Looking for a few good accountability partners.
Hey all~
I've read the posts on this forum a few times but I never posted anything. I had open RNY Jan 2006. I was 321# the morning of my surgery and at 10 months post op I was down to #162. I'm 5'11" so 162 was a size 4/6. I admit, my weight loss became an all consuming passion and took a very dangerous and almost deadly turn. As the weight loss slowed down I resorted to "old habits" of popping diet pills, purging my food, or refusing to eat for days on end. I ended up needing psychiatric help but refused going to an ED clinic. I felt I was strong enough to get myself right. It took a long time, but I did it.
For my frame, I was most comfortable at 175 pounds. 162 was sickening thin for me. The problem I have is this: I had to retrain my brain to allow me to eat again without fear. I guess I did a little better than I thought possible because the scale has creeped back to a number I am not happy with. For almost a year I stayed around 175, then it sneaked up to 181, then 183, then 186, and now it's flirting with 189. I now wear a size 10 which is a FAR cry from the size 26/28 I was in, but I'm not comfortable in my own skin. My food phobias are returning, my image dysmorphia is back at an all time high, and I feel like if I don't get a grip on this thing now some of my dangerous behaviors will soon return. I've already spent countless hours researching weigh****chers, jenny craig, and nutrisystem. I've also done my homework on obtaining prescription diet pills through the internet. I can't let myself slip back into this lifestyle. But in all honesty, I've never eaten right....it's been over eating, post op eating, anorexic tendencies, binge/purge, or grazing to get healthy again.....but taken too far.
I KNOW how to eat right and exercise healthy so please don't reply with things of that nature. :) Basically what I'm looking for are a few post op grads looking to lose about 10 pounds they put back on that are will to be honest with each other and themselves and post on here a weekly weigh in and a daily eat and exercise confession. Is anyone game? I feel like if I have some people striving for the same goal, I'll be more apt to do it right.
I've read the posts on this forum a few times but I never posted anything. I had open RNY Jan 2006. I was 321# the morning of my surgery and at 10 months post op I was down to #162. I'm 5'11" so 162 was a size 4/6. I admit, my weight loss became an all consuming passion and took a very dangerous and almost deadly turn. As the weight loss slowed down I resorted to "old habits" of popping diet pills, purging my food, or refusing to eat for days on end. I ended up needing psychiatric help but refused going to an ED clinic. I felt I was strong enough to get myself right. It took a long time, but I did it.
For my frame, I was most comfortable at 175 pounds. 162 was sickening thin for me. The problem I have is this: I had to retrain my brain to allow me to eat again without fear. I guess I did a little better than I thought possible because the scale has creeped back to a number I am not happy with. For almost a year I stayed around 175, then it sneaked up to 181, then 183, then 186, and now it's flirting with 189. I now wear a size 10 which is a FAR cry from the size 26/28 I was in, but I'm not comfortable in my own skin. My food phobias are returning, my image dysmorphia is back at an all time high, and I feel like if I don't get a grip on this thing now some of my dangerous behaviors will soon return. I've already spent countless hours researching weigh****chers, jenny craig, and nutrisystem. I've also done my homework on obtaining prescription diet pills through the internet. I can't let myself slip back into this lifestyle. But in all honesty, I've never eaten right....it's been over eating, post op eating, anorexic tendencies, binge/purge, or grazing to get healthy again.....but taken too far.
I KNOW how to eat right and exercise healthy so please don't reply with things of that nature. :) Basically what I'm looking for are a few post op grads looking to lose about 10 pounds they put back on that are will to be honest with each other and themselves and post on here a weekly weigh in and a daily eat and exercise confession. Is anyone game? I feel like if I have some people striving for the same goal, I'll be more apt to do it right.
Never give up on what you want the most for what you want for the moment.
dear dawn, I know exactly where your coming from. I am four years post op and have lost over 100lbs at one point. I started out at 262lbs at 5ft 3 1/2 inches the day of my surgery.I was very happy w/ my success and got down to 146lbs. I was a size 28 and had made it down to a size6 or 8 depending what it was. At 146lbs everyone was complaining I was looking too skinny and that my face looked drawn. So I increased my caloriesand gained a few lbs so then I was abt 152.I had to go back on antidepressants/antianxiety meds.(which sucks,but such is life)I was on lexapro then effexor which after I was on it a while I realized it was working for my panic attacks and such but my appetite had increased.So I made them change it!!! By this time I was up to 159lbs.Then I went for my check up w/ my surgeon and was @ 163lbs. I was starting to panic. I had allot of issues w/ my iron and had to receive infusions cause I was exhausted all the time. It took me a year to get that settled and the keep a very close eye on it. But I sarted to fall into old habits myself. I know how to eat right but I havent been drinking enough fluid.I also look for something to speed my metabolism up and I just cant find anything. Ive tried hoodia from GNC Ive tried acai berry cleanses,diet tea etc. I used to exercise allot but since I ran into the exhaustion prob w/my iron that fell by the way side. I also have two children.When I was younger I used to purge aft eating and beleive me that thought has crossed my mind.My biggest weakness is chocolate! Im talking the good stuff though,ghiradelli,godiva. Ill forego calories in a meal so I could have a peace of chocolate.I need to get out of this habit. I need to detox my body from sugar so I dont crave it. Of course now that Im four years out I dont get the dumping syndrome when I eat sugar!! I almost wish I did so that it would detere me! Its really making me crazy and I dont know what else to do right now. I have a check up next week w/ my surgeon and am also going to meet w/the nutritionist while Im there. I would love to try and support each other while we are bot h trying to figure this out. Its always easier when you have someone who understands. I dont ever want to go back to where I was. Good luck to you and keep in touch.
