If you're here and in trouble...

I was totally flabbergasted when I discovered how hard "maintenance" is...Just to wrap my head around staying one weight was weird to me.

Then to add stress eating in there. I was so in tuned with it, one day when the stress was just too much to handle and I needed to eat my lunch (it was time) I couldn't even swallow a bite of it. I was dizzy from being hungry but couldn't eat a bite. It was like my pouch just SHUT OFF...

That's when it got real for me. I cried. Now I don't stress eat. I stress starve. I just don't or won't eat at all.

All the grads have been through so much. I wanted others to be able to see what they have been through and know that it's an individual journey. Know that what they do early out MATTERS with how they will succeed or not succeed in a few years.

Hi Dawn!  I read your above post and just yelled out "That was ME!"  I went through the same thing, I wouldn't be able to and didn't want to eat when I was stressed out..... this went on for a long time for me (2 solid years).  I do believe (and completely admit fully) that the link that changed for me was a combination of my back issues and loss of activity.  It's crucial to keep up with an exercise routine, and try to keep fighting through roadblocks. (I'm hoping those struggling like me reading this will find hope.) 

But in reading your other posts, I agree, I read the newbies posts and just shake my head and say "Just you wait"  Life's trials and tribulations will come, and how you make the changes in your life to be able to handle those are super important.   Afterall, this is about making permanent changes, not just "adjustments" but true for the rest of our lives changes. 

Hi Dawn
Personally I find your post insulting.  The question is why don't you gain weight?  I have read how much you eat and yet you maintain 125 lbs.  All I can say is that you must have had a lot of intestine bypassed.  I have a friend that had a HUGE bypass and can eat anything.  How much did you eat before your surgery?  Maybe you have a fast metabolism.  I don't think most people eat 1650 a day and weigh what you weigh.  Usually people eat 10 calories per pound.  I exercise a lot.  Maybe that is a downfall for me.  Did you have some fat removed surgically?  I noticed that many people have stomachs removed and thighs removed.  Some have necks and arms removed. I think that having the fat cells removed is a big boost to maintenance. I have years of accurate food diaries of me eating 1400 to 1600 lbs.  My grand baby died last week so I had a beer or wine to help me sleep.  I went over in calories those days.  But I have been back at it for the past few days.  Usually I am on the 6 meal a day 1500 calories but I get down to 165 not 130 lbs. I gained from 165 to 200 lbs from Halloween to the end of January between 2 vacations and the holiday parties.  It will take me several months to get it off.  I know I have a large pouch and stoma to start as well as a very short bypass because I lost from 276 to 165 before my surgery.  I had to gain 30 lbs to qualify for surgery.  So I was considered a lightweight.  I had a RNY to help control my blood sugars not necessarily to lose weight.  I was able to maintain 165 from 2002 to 2005 when I decided to try to get off insulin by having a RNY.  I gained back 30 lbs to have the surgery.  My A1Cs are normal now even though I weigh more than before my surgery and am off all medication.  I am grateful that my diabetes is gone.  I guess you should just count your blessings that your surgery is working so well for you.  Remember all RNYs are different.  You are not doing anything better.  take care, Daisy   

I've had nothing cosmetic removed. No skin, no fat at all. I had only the 100 cm of intestines bypassed according to my surgeon. I had to increase my calories to stop losing weight. I got as low as 116 after hitting my goal weight of 125 at 11 months. I have never heard the equation of 10 calories per pound. I find that illogical because some people who weigh alot more don't lose on that equation or a whole lot less in calorie count.

Why would you be insulted?

I'm asking what other peoples' downfall has been because I'm afraid to let myself get into trouble and really want to know before I get into trouble myself.  I used to eat 2500 calories a day, tons of sugar and tons of sodas and cokes. Mostly diet sodas. I haven't had another carbonated beverage since surgery. I do not drink with my meals or 30 minutes to an hour after them if it's dense protein.

I don't believe I've ever said I'm doing anything better than anyone else. Whatever my questions are, they shouldn't be insulting to anyone.

I'm sorry for your loss. That's got to be hard for anyone.

An awful lot of excuses going on in this post to be honest. If you now weigh more than you did before your surgery, there are reasons for that and all the excuses in the world won't change the fact that you need to take responsibility for what you are eating. I don't mean to be harsh - I know how hard this is, but to blast the OP as if you're doing exactly what she is doing and somehow she is "blessed" or something is not going to help you.

I think it's naive to say she isn't doing anything better than you. Clearly she is. We need to "own" our own behavior in terms of what happens to us physically after WLS. If you have gained 35 pounds just in the last few months, the only way to do that is to be eating the wrong things. Blaming your weight on metabolism, large pouch, short bypass, is very defeatest. It's really important to take control of our eating habits. It sounds like that's too many calories for you. It doesn't matter what it is for other people. I eat less than 1,000 calories a day. I'm older and my metabolism is not as good, despite exercise.

