I'm failing miserably

I just can't seem to get back on track. I am trying weigh****chers, but it isn't working. It is causing me to hyperfocus on food. All i think about all day is food and points and eating every few hrs to stave off hunger and keep my blood sugar stable( i have hypoglycemia).  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am just so frustrated. I just needed to air this out. I feel like such a failure, i want to crawkl under a rock and cry, but that won't get these 20 lbs off either. So i guess my only choice is to just keep trying Damn it!

 I'm the same way about WW.
Before surgery I tried it for 18 mos.
I lost 88 lbs.
When I quit I gained over 100 back. Not WW's fault, my own.
But I did find that when I did WW I was obsessed with food and points 24 hours a day and that was no way to live.
I've still, even so, looked into it post op to control weight gain, but again I fine myself obsessing about food 24/7 because of it, can I live free or be counting every point? I'd rather be fat.
It's a healthy program, but for me I can't keep being compelled to count foods constantly, good for anyone that can.
I need to learn to LIVE, that is my goal. People who live don't count, they live life, that is what I want.

If you have hypoglycemia you HAVE to think about food or snacks all day long. it's a given for that.
I have hypoglycemia but only in the mornings it seems. I have no trouble going 4 or 5 hours in the afternoons with just crystal light drinks but that's not you. That's me.

I do hyper focus on food but it's just pre-planning so that I don't panic about not having a snack if I need one for a sugar dump (hypoglycemic thing). I pack all the things I plan on maybe eating all day in my lunch bag before I leave for work and then that's all I can have. I plan if I'm going out to eat by looking up the nutritional values before I go there and pre-select what I want to eat. If I change my mind, it's something that I've looked at already to see the nutritional values.

Don't be too hard on yourself if you're focusing too much on food. focusing on food teaches you to plan and measure and soon enough you can picture 4 ounces of chicken or fish and you can do it without a scale or measuring cup...Even dh can do that and serves me up 4 ounces of beef. I've checked him on it and he's almost always within a quarter ounce..

it's sort of like learning the multiplication tables. You focus on it hard to learn it and then once it's learned, you can use it from memory..

Melinda,

You have always been so encouraging to all.  You don't say how tall you are, but maybe 170 is a good weight for you, you have come so far you can not give up, this is something we will have to work at everyday for the rest of our lives.  You are a little farther out than me and I did have a 13 lb. bounce back that at first I hated, now I have decided it was not my orginal goal but it is still a good weight for me and it is too hard to stay down those 13 lbs, I have accepted this weight and now focus on not letting it go up any more.  Keep trudging girl, you can do it! 

Thanks, I appreciate the responses and motivation. I will never give up, i just keep trudging along. I am looking for the perfect system for me and know WW is not it. I can't live my life hyperfocused on food. At my lowest i was still overweight for my 5"2" frame. I too agree that i need to find a weight that i can easily manage without my entire life revolving around every bite i take. It is a compromise. Thanks and keep me in your thoughts, as i will keep you. :)

I never had much success with WW either. I want to lose 10 pounds and considered trying it for a few seconds, looked up my points allowance, and found I could have 16 points in a day. Say what?? That's something like 800 calories a day. I'm apparently taking in too many calories because I've gained weight, but I'd flat starve to death on 800 a day. I'm going to try a modified version of the Thrive diet. I don't know if y'all have heard of it, but it's all the rage here in north Georgia. The doctors are recommending it and people swear they're not feeling too deprived. It's basically what we already know, no sweets, only certain types of fruit, lean meat, lots of fibrous vegetables, and drinking tons of water.

Wanda, i looked up the thrive diet and the one i found is a full vegetarian diet. It is book based, created by a vegetarian triathlete. Is this the same one? I am just going to try to eliminate sugar and processed foods. Protein and vegies first and up my water. Of course my exercise has to increase as well.

It's not exactly the same. The one here lets you eat chicken, turkey and fish, but not much red meat. You're supposed to eat a piece of meat the same size as your hand. It's exactly what we were taught as new-ops, like you said, eliminating sugar and processed foods. I should know better than anybody that fad diets don't work, even if they make you lose faster intiially. I think that's what got my metabolism so screwed up in the first place. I'm sitting here today at work in a pink shirt that used to hang on me, and today it's tight. Dammit dammit dammit. I want a quick fix, to get up in the morning and everything be loose again, but it probably won't happen. Dammit.

MeltingMel, you are absolutely not alone at all, that I promise you.   You are not a failure, we are all a work in progress. :)  I just finished the free trial of WW just to see how it would work out and wow, I ended up being absolutely obessesed with food last week, not a good thing for an emotional eater like myself.  WW did open my eyes to how much I guess I should be eating and I did realize that I was going over that daily amount before I signed up.  But I found something out, the WW system online currently focuses on Fat vs. Daily Fiber to get you the point values, the higher protein foods are higher in points... so maybe the WW isn't for those of us who need a higher protein diet. 

I've gone back to re-reading the pouch rules, water loading 15 minutes before a meal, not drinking with meals, and drinking about an hour after a meal, and I have to say, that is working for me to stay full longer. 

Are you exercising?  Even just a bit during the week?  

I was an avid exerciser, but i let my priorities change. It is my fault, i just have to put myself first again, but i feel so guilty, especially with teh academic problems my oldest has in school. i just to organize my time so, i can exercis and help him w/ homework. Thanks for the support.