research surgery in the first place...I really thought I had my food addiction in check but over the years slowly it has surfaced the only difference is that I cant go overboard because eventually my pouch will fight back...If I would have lost weight on my own there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would be back to where I was 7 years ago and maybe even bigger....tragic!!!
Like they say in AA...One day at a time...that and prayer is the only thing that I am drawing strenth from and of course hearing other peoples story who are battling the same battle...
Blessings to all of you and I wish you all inner strength to get through your personal battles
Thanks for reading and thank you for your honesty and sharing your stories
Stacey
It is really comforting to know that I am not alone in this battle...I LOVED hearing your stories and totally could have compassion for your struggles because I am there too.
It is so weird to look back 7 years ago when I was soooo HOPEFUL and so sure of myself that I would NEVER EVER gain weight back...HA!!! We all know never to say never.
I read the newbie board and shake my head when I see everyone almost complain that they cant eat...how I long for the days when 1/4 cup left me so full and satisfied...It takes a lot of self control on my part NOT to comment to them to RELAX and be happy you CANT eat much because things WILL change.
I am dissapointed in myself for almost forgetting where I once was..I look at my before pictures and it is almost surreal..I have been normal now for 7 years...If someone did not know me before when I was at my heaviest..when they would see me I would just look like a person who needs to lose 20 pounds or so...I have even played games in my head about gaining weight...rationalizing that I am not THAT big...but this is exactly how it happens....little by little a pound here and a pound there...If I were to be really honest with myself I suppose I would admit that I thought that I would NEVER have to diet again...It seems like for the last few years that is all I have done is diet and yet I am still overweight...this is what brought me to research surgery in the first place...I really thought I had my food addiction in check but over the years slowly it has surfaced the only difference is that I cant go overboard because eventually my pouch will fight back...If I would have lost weight on my own there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would be back to where I was 7 years ago and maybe even bigger....tragic!!!
Like they say in AA...One day at a time...that and prayer is the only thing that I am drawing strenth from and of course hearing other peoples story who are battling the same battle...
Blessings to all of you and I wish you all inner strength to get through your personal battles
Thanks for reading and thank you for your honesty and sharing your stories
Stacey
Oh girlie, do not waste your precious time and energy on being bummed out with yourself!
Some of us can take other's words about the stove being hot, some of us seem intent on getting burnt so we can prove it to ourselves. Boo to our stubbornnes.
For me, I think, the ease of KNOWING what an insane junkie I am comes from coming from a family of them. I know that the minute I think I am a "normie" because I LOOK like one - I am heading down a doomed nasty ol road that is well embedded with my foot and buttprints. :{
I have some books that I cycle through once a month, that help me with my head, because TrixyBich (that voice in my head!) she waits until I am not on solid foundation (right? like AA, hungry, angry, lonely, sad, tired, sick and just emotional! Good or bad emotions!!) and then she whispers stuff that once upon a time? It helped me to be numb and to protect my tender young self - but now? My tender young self needs to be grown, and make different choices than the wee me did. Trixy served her purpose, but I do not need her anymore. She is not keen on that at all. :}
so..here is my blurb about the books - maybe you already know about them and this is redundant for you, and my apologies if that is true. Also to add - I am not an advocate of the diet parts of these books - for me, I need to stay lower carb, higher fat and protein in my breathing in and out every day life - because of my junkie gene!! But - I always say that we are all different, so folks need to find out how they can feed themselves nutritionally best - and continue that.
Its kind of like when folks take psych meds and then figure Hey!! I am aokay ! I do not need these medications, and then take themselves off of them - without realizing, they were aokay, when their chemical imbalance was in check. Same for me and thinking I am a normie, that I am aokay doing as I please, because I lost X pounds. Silly me. I want to know better this time. :}
Okay - so here is my big ol verbose blurb! :} I am glad you came back girlie! This is a good good place for support!
For your emotional onion peeling back Shrink Yourself or Beck Diet Solution. They are both cognitive behavioral books and help you to learn to talk with yourself between your trigger and your knee jerk reaction. Beck is great, but I like the Shrink Yourself guy a little better. But both are supergreat.
For maintenance (and for losing but it has been a great help during maintenance) is 10 Thin Commandments. He helps you to understand that there are not good and bad foods, just good and bad food HISTORIES!
If I have NEVER been able to eat 2 cookies and 2 cookies ends up equalling a bag of cookies plus whatever else I binge on - then it doesnt MATTER how many calories 2 cookies has - if I WILL eat the entire bag, see?
There are some things I enjoy OUT, and once a month MAXIMUM, cuz in my home they equal trouble, and stopping by the store to get me "some" equals trouble, those things are Lime Flavored Tostitos, house fried rice and pizza.
I have the chips (once a month max - cuz that seems to be all my brain can handle before it starts to whisper I could get some and just not TELL anyone which ya know? If i have to HIDE it, then I dont need to be DOING it) at party functions - and again, only once a month. We dont go out to eat much so I dont have the Chinese food or the pizza even nearly once a month - but I KNOW if I bring them home - then I will start the old ugly cycle.