Lorie
Lorie
Hey Lorie~
My problem is night eating. It's horrible. I feel like I can go all day and be right on point but as soon as night falls I turn into a gremlin and want to eat everything in sight. I even took sleep aides a few times just to prevent me from waking up and going into the fridge. I know what you mean about carbs. They are POISON! I used to be so strict on myself and count them like religion...now I just don't seem to care...but I do care...if that makes any sense. Almost being mad at myself with each bite but loving it all the same. Which....brings thoughts of purging to mind. I just refuse to allow that in my life again. It was so bad before that I had constant nose bleeds, blood in my vomit, and once I even had blood come from my eyes! My face was swollen and covered in broken blood vessels as well. Ugh. It was horrid.
As for the metabolism issue...you know as well as I that there is only one way to increase it....exercise. It's just making the commitment to do it. That's one of the reasons I need an accountability partner. I need someone that I will feel like I am letting down more than myself when I say "I cheated today".
Dawn
Never give up on what you want the most for what you want for the moment.
HEYYYYYY DAWNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
You came to the right place for being accountable! Dawn does an accountability post every evening and it really helps me.
Have you ever thought about WW. When I gained from my lowest, I joined WW just to get back on track. It helped, I'm back at my lowest again. So I owe it all to WW and the post here
You came to the right place for being accountable! Dawn does an accountability post every evening and it really helps me.
Have you ever thought about WW. When I gained from my lowest, I joined WW just to get back on track. It helped, I'm back at my lowest again. So I owe it all to WW and the post here
HEY HEY HEY K!!!!!
Long time no talk.
I have REALLY REALLY considered WW but the stupidest thing is preventing me from going.....
I already feel like the WORLD judges my appearance and I'm afraid of people looking at me like I'm an arrogant person by joining to lose 11 pounds. I know how I would feel if I was there and needed to lose 50, 75, or even 100 pounds and here walks in the PERSONAL TRAINER boo-hooing over 11 pounds. Am I ridiculous or what???
Long time no talk.
I have REALLY REALLY considered WW but the stupidest thing is preventing me from going.....
I already feel like the WORLD judges my appearance and I'm afraid of people looking at me like I'm an arrogant person by joining to lose 11 pounds. I know how I would feel if I was there and needed to lose 50, 75, or even 100 pounds and here walks in the PERSONAL TRAINER boo-hooing over 11 pounds. Am I ridiculous or what???
Never give up on what you want the most for what you want for the moment.
Don't' feel that way! There are several other people in my group that are gastric bypass patients. They are at goal but attend meetings to stay accountable with the weekly weigh in and just have the support of meetings. If you are considering joining, just tell them exactly what I did, I got off track and I just want to loose the little bit of weight that I gained and get back on track!
Well, whatever it does.. I hope it works for YOU
Well, whatever it does.. I hope it works for YOU
Hi Dawn,
I'm struggling something terrible. I'm about 4 years Post-op.... I've now gained back 35 lbs, I'm sick over it and I feel like I'm on a runaway train. My biggest problem is NIGHT EATING, I'm telling you about 11:00 PM I start, almost like I could not stop even if I wanted to. I've asked for help for this problem over and over and have had some wonderful suggestions. But do I put them in actions, "NO!" I want so badly to get back on track, I want so badly to have two nights in a row without me bingeing. Just to prove to myself, I can do it, this terrible habit feels hopeless. I always binge on CARBS! I'll find a way to get my hands on them, some way---somehow. Dawn and others, please lets keeping talking about this NIGHT EATING, this is so unhealthy. Together lets "stop this madness.... honestly, I'm crying out for help! Kathy
I'm only 5'2" tall so 35 lbs really makes a difference.
I'm struggling something terrible. I'm about 4 years Post-op.... I've now gained back 35 lbs, I'm sick over it and I feel like I'm on a runaway train. My biggest problem is NIGHT EATING, I'm telling you about 11:00 PM I start, almost like I could not stop even if I wanted to. I've asked for help for this problem over and over and have had some wonderful suggestions. But do I put them in actions, "NO!" I want so badly to get back on track, I want so badly to have two nights in a row without me bingeing. Just to prove to myself, I can do it, this terrible habit feels hopeless. I always binge on CARBS! I'll find a way to get my hands on them, some way---somehow. Dawn and others, please lets keeping talking about this NIGHT EATING, this is so unhealthy. Together lets "stop this madness.... honestly, I'm crying out for help! Kathy
I'm only 5'2" tall so 35 lbs really makes a difference.
Less 150 lbs 
Can I be honest and tell you I JUST ate 5 dry frosted mini wheats, about 1 1/4 cups mac and cheese, and an oatmeal cookie....BACK TO BACK!!!!!!! I was so busy today I didn't even eat a thing until 8pm and honestly...it wasn't until I went to make dinner for my kids that I realized it. But...true to form...once I throw on my sleep clothes and start to settle in for the night I go into "attack mode" in my kitchen. :(
Like you said...2 days would be amazing. I have found the nights I don't carb binge before bed that I sleep better and feel much more rested the next morning. But for some reason beyond my comprehension; I can't seem to have the will power to say no once night hits. What is wrong with me?
Like you said...2 days would be amazing. I have found the nights I don't carb binge before bed that I sleep better and feel much more rested the next morning. But for some reason beyond my comprehension; I can't seem to have the will power to say no once night hits. What is wrong with me?
Never give up on what you want the most for what you want for the moment.
3.5 years out... I could tell you my story but I'd sound almost like all of you :) I've had regain and am struggling.... Funny thing is just before I saw this post I was looking at WW in my area and aerobics classes... I just bought a new treadmill... I need to get back on track something fierce.... I need to go back to my old mode of obsession of labels, counting, working out, constant planning and strict discipline of NOT eating things that taste good but strictly for sustaining life. I am disgusted with myself.
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