What makes you think your pouch is big or your stoma is stretched? Have you been tested? It's really important that you not make excuses to yourself because that kind of thinking is what leads people back to regaining their weight. There is no medical science whatsoever that people who have plastic surgeries done maintain their weight loss better than others. What works is finding out what your own base metabolic rate is, finding a good nutritionist and eating right for your own particular body. If I ate 1,400 to 1,600 calories a day, I would regain all of my weight, and quickly. People who get the weight off and keep it off generally have changed their eating habits for life and work on it very hard, every day, making those choices over and over again.

OP - I think this is a good post because we all need to look at our journeys and watch the pitfalls that are happening to other people. I come to this board often because I'm so afraid of slipping back. I am right with you on not testing the waters, not eating carbs. I know, from the bottom of my heart, that if I do I won't be successful.

That said, it's so important for all of us to realize our bodies are so different. Our caloric needs, exercise needs, etc. may be so different than someone elses. If we want it to work, there's no use crying about the fact that we may be one of those unlucky people who just can't eat 1,400 calories a day. I know I can't eat the way some other maintainers do. I'm so grateful though to have been able to have this. Every day, I start out with a prayer, and try to make my food choices all day long with that in mind. It's hard. The hardest thing we will probably ever do.

I agree with lots of the previous replies - those darn carbs to snack on - wish I'd never tried them.  However, I was maintaining my weight, all the time I weighed regularly.  The minute I stopped watching the scales (by which I mean once a week or more, but not manically or obsessively), I allowed too many pounds to creep on.  Before I could deal with the odd pound immediately, now I have 15 to deal with.

Ruth

That's good to know! You know, it's really good to know I'm right where I need to be in watching the scale and the carbs...I do that and I have been told I'm too obsessive about that. I guess I'm not.

15 to deal with isn't too much or too bad, I don't think. Compared to when we were all MO before surgery, if all we needed to lose was a scant 15 or 25...LOL. You can do it. Those carbs are nasty and addictive so I think those are the key...Stay away from those and I"ll be just fine.

Thanks for the response!

Dawn

Hi Dawn

yes, I keep telling myself 15 pounds is acheivable, and that I've lost loads more than that, but this is such a mind game isn't it.

In my mind, I see those 15 pounds as huge a mountain to climb as the 100 I needed to lose pre wls.  I even have two chains of paperclips, each paperclip representing a pound lost or still to lose - one with almost 100 clips on and one with 15 clips so that I have the reality of the task visualised.

But my mind still plays tricks on me and I'm fighting the I'll never do it so don't even bother mentality.  Why are we so hard on ourselves?

BUT...I am determined not to go back to where I came from, so am going to get this done.

BTW, thanks for all your posts on here, I find them very helpful, even if I don't post myself.

Hugs, Ruth

Yes, it is a mental thing. Very much so. You can justify that 15 pounds if it's muscle. I wouldn't be too upset about a 15 pound gain if I was fit and had muscle. I'm not and don't.

Two words can be a problem and a solution. "never" and "determined" 

Never just doesn't exist when it's something you really want to do. You WILL get your goal accomplished and you need to BANISH "never" completely...It just doesnt' exist.

Determined is the word you need the most. Determined will get you there.

It's mental. And with alot of things mental, it depends on how bad you want it. You can do it.

Interesting responses.
This was a good post in that it helps the rest of us get on track.
I think we all realize what the downfalls are.
For me, it was carbs--I wish I had never tried these foods to start with.  I had a seasoned post-op encourage me to try many things I had been terrified to try.  I wish I had stayed terrified.
I was 242 on my surgery day.  My lowest weight (for about 5 minutes:) was 136 pounds but mostly I hung out in the 140's.  Since last summer, I have gained.  On Thursday, I weighed 170 pounds!!! GASP.  I immediately began the 5 Day Pouch Test.  I do NOT want to be obese again.
I am 5'2.
I am finishing up day 4 and have lost 7 pounds.
It is VERY VERY hard to give up those carbs!!!
But it is necessary.
Also, drinking with meals is a HUGE stumbling block!!!!!


To the poster:  Congratulations on your success!!! Kudos to you and good luck in your future!!!

As for those who are offended---don't be.
This is a good thread that should help us all.

If it is any consolation, this poster is exactly on track.. This surgery typically produces a 100 pound weight loss.  She has had exactly that.  Why should she be the object of attack because she had the surgery (I realize that there seems to be some pre-surgery weight loss) as a 'light weight?'  She's not necessarily any more successful than many others.
And she is wise enough to want to preserve this 'second chance' we've all been given.

I personally wish with all of my heart that I had had this surgery 30 pounds lighter.  I think it'd make all the difference for me.  But alas, it is what it is.
I applaud anyone who commits to this journey and am thankful for anyone who makes me consider my own coices within it. 

Thanks!!

Katrina Lopez