Xpost: Need help deciding!

Can someone help me? LOL Please don't think I am bashing anyone in this post. I am just typing candidly and would greatly appreciate some encouragement or personal stories on this!

I know I can't get this surgery unless I am 100% sure that I want to. But how am I supposed to be 100% when I have this addiction to food? I guess it depends on how committed I am to quitting the addiction and making a change in my life, right? Doesn't the surgery MAKE a person change? For me, I cannot deal with a lot of pain so I know I would be extremely cautious on what I ate. So for me, it would be a kick in the butt in the right direction, right?

Then, on the other hand, I keep thinking I can do this on my own. That I can try doing a diet and stick to it... when in reality, deep down inside, I know I can't! The longest I have been successful with any kind of weight-loss was when I worked out for 2 hours a day, but I wasn't able to keep up that routine. Though it lasted about 1-2 years I eventually got so bored of it I just phased out and then quit.

So, tell me, if this surgery is a "tool" and people/doctors/surgeons all say you HAVE to change your behaviors and the diet after you get surgery... then why have the surgery at all? Why get cut up for life? Why not just change now your diet/lifestyle/behaviors and have a normal stomach?

Again, please please please don't think I am trying to flame anyone... I am just having these thoughts and concerns and would like to hear from other people going through the same thing.

Thank you for your support!
Joanne

Well, I also didn't want to be cut up for life.  I had the lap band, which IS reversible, if for some reason I decided I didn't want it anymore.  I can't ever imagine that happening.

If we could change our eating habits alone, we would all be thin.  The band forces you to eat smaller portions.  I guess with RNY you also have to eat smaller portions, but you are not absorbing all of your nutrients.

Do your research.  Check out all the stuff on the net about every WLS procedure and then make an informed decision.

My biggest fear of the Band is with having something foriegn in my body... that just creeps me out! How did you get over that fear?

if this surgery is a “tool” and people/doctors/surgeons all say you HAVE to change your behaviors and the diet after you get surgery… then why have the surgery at all? Why get cut up for life? Why not just change now your diet/lifestyle/behaviors and have a normal stomach?

Prior to surgery I was always hungry and never satisified... I did not know what it meant to be full, only stuffed from eating. I now can eat and be satisified from food... or eat and feel full, without that I could never stick to any sort of diet plan because I felt deprived and miserable. I know some of the behavior was on the mental side, but it was contributed to by the physical side... by the surgeon 'fixing' that it allowed me to get control over the mental.
Hopefully that makes sense.. for me the key was having my hunger 'fixed'... I rarely feel hungry now, just if I wait too long to eat... I feel now I can finally enjoy eating for the first time because I am eating to live, not living to eat.

I don't usually answer these but I'll put in my opinion.

If you are thinking that surgery is your last option, if you believe that another yo-yo diet is going to be even more dangerous for you, if you are not ready to die of obesity...Then surgery is for you. Any surgery you choose is going to be major surgery. Not to be taken lightly.

I didnt' want to live with hardware inside of me and my insurance will not pay to have it removed once it's put in place. That was the ONLY reason that I decided against the band but it's a very personal choice. You first have to decide that another diet isn't going to work first.

Then you find a surgeon that you trust with your life and see what he recommends. Or ask your PCP and see what they recommend. They know you best.

I'm not sure what you meant by "I don't usually answer these..." I didn't mean to offend, I was only asking for some help and stories from people who have been through the experience of pre-op decision making. Thanks for your input.

Six weeks was the longest I could diet.  I still remember what it was like to be so hungry that knawing the legs off the furniture was a realistic option.  Eventually, I got sick and tired of being "sick and tired" and the diet ended.

Surgery gave me the opportunity to "diet" (meaning the post WLS eating plan) without the physcial sensation of hunger.  This was enough to keep me on trac****il success formed a feedback loop, first 50 pounds, then 100, then 150.  Then the energy starts building and running and skiing sound like fun!

Second, surgery is a diet you can't quit.  I have a new saying: "I can have my cake and not eat it too" meaning some foods (which I should not eat anyway) will cause me to vomit.  In terms of volume, a Happy Meal is about my meal size...to try a super size double quarter pounder meal now would be trip to the ER.  So in a way, surgery gives me a kick in the nuts (as a reminder) every time I fall off the proverbial wagon.

And, in the end, there is a wagon to fall off.  I am a food addict and even tho I am never hungry I always want to eat.  I am now blessed with an understanding of how physcial hunger is different than simply wanting to eat.  I need to use my brain to stay on track which is why I often say "a lot of this job is mental.'

Here's the deal..........only YOU know what is right for you. Not your doctor, not your friends and certainly not any of us here.  But one thing I DO know is that you would not even be considering your gastric options unless you failed several times at yo yo dieting.  I was where you are now.  Now I'm 3 years post op and have lost over 200 lbs.  Met my goal weight a year ago and yeah, it's a struggle to maintain it.  And as far as the RNY, which is what I had, MAKING me change?  Nah, it really doesn't.  If a person really wants to override it, they can but not without consequence.  Paul in the bible says that everything is permissable but not everything is beneficial.  And I live by that.  It's about being given an opportunity to learn our bodies, learn what it wants us to feed it, not what the government says we should be eating.  For me that is very different and now I know that eating grains, etc is what made me fat in the first place. But I journaled and paid attention to what my body and my common sense was telling me about the food I was eating.  So for most of us, having the lap band or the RNY, whichever you decide to have....was an opportunity at a second chance.  I don't know what you think your life will be at in a year should you decide not to do it.  For me it was most certainly going to be a life on disability.  I was so fat that I lost my breathe in the shower and could not even wipe my own ass!  That was MY motivating factor on having the RNY and I will never regret it til the day I die. 

My point is...............don't NOT do what will probably be the best gift you can give yourself out of fear.  If you're motivated and you work the tool.....you WILL lose the weight.  But only you can decide if you're really ready to do this.  IT's a total life change.  Pros and cons just like anything else in life.  Good luck...

Thank you for your response, everyone on here is so helpful and inspiring. I realize that maintaining will probably be the toughest part but like another poster said, at least now I can diet. And now I will know when I am full and I definitely don't want to suffer the negative consequences of pushing the pouch to it's limits! Thank you! Now... if I could just get on my bf's insurance (we live together) I will be all set instead of having to pay 25K out of pocket! Thanks again for the input!

I too was very fearful and asked myself the same types of questions.  I had the same doubts.  I went through it due to primarily health concerns and a very poor family history of diabetes and heart disease. I was scared.  I am almost to goal. I still struggle with getting the balance right and would really like this to be easy, but I have to say having the surgery actually gave me choices that I had never had in the past.  It allowed me to make better choices and took away that nagging hunger I always seemed to feel.  It also took away the need to eat all of the time because I felt hungry. So while it is a tool, it makes all of the other parts of the equation much easier to deal with, but no, not perfect. I wish you the best and hope that if you choose this path, you will find the relief you seek!