You know, alcoholics have to DRINK - they just need to CHOOSE to not drink booze. Folks with food sensitivities have to eat, they just need to CHOOSE not to eat the things that cause them to binge. Its the same kind of deal. It helps you to see what is an okay all the time food, sometime food and keep it iin the box because once its out - your its ***** kind of food.
And the latest helpful book has been The End of Overeating. He really, for me, helps to pull the curtain back and show you the science behind "You cannot just eat one" that the food scientist folks are designing things to appeal to the junkie gene in us. its just been really helpful to see behind the curtain and realize that some stuff that I do not have "willpower" about has nothing to do with my willpower, just like meth, would not have anything to do with my willpower - I might just have the FIRST choice, to indulge - or not to - and the rest of it, is history.
Maybe you can find them at your library or on half dot com? They are really so very helpful. I will go through one of them once a month - because a huge danger for me (maybe for everyone, but definitely for me) is forgetting the guards I have to have in place!!
Health, happiness, and wholeness to you girlie!
Some of us can take other's words about the stove being hot, some of us seem intent on getting burnt so we can prove it to ourselves. Boo to our stubbornnes.
For me, I think, the ease of KNOWING what an insane junkie I am comes from coming from a family of them. I know that the minute I think I am a "normie" because I LOOK like one - I am heading down a doomed nasty ol road that is well embedded with my foot and buttprints. :{
I have some books that I cycle through once a month, that help me with my head, because TrixyBich (that voice in my head!) she waits until I am not on solid foundation (right? like AA, hungry, angry, lonely, sad, tired, sick and just emotional! Good or bad emotions!!) and then she whispers stuff that once upon a time? It helped me to be numb and to protect my tender young self - but now? My tender young self needs to be grown, and make different choices than the wee me did. Trixy served her purpose, but I do not need her anymore. She is not keen on that at all. :}
so..here is my blurb about the books - maybe you already know about them and this is redundant for you, and my apologies if that is true. Also to add - I am not an advocate of the diet parts of these books - for me, I need to stay lower carb, higher fat and protein in my breathing in and out every day life - because of my junkie gene!! But - I always say that we are all different, so folks need to find out how they can feed themselves nutritionally best - and continue that.
Its kind of like when folks take psych meds and then figure Hey!! I am aokay ! I do not need these medications, and then take themselves off of them - without realizing, they were aokay, when their chemical imbalance was in check. Same for me and thinking I am a normie, that I am aokay doing as I please, because I lost X pounds. Silly me. I want to know better this time. :}
Okay - so here is my big ol verbose blurb! :} I am glad you came back girlie! This is a good good place for support!
For your emotional onion peeling back Shrink Yourself or Beck Diet Solution. They are both cognitive behavioral books and help you to learn to talk with yourself between your trigger and your knee jerk reaction. Beck is great, but I like the Shrink Yourself guy a little better. But both are supergreat.
For maintenance (and for losing but it has been a great help during maintenance) is 10 Thin Commandments. He helps you to understand that there are not good and bad foods, just good and bad food HISTORIES!
If I have NEVER been able to eat 2 cookies and 2 cookies ends up equalling a bag of cookies plus whatever else I binge on - then it doesnt MATTER how many calories 2 cookies has - if I WILL eat the entire bag, see?
There are some things I enjoy OUT, and once a month MAXIMUM, cuz in my home they equal trouble, and stopping by the store to get me "some" equals trouble, those things are Lime Flavored Tostitos, house fried rice and pizza.
I have the chips (once a month max - cuz that seems to be all my brain can handle before it starts to whisper I could get some and just not TELL anyone which ya know? If i have to HIDE it, then I dont need to be DOING it) at party functions - and again, only once a month. We dont go out to eat much so I dont have the Chinese food or the pizza even nearly once a month - but I KNOW if I bring them home - then I will start the old ugly cycle.
You know, alcoholics have to DRINK - they just need to CHOOSE to not drink booze. Folks with food sensitivities have to eat, they just need to CHOOSE not to eat the things that cause them to binge. Its the same kind of deal. It helps you to see what is an okay all the time food, sometime food and keep it iin the box because once its out - your its ***** kind of food.
And the latest helpful book has been The End of Overeating. He really, for me, helps to pull the curtain back and show you the science behind "You cannot just eat one" that the food scientist folks are designing things to appeal to the junkie gene in us. its just been really helpful to see behind the curtain and realize that some stuff that I do not have "willpower" about has nothing to do with my willpower, just like meth, would not have anything to do with my willpower - I might just have the FIRST choice, to indulge - or not to - and the rest of it, is history.
Maybe you can find them at your library or on half dot com? They are really so very helpful. I will go through one of them once a month - because a huge danger for me (maybe for everyone, but definitely for me) is forgetting the guards I have to have in place!!
Health, happiness, and wholeness to you girlie!
Most Active
Recent Topics
