The transfer thing.................

It is true.  When some behaviors become obsolete or impossible, we will find new behaviors to fill the gap.  I would not label each action as addictive.  However, the attitude behind the behavior may be the real addiction.

I am finding myself very enamored of the looseness after a glass or two of wine.  It begins simply enough, but once the good times roll, I lose count and track of consumption.  More than once, I have had to be put to bed.  I am a responsible party goer: no driving, no strange crowds, never on my own to be taken advantage of, not crossing any moral lines I set for myself.  But the out-of-control feelings are the intoxication.

I am at my three year mark.  I lost one hundred pounds.  Ten more pounds and I would be at my dream weight.  (That ten pounds also hangs from my frame in the form of excess skin).  No bounce back gain so far.  Steady as she goes, even with the wine consumption.

Drinking is a do or don't thing with me.  I don't crave the drink.  I crave the effects of the drink.  If I come into my own of being less shy without the consumption, I would love it even more.

Does this make sense to anyone else?  Is the whole issue just one of self esteem or am I sliding on a slippery slope?

On a side note, I have discussed this trend with DH, close friends and family.  No one sees my drinking as excessive.  Am I fretting over a natural rite of passage that perhaps I skipped in my twenties?  (I was way beyond responsible and obligated before my twenty first birthday so my wild days were *never*).

I feel the same way too. I like the feeling but don't crave either the feeling or the alcohol...I think vigilance is a good thing in that respect. I always check myself before I have a drink and ask "WHY are you having a drink?"

My issue is that I have alot of alcoholics in my family and I've always been aware of the draw of evil drink...I don't cut it completely out but I watch it. AND I watch where and when too because with my family (siblings, cousins...) I can't be trusted. THEY can't be trusted. It's best to be a tea totaller with that crowd and drink when I'm having a social time with just my husband.

Dawn,

I so know the family effect.  I didn't drink AT ALL until my 30's.  Not a single drop.  I grew up in the hell of alcoholism and never, never want to be there.  I think I could be overly worried for that reason.

I always plan the when and where.  It is never something that surprises me.

Thanks.

I think you have a good handle on it and wouldn't let it be a slippery slope for you. You already have that wired in the back of your mind so it's not an addiction issue. If you really are bothered by it, cut it out completely and see if that makes you feel more in control. I don't think it will because it sounds like you are in control and choose when to be "out of control" quite well..If you didn't choose the when and where carefully and found yourself in bad situations or doing this way too often, it would point you AND me to some sort of therapy...But I'm not getting that impression..You seem like a very strong person to me...

Your checks and balances are working, as far as I can see.

Vicky, only you know for sure if it's a problem.  Have you asked yourself  why you are drinking?  Is it necessary in this instance?  Am I looking forward to the time/day/occassion to drink?  How will it affect me if I drink or if I don't have a drink? 

I haven't ventured much into alcohol post-op because I found out that it affects me very negatively.  I've had 2 occassions that were not me, the alcohol made me someone I'm not.

Having grown up with several alcoholics in my family and a relationship with an alcoholic I am fearful of what it does to me mentally and physically.  That fear keeps me away from it.

I appreciate your comments.  I have gotten some great insight with my cross post today.

On a lighter note, the only time a drink is NECESSARY is when I am dealing with my in laws.  But I think that is allowed.    I am much nicer then.  It helps everyone.

Oh, I hear ya on the inlaw thing, LOL!!! Seriously though, it does sound like you're not out of control with drinking, but maybe being cautious~not a bad thing at all. Every once in a while I get the taste for a drink, but it doesn't happen very often since surgery. When it does, I generally do it to the excess. As many have already said I too have alcoholism that runs in my family so I am very aware and don't ever want to be like that. Good Luck and Congratulations on maintaining your weightloss so well~that's fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

I agree that only you can know if there's a problem and I'm not here to address that part of your post.  It's OK for a responsible adult to let loose and have some fun every once in a while, at least in my book it is.  I understand why you're concerned and it's definitely something to keep an eye on, but I think you're OK. 

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!  =D

You know,  I think that is part of the issue.  I was involved in a very fundamental church for many years.  Drinking was totally not acceptable.  And the actual enjoyment of drinking........................not at all!

Adults can have some fun.  Be responsible.  I need to really remind myself of my good qualities, too.

Thanks.

Hi Vicky.  Wow, you put into words exactly what I feel.  I love the relaxation, the "looseness" I feel when I drink alcohol.  Like you, I started drinking after my RNY.  A little at first.  Progressed to having to be put to bed.  Basically passing out.  Getting sick.  I never did that before.  I knew in my head that I shouldn't drink alcohol because with my surgery, it goes straight into my system.  But I did.  And then I drank some more.

I guess I liked the feeling.  And I didn't stop with one drink...it always went to two and three...until this year I found myself drinking 2 bottle of red wine every night.  Or a whole bottle of vodka.  I am the last person who would drink like that.  Hiding bottles under my bathroom counter.  Waking up sick.  Vicky, you are on a slippery slope.  You are about to give up the success you've achieved in recent months.  If you keep drinking, you WILL regain your weight.  I never got to goal weight.  I lost my drive, my vision.  I regained 60 lbs very quickly.

Now is the time to stop, take a break, a vacation, a day of contemplation...whatever it takes.  Your feelings are telling you that you need to figure out a way to COPE.  Figure out better ways to cope with stress, with anger, with sadness.  Please.  Now is the time before guilt and shame cause you to backslide and put you into a downward spiral that is amazingly painful.  Stop drinking now.

11 days ago I finally got a grip on my life.  Started drinking tons of water.  Eating tons of protein.  Following "the rules."  For the longest time I didn't want to hear about the rules.  I didn't want to be a wls grad.  I just wanted to forget the whole thing.  Be smarter than I was. 

Take care of yourself...the right way.

With warm regards,
Cara
350/192/252..someday 175