11 months post op and very discouraged!
I feel like a failure. It will be a year on June 1st and I am not where I thought I would be, nor where I need or could be. I basically stopped working out, stopped posting and coming to these forums and started eating the wrong foods again. I feel like a disappointment to myself and to those who know me intimately. I feel like I have no clue how to muster up the motivation to get back to the gym. Dont really know where to start where its not overwhelming. Yes I have lost some weight and am pleased that I did at least lose something but ....im at 260 and stuck. I fluctuate between 251 and 264 for the past three months. I know I need to lose at least one hundred pounds more, but think I would be okay if I lost 85 pounds. It sounds so impossible. I am not sure what any of you can do, but if you have suggestions please HELP.
The following is my opinion. I am not an expert.
First, you are not a failure unless you give up. If you give up, no one can help you at all. Just the fact that you voiced your feelings is a start. It's time to get working and change some things.
This is a deep mental thing. You need to talk to someone about your feelings and issues about food and self image. A close friend, support group or a therapist. Someone.
Then you need a plan. You need to work on one thing at a time. Just one small thing will do. Walk alittle. Then walk alittle more. That's all the exercise you need for now. You don't have to start out being a marathon runner or even speed walker or anything like that. Just walk alittle more than you do now. Don't think about the whole 85 pounds you need to lose. That's a huge task. Take it a few pounds at a time. Smaller goals are easier to achieve and pretty soon, all those small goals add up to a giant super goal.
All the while, thinking about your issues with food...There has to be a reason why you feel you need to have foods that you feel are bad or wrong. Food isn't wrong, in itself. If it's a trigger food then it's a trigger food that needs addressing. My trigger food that I can NOT say no to is homemade chocolate chip cookies. There are reasons why I feel like I need to reach for those cookies. Sometimes it's boredom. Sometimes it's frustration with the things that go on around me that I have no control over. I have control over that cookie, or do I? If that cookie has control over me, then I need to work on that right now...
We can cheer you on and encourage you...But this is something you have to do on your own.
First, you are not a failure unless you give up. If you give up, no one can help you at all. Just the fact that you voiced your feelings is a start. It's time to get working and change some things.
This is a deep mental thing. You need to talk to someone about your feelings and issues about food and self image. A close friend, support group or a therapist. Someone.
Then you need a plan. You need to work on one thing at a time. Just one small thing will do. Walk alittle. Then walk alittle more. That's all the exercise you need for now. You don't have to start out being a marathon runner or even speed walker or anything like that. Just walk alittle more than you do now. Don't think about the whole 85 pounds you need to lose. That's a huge task. Take it a few pounds at a time. Smaller goals are easier to achieve and pretty soon, all those small goals add up to a giant super goal.
All the while, thinking about your issues with food...There has to be a reason why you feel you need to have foods that you feel are bad or wrong. Food isn't wrong, in itself. If it's a trigger food then it's a trigger food that needs addressing. My trigger food that I can NOT say no to is homemade chocolate chip cookies. There are reasons why I feel like I need to reach for those cookies. Sometimes it's boredom. Sometimes it's frustration with the things that go on around me that I have no control over. I have control over that cookie, or do I? If that cookie has control over me, then I need to work on that right now...
We can cheer you on and encourage you...But this is something you have to do on your own.
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!
Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
You are NOT a failure....we are just pre-programed to believe that if you are not at your ultimate weight loss goal than you must be a failure. That's one of the many head games we play with ourselves in the battle against obesity. You haven't said how far you've come since your WLS. I personally find it very helpful to remind myself that if it weren't for my WLS, I would be at a very different place right now. I haven't reached my ultimate goal....chances are I won't either unless I really buckle down and become completely compliant with my exercise and nutrition. But hey, becoming completely compliant with my excercise and nutrition is up to my head, not my surgery. And my head is very messed up! Therefore, the battle continues, but the war is far from lost. As a matter of fact, I have won more battles than I have lost in this war and I'm willing to bet that you have too!
Motivation is a vague intangible thing. Especially once you have completed the "honeymoon" period of WLS when all those immediate positive feedback "wow moments" begin to slow down. You can't sit around and wait for that magical motivation to suddenly hit you. This journey takes a lot of work and a lot of struggling, but it is a very do-able journey. You have to force yourself to schedule in the gym or a walk or some sort of physical activity, just like you would schedule in a dreaded visit to the dentist. And then keep your appointment for the gym or for whatever just like you would keep your dentist app't. Focus on one day, perhaps one hour, at a time. Ignore the long term outlook...its too overwhelming. Don't give in to feelings of defeat, that's the old you talking. You can do this, but you are going to have to work for it.
Motivation is a vague intangible thing. Especially once you have completed the "honeymoon" period of WLS when all those immediate positive feedback "wow moments" begin to slow down. You can't sit around and wait for that magical motivation to suddenly hit you. This journey takes a lot of work and a lot of struggling, but it is a very do-able journey. You have to force yourself to schedule in the gym or a walk or some sort of physical activity, just like you would schedule in a dreaded visit to the dentist. And then keep your appointment for the gym or for whatever just like you would keep your dentist app't. Focus on one day, perhaps one hour, at a time. Ignore the long term outlook...its too overwhelming. Don't give in to feelings of defeat, that's the old you talking. You can do this, but you are going to have to work for it.
Jewelring
POST-OP LAP RNY JANUARY 9, 2007!
Where would my weight be today if I was on WW all this time? Not here, thats for sure!
POST-OP LAP RNY JANUARY 9, 2007!
Where would my weight be today if I was on WW all this time? Not here, thats for sure!
You have not failed. You are not a failure. Watch how you talk to yourself. Love and be good to yourself anyway.
I looked at your profile and I see that you had a LB AND without great success. It seems to be a rule that if you did not have amazing success with the Band (and it worked at some point), you won't have amazing success with the VSG or any other purely restrictive only WLS.
Will you consider part2 of what you started - the duodenal switch? If I were in your position I'd do it AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILLING TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELFas need be with the DS.
I don't think you feel good about your weight - 260 is too much weight to carry and be ok healthwise in the long run. You are too young to have that monkey on your back. Nip it in the bud with the DS and move on with life.
The other option is strickly dieting and exercising.
Good Luck,
Leila
I looked at your profile and I see that you had a LB AND without great success. It seems to be a rule that if you did not have amazing success with the Band (and it worked at some point), you won't have amazing success with the VSG or any other purely restrictive only WLS.
Will you consider part2 of what you started - the duodenal switch? If I were in your position I'd do it AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILLING TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELFas need be with the DS.
I don't think you feel good about your weight - 260 is too much weight to carry and be ok healthwise in the long run. You are too young to have that monkey on your back. Nip it in the bud with the DS and move on with life.
The other option is strickly dieting and exercising.
Good Luck,
Leila
3/30/2005 Lap Band installed 12/20/2010 Lap Band REMOVED
6/6/2011 Vertical SLEEVE Gastrectomy
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